Why accomplished women hide their brilliance and how to stop

For 20 years, I’ve watched brilliant women sabotage their own success with four simple words: “Oh, it was nothing.” → Client compliments your strategy? “I was just brainstorming.” → Boss praises your presentation? “The team did all the work.” → Colleague acknowledges your expertise? “I just got lucky.” Sound familiar? Here’s what I’ve learned: When you deflect praise, you literally teach others not to value your work. 🚫 Your boss won’t promote someone whose “best work” is described as “nothing.” 🚫 Your clients won’t pay premium rates to someone who “just got lucky.” 🚫 Your team won’t follow a leader who won’t own their wins. I started practicing four different words: “Thank you; it’s true.” The response? My speaking fees increased. Leadership opportunities multiplied. Most importantly, I stopped being my own worst advocate. This isn’t about arrogance; it’s about accuracy. When you do great work, own it. When someone recognizes your value, receive it. I’m so passionate about this shift that I created the @Thank You; It’s True™ movement. Hundreds of professional women have already signed the manifesto committing to stop deflecting their brilliance. Your turn: What’s one compliment you deflected this week that you should have owned? The movement starts with awareness. Join us at: thankyou-itstrue.com #WomenInLeadership #ProfessionalDevelopment #Confidence #CareerGrowth #ThankYouItsTrue

I hear variations of this confession more than you'd think. Brilliant women, capable of running entire departments, companies, probably nations if we'd let them, admitting they're scared to reach for more in their career. Not because they can't do the work. They absolutely can. They're scared because they've watched the house of cards nearly tumble before. Maybe it was their own burnout - that soul-crushing time when everything became too much. Maybe it was watching a friend implode trying to juggle a demanding role while still being the "perfect" mother, partner, daughter. Or maybe they just feel perpetually one step away from the edge, constantly managing that impossible equation: prove yourself twice as hard at work + handle everything at home = total exhaustion. So they don't reach for more, career-wise. "If I can barely keep all these plates spinning now, how can I possibly take on more?" This fear isn't irrational. It's protective. Because society has convinced women that stepping up means doing MORE of everything, not doing things DIFFERENTLY. Here's what I see happening: Women limit their own ambitions to protect their carefully constructed balance. They turn down opportunities not because they lack capability, but because they can't imagine a scenario where success doesn't equal burnout. It's heartbreaking. It's untrue. And it's often completely subconscious. That's why so much of my work involves untangling what my WINners REALLY want from what they think is "realistic" or "sustainable." Because the truth is that you absolutely can step into that bigger role without sacrificing your sanity or your family. But it requires doing things differently: - Setting boundaries that actually stick - Delegating (yes, at home too) - Managing your energy, not just your time - Building systems that support your success instead of drain it One of my WINners was convinced she couldn't handle a VP role because she was already struggling to keep up at director level. Six months later? She's thriving in that VP position because we redesigned HOW she works, not just what work she does. So if you're holding yourself back because you're scared of the juggling act getting harder, let's talk about making it easier instead. Your ambitions aren't too big. Your current approach might just need an upgrade. Have you ever turned down an opportunity because you were afraid of burnout? What would change if you knew there was another way? P.S. That promotion you're afraid to go after? It might actually give you more resources and support to create the sustainable career you've been craving. Don't let fear of overwhelm keep you from the very opportunity that could solve it.

