Rewriting Self-Narratives for Women

Here’s a story I recently heard from a woman executive coaching client, and my advice for her. I’m posting it here because I know it will resonate with many women. It’s a common challenge. “A colleague—someone who’s known me for decades—assumes he knows me inside out. His narrative? Built on fragments of ‘observations’, spun from threads of opinion and confirmation bias. In truth, what he “knows” about me wouldn’t fill a thimble.” 📌 Here's My Advice: 1. Empower Your Narrative: Define yourself by your truths, not by the stories others tell about you. Own your achievements and highlight your unique strengths. 2. Challenge Assumptions Actively: Engage in open dialogue to dismantle misconceptions. Use facts, figures, and results-driven narratives to underscore your professional identity. 3. Seek Allies: Cultivate a network of peers who understand your value and can support your vision. Collaboration with informed colleagues enhances credibility. 4. Stay Resilient: Opinions based on bias can echo in boardrooms, but resilience is key. Continue to show up with authenticity and confidence in your capabilities. 5. Mentor and Advocate: Influence change by mentoring the next generation of women leaders. Share experiences and educate others about the nuances of bias in professional settings. Remember, as women leaders, our stories deserve to be told accurately and with respect. Empower yourself, challenge biases, and shape your professional legacy on your terms. #WomenInLeadership #BreakingTheBias #Empowerment #ExecutiveLeadership #WomenInBusiness #LinkedInWisdom

Same Promotion. Two Different Worlds. Story 1: Arjun gets promoted. He calls his wife, parents, and mentor. They cheer. His boss pats his back—“Next stop, leadership!” He updates LinkedIn, receives 350 likes. Celebration dinner is booked. He’s already thinking of the next step. He feels seen. Story 2: Naina gets promoted. She pauses. Her first thought? “How will I manage the kids’ pickup now?” Second thought—“I’ll need help with the in-laws’ appointments.” She shares the news at home. Mixed reactions. "Won’t it get too hectic?” “Are you sure you want this?” She updates LinkedIn two weeks later. The post is carefully worded—not “I’m proud to share” but “Grateful for the opportunity.” She celebrates quietly—between wrapping up a meeting and preparing dinner. She feels proud… and a little guilty. Same designation. Same responsibilities. But the emotional cost? Unequal. Because for many women, each step up at work requires two steps of negotiation at home. Not just with others—but often, with themselves. Let’s rewrite this narrative. Let’s stop expecting women to manage success. Let’s start allowing them to own it.

Lately, my feed has been full of green banners. Every week, people reach out—former colleagues, friends of friends, folks I’ve never even met. All asking the same thing: “How do I tell my story in a way that actually gets attention?” Not just attention. Traction. Because a résumé doesn’t always cut it. A list of job titles can’t explain how you’ve grown. And in a market like this, where qualified people are getting ghosted, the only way to stand out is to show how you’ve changed. That’s why I use the C.O.R.E. Framework when helping others rewrite their narrative. At the center of every great story is change. This helps you tell yours with more clarity, confidence, and connection. ⸻ 🖼 Context What did life look like before the shift? What were you focused on? What did success mean to you back then? 💥 Obstacle What disrupted that world? A layoff. A restructure. Burnout. This is the moment that forced you to rethink your path. 🧗 Rebuild What did you do next? The messy middle. The experiments. The reflection. This is where the growth lives—and where most people give up. 🌱 Emerge What did you learn? What changed in you? And how does that change make you more valuable now? Here’s a quick example: Context: I was leading an L&D team focused on completions and compliance. Training was seen as a checkbox, not a business driver. Obstacle: A company reorg forced us to tie learning to performance outcomes. Our usual metrics didn’t hold up anymore. Rebuild: I shifted gears—interviewed stakeholders, aligned programs to behavioral goals, and embedded learning into the flow of work. Emerge: Now, I approach learning as a lever for change, not just knowledge transfer. That mindset shift transformed how I lead—and how I deliver results. You don’t need a perfect résumé. You need a clear story. One that starts with change, and ends with purpose. #CareerStorytelling #Reinvention #JobSearchStrategy #ProfessionalBranding #OpenToWork #LearningDesign #CareerGrowth

