Uploaded byCorinne Weisgerber
Communication and Interpersonal Relationships
The document explores various theories of attraction and relationship development, highlighting concepts such as attraction theory, rules theory, and dialectics theory. It discusses factors influencing attraction, including similarity, reinforcement, and socioeconomic status, along with types of love defined by John Alan Lee. Additionally, it addresses the dynamics of relationship maintenance, including dialectical tensions and maintenance rules that differ across friendships, romantic relationships, and family connections.
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Communication and Interpersonal Relationships
- 1. RELATIONSHIPS Theories of RelationalDevelopment Dialectics theory • Rules theory Attraction theory • Love Styles
- 2. What makes usfeel attracted to some people and not to others ? ?
- 3. What are eHarmony’spartner suggestions based on?
- 4. Attraction Theory Opposites attract Birds ofa feather fl ock together Complementarity vs. Similarity not generally true; dominant/submissive Most of us are attracted to others whose values, attitudes & lifestyles are similar to ours and who are about as attractive as we are.
- 5. Attraction Theory 1. Similarity(physical attractiveness, attitudes, demographics) 2. Proximity 3. Reinforcement 4. Physical Attractiveness & Personality 5. Socioeconomic & Educational Status Factors determining attraction:
- 6. Matching Hypothesis We tend todevelop relationships with people who are similar to us in physical attractiveness
- 7. Do we pickpeople who are similar to us?
- 8. Have we internalizedour “attractiveness number”?
- 9. Which comes fi rst: similarityor attraction? Does similarity cause attraction or does attraction cause similarity? Both true simultaneously Need to manipulate level of similarity and then measure level of attraction
- 10. 1. Fills outattitude survey Study Participant Bogus Stranger 2. Researcher fi lls out survey for “bogus stranger” 3. Varies degree to which responses correspond to participant’s responses (50%, 80%, etc.) 4. Shown bogus stranger survey 5. Asked to rate stranger on a set of scales that measure liking the greater the similarity, the greater the liking
- 11. Do we detectattitude similarity this way in real life ? ?
- 12. Attraction TheoryProximity Principle People who havethe greatest opportunity to interact = people who become friends
- 13. Attraction TheoryReinforcement We are attractedto people who give rewards or reinforcements
- 14. We feel friendlyto those who have treated us well, either ourselves or those we care for... “ “ - Aristotle, Book II, 4
- 15. Attraction TheoryPhysical Attraction • 150milliseconds • Decision made before we are aware of it • We feel greater sense of familiarity when we see attractive people • Dilated pupils judged more attractive • Certain facial features are considered universally attractive • Physical attractiveness deemed more important by high self-monitors • Physically attractive people believed to be more sensitive, kind, interesting, strong, poised, modest, sensible, outgoing, exciting, and sexually warm • How long does it take you to decide whether someone is attractive or not? • halo effect
- 16. Which face ismost attractive? 81% of males would vote for her
- 17. Which face ismost attractive? Majority of females would vote for him
- 18. What makes aface attractive?
- 19. Why do wevalue facial symmetry? We are subconsciously responding to clues about physical & genetic health
- 20. How do advertisersuse these fi ndings to make models appear more attractive?
- 21. Attraction TheorySocioeconomic & Educational Status • Women fi nd highersocioeconomic status attractive • Men fi nd lower socioeconomic status attractive • Women stress physical attributes when fl irting online • Men stress socioeconomic status when fl irting online • Men fi nd women with higher ed. level less likable, less faithful => lower likelihood of relationship Some gender differences:
- 22. Rel ationship Dialectics Theory • Maintenance: preventiveefforts to preserve relationship’s current state • Repair: problem solving efforts to restore relationship to a previous state • No steady state: tension between opposing desires • Dialectical tensions throughout relationship’s lifespan Dialectical view: View of maintenance: Always trying to balance tension openess/closedness, autonomy/connection, predictability/novelty Leslie Baxter
- 23. • Relationships areheld together by adherence to rules • Universal maintenance rules that apply to all relationships (i.e. respecting other’s privacy) Relationship Rules TheoryShimanoff, 1980 1. Friendship rules: • stand up for friends, trust, offer help and support 2. Romantic rules: • faithful, share time, enhance each other’s self-worth, acknowledge indiv. identities 3. Family rules: • conversation topics, how to talk about certain topics, who to talk to Different rules for different relationships:
- 24. 1. acknowledge eachother’s individual identities and lives beyond the relationship 2. express similar attitudes, beliefs, values, and interests 3. enhance each other’s self-worth and self-esteem 4. be open, genuine, and authentic with each other 5. remain loyal and faithful to each other 6. have substantial shared time together 7. reap rewards commensurate with their investments relative to the other party 8. experience a mysterious and inexplicable ‘magic’ in each other’s presence Romantic Rules Rank them in order of importance
- 25. • What wasthe most important rule? Why? • How similar were your rankings to others? • How might your rankings change with age? • 14 year-old? • 80 year-old? • What other factors in fl uenced your ranking? Romantic Rules
- 26. TYPES OF LOVE Eros• Ludus • Storge • Pragma • Mania • Agape John Alan Lee, 1973; Hendrick & Hendrick, 1984
- 27. TYPES OF LOVE Eros:Beauty & Sexuality 1. • Erotic, physical type of love • Focus on physical attractiveness • Idealized/unattainable image of beauty • Sensitive to physical imperfections
- 28. TYPES OF LOVE Ludus:Entertainment & Excitement 2. • Love is fun, is a game • Love shouldn’t be taken too seriously • Need to control/manage love • Sexual fi delity not that important • More tolerated by men than by women
- 29. TYPES OF LOVE Storge:Peaceful & Slow 3. • Greek for “familial love” • Lacks passion & intensity • Sex happens late in relationship, not that important • Goal: companionable relationship • More important for women
- 30. TYPES OF LOVE Pragma:Practical & Traditional 4. • Based on logic rather than feelings • Chooses mate carefully • Concerned with social quali fi cations of potential mate • Goal: relationship that will make rest of life easier • Ludus + Storge
- 31. TYPES OF LOVE Mania:Elation & Depression 5. • Extreme highs & lows • Intense love & intense fear of losing it • Prone to extreme jealousy • Related to lower self-esteem, women • Goal: to be possessed/loved intensely • Eros + Ludus
- 32. TYPES OF LOVE Agape:Compassionate & Sel fl ess 6. • Egoless, altruistic love • Love for all people - even strangers • Not concerned with personal reward • Spiritual love • Rarest love style: concerned with giving • Eros + Storge
- 33.
- 34. The Wedding Crashers: Eros• Ludus • Storge • Pragma • Mania • Agape?
- 35. Eros • Ludus• Storge • Pragma • Mania • Agape?
- 36. Eros • Ludus• Storge • Pragma • Mania • Agape? Claire’s Fiancé
- 37. The Secretary’s Wife: Eros• Ludus • Storge • Pragma • Mania • Agape?
- 38. Finding Love inOther Cultures What type of love style seems to be valued here?
- 39. STAGES OF LOVE Lovechanges with time 1. Initial Attraction • eros, mania, ludus 2. Relationship Develops • storge 3. Relationship Bonds Develop • pragma - Duck, 1986
- 40. Tension mounts in theabuser Victim feels loved and reassured TENSION EXPLOSION HONEYMOON REMORSE 1 2 4 3 Abuser explodes by being violent Abuser is remorseful and loving CYCLE OF ABUSE