After coaching over 300 Black women on landing their dream job, I noticed one sneaky pattern: They’d downplay or completely overlook their transferable skills, talents, gifts, strengths, and even major wins—on their resumes, in interviews, and in everyday conversations. Their brilliance? Hidden in plain sight. Why? Because workplace trauma and subconscious bias had convinced them to shrink; to edit themselves & lead with labor, not leadership. And it’s not their fault. Imagine being told you're either too much—or not enough. Imagine being overlooked for promotions you earned. Imagine being labeled “the workhorse” while someone else is tapped as the leader. Imagine a career where your labor drives the company’s bottom line, but the recognition, the raise, the title? Nowhere in sight. We've been told—directly and indirectly—that the value we bring isn’t real value. So we start to believe it. We bury our brilliance. We forget how powerful we are. And what’s the result? 📉 Fewer interview callbacks 📉 Overlooked resumes 📉 Passed-over promotions Because when you undersell your achievements, you widen the gap between how good you are—and how good they think you are. That gap gets filled by others. People who are less qualified end up in the role you deserved. And then the self-doubt creeps in: Am I the problem? Am I not good enough? Do my degrees not count? Is my experience not enough? On the outside, you seem fine. But inside? Your confidence is tanking. So how do we fix it? The Golden Triangle Process. Before you pay for another resume rewrite, pause. Because if your gifts, strengths, and talents are buried in your subconscious, no resume writer can showcase what you haven’t uncovered. That’s why I created The Golden Triangle—a 3-part process of powerful questions and exercises that help you surface your strengths, define your purpose, and reignite your confidence. Here are a few prompts that start the excavation: - Ask 5 people: What are my top 3 strengths—and would you come to me to solve something? - What do people praise me for consistently? - What things do you do easily and naturally that feel difficult or challenging for others? - In your last 3 roles, what tasks did you dread vs. what did you love? If those questions feel hard—or leave you blank—it’s a sign you have brilliance hiding under the surface. And when you finally unlock it? Your resume shifts from generic to powerful. Your confidence becomes magnetic. Interviewers lean in. You get the callback. You get the offer. This isn't something AI can generate. You have to go within and bring it forward. I remember how hard it was for me to name what made me great. I knew I carried something powerful—but I couldn’t articulate it. I didn’t have the language. That’s why I built The Golden Triangle—for me, and now, for you. Want to dive deeper into the Golden Triangle process? Click the link below! #blackwomenintech #blackwomeninhr #blackintech #blackwomeninleadership

When I meet someone new, I do NOT want to hear this. “Hi, I work at [Organization].” “I helped with some enrollment stuff.” “I do community work.” No. You launched an entire program that changed people’s lives. You increased enrollment by 300%. You built a program that moved 50 families out of poverty. Here's what I see happening constantly: Brilliant people - especially people of color, and women – shrinking themselves in professional spaces. Downplaying their accomplishments. Acting like they didn't do the things they actually did. I’m not saying you should boast. But I am saying your work deserves to be named for what it truly is. In a world that wants to take our credibility from us, I refuse to quietly hand it over. Here's what I tell my team (and really anyone who’ll listen): Don't act like you didn't do those things. Don't act like you're not great. Do not make yourself small. You didn't just "work somewhere." You created something. You solved something. You changed something. The same energy you put into being humble about your wins? Put that into being bold about your impact. Because the world needs to know what you're capable of. Not so you can brag, but so they know who to call when they need real change. Your accomplishments aren't accidents. They're evidence. Evidence of what happens when you get the chance to do what you do best. So tell me: What did you actually accomplish that you've been downplaying? Because I guarantee it's bigger than you're making it sound.

Avoiding self-promotion is the loudest message you can send about your value. It doesn't make you humble. It makes you invisible. Self-advocacy isn't "too much." It's how leaders get recognized, promoted, and trusted. I used to keep quiet about my wins, afraid I'd look arrogant. But silence doesn't protect your reputation. It erases it. Let's change that. Here are 3 self-promotion myths keeping smart people stuck and how to break them: → "Sharing my wins is bragging." Why that's false: Bragging is self-centered. Self-promotion shows how your work creates value for others. Try this instead: Frame your wins in terms of team impact, business results, or lessons learned. → "If I do great work, it'll speak for itself." Why that's false: Even amazing work gets overlooked in a noisy environment. People notice value when it's pointed out with purpose. Try this instead: Make your impact visible - or risk letting someone less qualified take the spotlight. → "Self-promotion will make people dislike me." Why that's false: What repels people isn't confidence. It's arrogance without credibility. Authentic self-promotion builds trust. Try this instead: Share wins in a way that feels honest, grounded, and aligned with your values. Which one of these is holding you back? If this resonated, ♻️ share it to help more high performers stop hiding and start owning their value.