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗕𝘂𝗿𝗱𝗲𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝗜𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝘁𝘆  When I was younger, being the eldest daughter, I wore the title of “𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗼𝗻𝗲” like armor. It started innocently enough, helping my parents, stepping in when others couldn’t, making sure things didn’t fall apart. Over time, that role became an identity. I wasn’t just Farida anymore. I was the dependable one, the fixer, the strong one who always had it together. Later, I carried that identity into my career. I was quickly labeled “𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗼𝗻𝗲.” I took on extra projects and prided myself on never dropping the ball. At first, it served me well. Managers trusted me. Colleagues leaned on me. But slowly, the very identity that brought me recognition began to weigh me down. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘰𝘭𝘦𝘴 that 𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘦, 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘭𝘪𝘮𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱, 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘵𝘩. 🎭 𝗜𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗮𝘀 𝗮 𝗠𝗮𝘀𝗸 Titles and roles often become masks: “𝗠𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗿” may make us believe we must always know, even when the real strength lies in asking. “𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘁” may silence curiosity, stopping us from asking naïve but necessary questions. “𝗛𝗶𝗴𝗵 𝗽𝗼𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗮𝗹” may chain us to perfection, trapping us in the fear of making mistakes. “𝗠𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿” may make us believe we must always be selfless, putting everyone else first, even when our own needs go unheard. “𝗣𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝗳𝗲” may trap us in the pursuit of harmony, where keeping peace feels safer than speaking truth, slowly eroding authenticity and connection. The mask offers safety, but it also creates a sense of distance. 𝗗𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝘂𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻, 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝘃𝗲𝘀. 📖 𝗥𝗲𝘄𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗡𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 As individuals, what if we allowed ourselves to be whole, not just the perfect mother, partner, or professional, but human beings? 💡 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗕𝗲𝗴𝗶𝗻 𝗨𝗻𝗯𝘂𝗿𝗱𝗲𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗢𝗹𝗱 𝗜𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗲𝘀 1. 𝗔𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗙𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁 – 𝗔𝘀𝗸: Which roles or labels feel heavy? Naming the identity loosens its grip. 2. 𝗦𝗲𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗥𝗼𝗹𝗲 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗦𝗲𝗹𝗳 – Remember: Roles are something you play, not who you are. 3. 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗲 𝗢𝗹𝗱 𝗕𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗲𝗳𝘀 – Ask: Is this still true, or just a survival story from the past? Experiment with new ways of being and redefine success 4. 𝗦𝗲𝗲𝗸 𝗙𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 – Others often notice the masks we miss. 5. 𝗣𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗦𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 – Thank old identities for their service, then set them down and rewrite the story ✨𝗦𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗿𝗮𝘃𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗮𝗰𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽, 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗲𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝘂𝗿𝗱𝗲𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝗮𝗻 𝗼𝗹𝗱 𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝘁𝘆... 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 (𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀) 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗹𝘆 𝗯𝗲. #IdentityAtWork #AuthenticLeadership #PersonalGrowth

As a woman leader, your most potent tool isn't your resume or your MBA. It's your story. Why? Because storytelling isn't just an art - it's a strategic superpower. Here's why storytelling is a game-changer for women leaders: 1. Authenticity amplifier: Your unique experiences as a woman? They're not baggage. They're gold. Weave them into your leadership narrative. It's not oversharing - it's strategic vulnerability. 2. Emotional intelligence showcase: We excel at EQ, right? Stories let you flex this muscle. Use narratives to build connections and inspire action. It's not manipulation - it's motivation. 3. Bias buster: Facing stereotypes? Stories can rewrite the script. Share tales that challenge assumptions. It's not defensive - it's reframing the narrative. 4. Vision catalyst: Want to drive change? Paint a vivid picture of the future through story. It's not daydreaming - it's strategic foresight. 5. Legacy builder: Your journey can light the path for others. Share your story to inspire the next generation. It's not bragging - it's paying it forward. Your story isn't just yours. It's a beacon for every woman following in your footsteps. So, what's your leadership story? Start crafting it today. The boardroom is waiting. P.S. Share a snippet of your story below. Let's amplify each other's voices!

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳? We are all master storytellers. Our minds create intricate narratives - some empowering, others limiting. These stories shape our reality, influencing how we perceive ourselves and the world around us. But have you ever paused to question: 𝗔𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘀𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗲? Our minds are filled with countless volumes of personal tales. Some chapters uplift us, while others hold us back. Fear often fuels these narratives - the fear of aging, irrelevance or missed opportunities. I remember when I approached my 40th birthday. The number stood like a giant, casting shadows on my thoughts. Was this the beginning of a decline? Would my best years fade into memory? Logically I understood that age was merely a digit. However, my subconscious clung to these outdated scripts. Through my journaling practice, I delved deeper - to unravel the threads of my inner story. I asked myself: • 𝗗𝗼 𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝗴𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝗱𝗼𝘄𝗻𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗮𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝟰𝟬? • 𝗜𝘀 𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗳𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗱? That’s when it hit me: I held the pen to my story. I could either surrender to societal norms or craft my own reality. I decided to close the old chapter and write a new one - the one that celebrated wisdom, resilience and growth. I chose to use age as my ally, not my adversary. I learnt (and still learning) to value my intellect, experience and unique skills. We all hold within us the ability to rewrite our stories. We can transform our fear into courage, limits into possibilities.  With each tiny step, we redefine our boundaries. 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗮 𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗶𝗰𝗲 - what story do you want to tell?  Will you let life write your script, or will you write your script?