What got you here won’t get you there. 10 myths keeping ambitious women stuck   (and how to break free) I see it every day. Brilliant women following advice that holds them back. I did it too, for years. Until I realized something crucial: These aren't just myths - they're career killers. 1/ The Effort Illusion ❌ "Just work harder than everyone else" ↳ Working harder makes you indispensable, not promotable ✅ Instead: Focus on high-visibility projects and delegate routine tasks 2/ The Modesty Trap ❌ "Results speak for themselves" ↳ While you deliver, others shape the narrative of their success ✅ Instead: Actively communicate your achievements and impact to key stakeholders 3/ The Patience Penalty ❌ "Wait to be recognized" ↳ Leadership roles are claimed, not granted ✅ Instead: Voice your career goals and actively pursue leadership opportunities 4/ The Humility Handicap ❌ "Stay humble and minimize achievements" ↳ Your humility is being misread as lack of ambition ✅ Instead: Own your successes and articulate your value with confidence 5/ The Likeability Tax ❌ "Focus on being liked" ↳ Being respected drives promotions, not being nice ✅ Instead: Make decisions based on business impact, not popularity 6/ The Readiness Myth ❌ "Keep your head down until you're 100% ready" ↳ Men raise their hands at 60% - and get selected ✅ Instead: Apply for roles when you meet 60% of criteria and grow into the rest 7/ The Expertise Paradox ❌ "Build deeper expertise" ↳ Strategic influence trumps technical mastery ✅ Instead: Focus on building strategic relationships and business acumen 8/ The Team Player Syndrome ❌ "Be the team player" ↳ While making others shine, you become invisible ✅ Instead: Balance team support with visible leadership of key initiatives 9/ The Timing Trap ❌ "Wait for the perfect moment" ↳ There's no perfect time - only missed opportunities ✅ Instead: Create opportunities and take calculated risks now 10/ The Safety Illusion ❌ "Don't rock the boat" ↳ Playing it safe keeps you stuck while others advance ✅ Instead: Challenge status quo with data-backed solutions and fresh perspectives Breaking free from these myths is your first step to having the respect, income and recognition you deserve. Which myth has held you back the most? Share below -  you might help someone else recognize they're falling for the same myth. P.S: Want to learn how to overcome these myths and advance in your career? DM me “READY”. — ♻️ Repost this to help your network break free of these 10 myths. 🔔 Follow Maharukh Dalal for more leadership and career advancement tips

Why Feminine Leaders aren't being Promoted I’ve worked with incredible women—smart, talented, and deeply driven. But… There are times they seem to hit a wall when it comes to career progression. And I know firsthand how frustrating it can feel to deliver excellence over and over, only to watch others climb the ladder while you remain in the same spot.  But promotions aren’t just about working hard. They’re about strategy, visibility, and intentionality.  Here are three reasons why feminine leaders often miss out on promotions—and how you can change that narrative for yourself:  1. The Authenticity Trap: You're trying to fit into a masculine leadership mould instead of embracing your feminine power. I see this constantly—brilliant women dimming their natural qualities because they think sensitivity, empathy, and intuition are weaknesses. I remember being told to "stay in the office" as an Assistant Commercial Engineer because I was a woman. But here's the truth: your feminine qualities are actually your greatest leadership advantages. What to Do: Stop apologizing for your feminine energy. Instead, learn to recognise it, appreciate it and then harness it. Use your intuition for strategic decision-making. Let your empathy guide team development. Transform your natural relationship-building skills into powerful strategic alliances. 2. The Visibility Void: You're doing incredible work, but nobody knows about it. As a double minority in male-dominated industries, I learned this lesson early: excellence in silence doesn't get noticed. Many women feel uncomfortable "promoting" themselves, thinking their work should speak for itself. What to Do: Create strategic visibility. Share your wins in ways that feel authentic to you. Build relationships across departments. Develop a signature leadership presence that commands attention naturally. Remember: it's not about bragging—it's about ensuring your contributions are recognized. 3. The Confidence Conundrum: You're waiting until you feel "ready" before putting yourself forward. I still remember my French professor telling me I wasn't good enough for engineering because I was a woman. That voice of doubt can be paralyzing. But here's what I've learned: readiness is a myth. What to Do: Take aligned action before you feel ready. Build your confidence through competence. Create systems for tracking your wins. Develop an unshakeable leadership presence. Remember: the women who get promoted aren't necessarily the most qualified—they're the ones who put themselves forward. The path to promotion isn't just about working harder but working smarter and showing up more powerfully. To get that promotion, step into the fullness of your excellence, make your work visible, and position yourself for the opportunities you deserve. Learnt something? REPOST to help other women in leadership. Check comment section for a resource of mine that can help you achieve this easily. #bodamtaiwo #feminineleadership  

Most women aren’t struggling with ambition. They’re struggling with permission. To want more. To ask for more. To be more. And it’s not because we don’t have the drive, It’s because we’ve been taught that asking for what we want comes at a cost. “Women don’t advocate for themselves.” That’s the diagnosis. But let’s talk about the conditioning that created this symptom. 🧠 From a young age, we were trained to betray our own instincts in the name of likability. When we spoke up, we were told to be polite. When we led, we were labeled bossy. When we stood our ground, we were deemed difficult. Then we entered the workplace. And suddenly, those same qualities - assertiveness, clarity, ambition - became the ticket to success. Except now, they came with a cost: ⚡️ The likability backlash ⚡️ The ambition tax ⚡️ The invisible double standard So when people ask, “Why don’t women advocate for themselves?” I always ask back: “Why would they - when the price has always been higher than the reward?” During the group coaching session of our "Transform from Hidden Talent to Visible Leader" online program, one pattern showed up across the board: 👉 A hesitation to own their success. 👉 A discomfort with visibility. 👉 A learned fear of being “too much.” Not because they lacked value. But because no one taught them how to advocate without guilt or backlash. Here are 3 truths no one puts in leadership books: 💥 1. Self-advocacy is a continuous act of honoring your future self. Self-advocacy isn’t just about today, it’s about shaping the future you want. Every decision you make should align with where you want to be, not just where you are. • Say no to distractions that pull you away from your long-term goals. • Prioritize yourself by making decisions that build your future, not just serve immediate needs. Your future self will thank you. 💥 2. Stop asking for permission through politeness. How often do you hear: “Sorry to interrupt…” “This might not make sense, but…” “Just a thought…” Delete the disclaimer. Start with your point. You’re not a guest in the room. 💥 3. Your work will not speak for itself. It never has. And that’s not your fault. But it is your responsibility to make it visible. Strategically. Boldly. Without apology. If this resonates, and you’re in a season of wanting to be seen -  not just for what you do, but for who you are when you lead Join the waitlist for our next cohort of From Hidden Talent to Visible Leader - a 4-week online experience for women who are ready to advocate for themselves with clarity, strategy, and quiet power. It’s not about becoming louder. It’s about becoming more you. ✨ Link in comments #HiddenTalentToVisibleLeader #WomenInLeadership #TheElevateGroup #PowerfullyYou #UnlearnToRise