Hey, High-Achieving Women 👋🏾 Feeling the Relentless Pressure of your “Not Enough" Story? Recently, I've had a number of women leaders express to me concerns that they aren't doing enough. Their “not enough“ narratives fuel anxiety, keep them stuck in hamster-wheel work cycles, and disconnects them from the what matters most. But what if there's a better way? A way to achieve success without sacrificing well-being? Is this your current situation? You're constantly worried you're not doing enough. That low-key angst drives you to work crazy hours, ignore your people, and neglect self-care. And yet, you still feel perpetually behind. Let me ask you the question that I ask my clients - it might sting a bit: What IS "enough," anyway? <<This is where you get all sheepish while I give you my "let's keep it real, girl" look>> We both know what's really going on here. "Enough" is a sneaky code word for perfection. The problem with perfection? It's a moving target. Just when you think you’re getting close, the goalposts shift. We all fall into this "perfection trap," mistaking the pursuit of flawlessness as striving for excellence. It's a recipe for burnout, not brilliance. Here's the good news: You are already enough. You wouldn't be where you are if you weren't. You're capable, resourceful, and amazing – just as you are. And you ARE having an impact. So how about you rewrite the story that is no longer serving you and author a more liberating narrative? Here’s are prompts to get you going: 💫 What does success look like when you disentangle yourself from the "not enough" narrative? (Hint: start with your core values and what it looks like when you are living in alignment with them) 💫 What immediate changes would you make, if you gave yourself permission to stop pursuing perfection? Let's dismantle these limiting narratives together! Share your "not enough" struggles and what success looks like on *your* terms in the comments. Extra credit: post your “let’s keep it real, girl” selfies. #executivecoach #womeninleadership #selflimitingstories

This is what good Indian women do. When I was in my early 20s, all of us were sold a story. The story of: - Growing up while learning cooking and all household chores. - Having an arranged marriage with the perfect one chosen for you. - Starting a family with that perfect one. - Maybe work (but be ready to quit for family) That was what society planned for me. That's what a "good Indian woman" was supposed to do. But guess what? I decided to write my own story. Instead of following that script: - I built a career that gives me financial freedom - I got promoted 4 times in 3 years to become a Director at University of Washington - I saved money and created passive income streams - I quit my 6-figure job to start my own business in USA - I chose to be both a mom and entrepreneur at the same time (Hello Mompreneurship!) - And yes, I buy my own jewelry! 💍 The best part? I'm helping other women break free from these old stories too. Every day, I work with women who are: - Stepping out of the "traditional role" box - Building careers they're proud of - Creating financial independence - Making their own choices You know what's fantastic? When you break one limiting belief, you start seeing all the other "rules" that were just stories someone else wrote for you. Here's what I learned: • Your dreams don't have to match society's expectations • Financial independence gives you the power to choose • You can be both a great mom and a successful leader • Traditional roles are suggestions, not rules • The best fairytale is the one you write yourself To every woman reading this: What old story are you ready to rewrite? #womenempowerment #careergrowth #indianwomenintech #mompreneurship

"The story I'm telling myself..." That phrase can be a game-changer. We are 𝘢𝘭𝘭 constantly crafting narratives about our lives. Sometimes, those stories empower us. Other times? They hold us back. The key isn't whether the story is "true," but how it shapes our actions. My client, a rising star, needed more autonomy and visibility. Her manager, though well-intentioned, was unintentionally undermining her confidence by joining and contributing to every client call, even after she'd flawlessly delivered. She was caught in a web of assumptions: "He doesn't trust me," "He thinks the client needs to hear from him." Sound familiar? Here's the power move: own your story. Instead of letting it fester, bring it into the light. And share it. "The story I'm telling myself is that you don't trust me. Because of that, I'm doubting myself and feeling anxious. I'm worried I'm not getting the opportunities I need." Then, ask for what you need. "Would it be okay if I take the next client call alone?" This approach is direct, honest, and opens the door to a new narrative. (Not to mention getting the opportunity to really rise on your experience and value!) How often do you default to a story? This week, challenge yourself to recognize those moments and shift the narrative.