𝗦𝘁𝗼𝗽 𝗦𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗦𝗸𝗶𝗹𝗹𝘀. 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗢𝘄𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗶𝘀𝗲 I see this too often: accomplished mid-to-late career women with decades of experience, still introducing themselves by what they can do instead of the transformational impact they create. We've been trained to think our value is in our skills/task list. That being "qualified" means having a long list of certifications and competencies. 𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚'𝙨 𝙖 𝙘𝙧𝙪𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙡 𝙙𝙞𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙩𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙣 𝙨𝙠𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙚𝙭𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙩𝙞𝙨𝙚 - 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙞𝙩 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙨 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜. 𝗦𝗸𝗶𝗹𝗹𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲:   • Learned through training   • Task-focused   • Common and transferable   • Resume-friendly   • Focused on how   • Performed by many   • Replaceable They get you in the door, but they don't make you indispensable. 𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗶𝘀𝗲 𝗶𝘀:   • Built through real experience and hard-won insights   • Uniquely yours, shaped by your perspective and journey   • Strategic, not just tactical   • What makes people stop and listen when you speak   • The reason leaders seek your input, not just your output   • Focused on why and what’s next 𝙄𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙚𝙧 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡𝙨 𝙨𝙩𝙪𝙘𝙠, 𝙞𝙩'𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙙𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙖𝙡𝙨. It's because you're leading with skills when you should be showcasing expertise. That's exactly what my career transformation coaching program does. I help mid-to-late career women in healthcare and STEM make this critical shift. 𝙈𝙮 𝙘𝙡𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙨 𝙜𝙤 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙛𝙤𝙘𝙪𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙣 𝙨𝙠𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙨-𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙙𝙚𝙨𝙞𝙜𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙪𝙥, 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙪𝙣𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙧 𝙫𝙖𝙡𝙪𝙚, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙫𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙜𝙞𝙘 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙤𝙡𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙫𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙖𝙡𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙮 𝙖𝙧𝙚. What aspect of your unique expertise are you ready to stop downplaying and start amplifying? This is your moment. Don’t shrink. Make the shift. #CareerTransformation #TheCareerTransformationPlaybook #MyCareerByDesign #BoldCareers #WomenInHealthcare #WomenInSTEM #OwnYourVoice #MidCareerMoves #CareerEvolution #ExpertiseMatters #WorkforceInnovation #DrOnyekaAbengowe

When I finally landed a $200K+ offer, I realized I’d been making the same 3 mistakes for years, and they kept me from landing the roles I deserved. (Now I see 8 out of 10 mid-career women repeating those same mistakes every day.) I’ve graduated from IIT Delhi. I have led global teams at SLB. But even those achievements didn’t make me believe I was ready. Because high-achieving women are taught the same thing, over and over again: Work hard, stay humble, and let your results speak for themselves. And that’s what keeps so many brilliant women stuck. Here’s what I had to unlearn, and what I now help mid-career women fix every single day inside The Fearless Hire. 1. I waited to be "ready" before aiming higher I told myself → Let me lead one more big project first. → They’re probably looking for someone with more experience. → I’ll apply when I’ve done this exact thing before. The fix I stopped asking if I was ready and started showing that I already was. When you operate at a high level, the job description is often behind you. Apply anyway. 2. I downplayed my scope, thinking it was just part of the job I led global teams, managed millions, and took decisions that shaped roadmaps. But I presented it like: “Cross-functional stakeholder engagement.” The fix You don’t need to exaggerate, but you do need to claim your impact. Talk like the person who made the call, not the one who sat in the meeting. 3. I negotiated like I should be grateful. I used to say things like: → “Whatever works within your range.” → “I’m open — happy to be considered.” → “I trust you’ll offer what’s fair.” The fix Clarity over courtesy. Know your number, anchor your ask, and don’t flinch when it’s time to state your value. The day I stopped making these 3 mistakes, I landed a $200k+ leadership role at a top tech company in the U.S. If you’re a mid-career woman aiming for a $200K–$500K role, the real gap isn’t your experience; it’s your positioning. Share this with someone who's struggling to crack high-paying offers. P.S. DM me “Career” to apply for The Fearless Hire - my career accelerator for mid-career women ready to stop holding back and start leading at the level they belong.