Tips for Avoiding Comparison for Personal Growth

If you feel like you're falling behind... You're gonna want to read this. (this simple mental shift has brought me so much peace of mind) Listen... It's natural to compare yourself to others. It's also natural to feel shitty about that comparison. Why? Because we're masochists and we compare ourselves to the wrong people. To people further along the journey than us. We compare our page one to their page fifty. Of course I'm going to feel shitty about myself when I compare my writing to Stephen King or my businesses to Elon Musk. And it makes sense that these are the people we look to, because they're the ones ahead of us on the trail... It's their asses we're staring at on our journey to top of the mountain. I've personally struggled with this a lot over the years because I'm a very competitive person. But something I've come to realize is that one of the easiest ways to reset how you feel about yourself is to simply change who you compare yourself to. For example, you could choose at any moment to stop looking at the people ahead of you... And instead, turn around to look at all the people behind you. I promise, regardless of where you are on the path, there are millions of people further behind. But to be honest, even this comparison is ultimately shallow and likely to leave you feeling shitty about yourself. Why? Because at the end of the day it doesn't really matter how you stack up against anybody else in the world. The only comparison that actually matters is the one between who you are today and who you were yesterday... or last month... or last year. Now, if you're anything like me, you spend most of your time focused on the gap between where you are and where you're trying to go. But there's another gap I encourage you to take a moment and look back on... It's the gap between where you are now and where you began. In my experience, there's a lifetime of gratitude to be found in that chasm. So give yourself this gift today: 1. Take twenty minutes 2. Go for a walk 3. Reflect on how far you've come on your journey You've earned it.

Comparison is poison. Some of the hardest battles to win are the internal battles. Studies show that a lot of high-flying executives and entrepreneurs are also some of the unhappiest people. Issues with depression, alcohol and drug abuse, etc. Why is that? These are ambitious people with big goals... but when they march toward their goals, they're not getting any closer. Goals remain on the horizon. The more you eat, the hungrier you get. There was a time when I thought "wow if I ever hit $1M in revenue, I've made it!". Now this seems silly. At the same, when you look around - there are always some people hitting the goals you're after. They have more than you. They achieved that revenue milestone sooner. They have a better title, nicer car, bigger house, stronger abs, and a hotter spouse. It's easy to feel inferior. Like you're not good enough. This is a key reason why high-achieving people feel depressed. The constant comparison is eating them from the inside. And there's no end to it -- someone always has more than you. The cure is not to have more - or focus on any external factor. The cure is inner work. Instead of focusing on the gap between your ideal/goal (or where other people are at) and where you are, focus on the progress you've made. How far you've come over the last 5 or 2 years. I'm the kind of person who likes to be on time. It's important to me. A couple of years ago, I was gonna attend a wedding. My wife was taking her sweet time getting ready, and it became obvious we would be 30-40 min late. I was unhappy upfront. I then caught myself - I'm doing comparison thinking. I was comparing my reality to my ideal (being there on time). The gap made me unhappy. Becoming aware of this, I changed my thinking and focused on the gain -- I'm going on a date with my beautiful wife, there will be champagne and dancing. I changed my state from unhappy to excited in just a minute - by changing my frame of thinking. It's natural to want to compare and benchmark. But when you catch yourself doing it, deliberately focus on the gain to escape the unhappiness trap. (I highly recommend Dan Sullivan's book "The Gap and the Gain").

Their journey is not your journey. One crucial lesson from my 22 years of military service and 5 years of investing in real estate is this: Comparison is the quickest way to sabotage your success, relationships, and joy. Here’s what comparison looks like: In the military: → They got promoted, but I did not. → They got the assignments I wanted. → They got the connections. In real estate: → They have bigger portfolios. → They’re closing more deals. → They know all the right people. If I told you I never struggled with "comparison," I'd be lying. It took work and some serious self-reflection to understand and appreciate "everyone's journey is different" and "embrace my journey." Helpful tips you can use to overcome comparison: → Get crystal clear on your goals. (Do you REALLY want what they got?!) → Practice gratitude daily. (The most precious gifts in life are FREE. Be grateful for your health, children's laughter, dinner time with family, time with friends, sunshine, rain, etc.) → Focus on your strengths. (Your strengths are what will help you win.) → Celebrate wins. (Yours, as well as other people's.) → Be consistent. (Small, daily actions compounded over time create massive results.) → Build a strong support system. (There will be bad days, and that's for sure!) What else would you add? P.S. Remember... 💗 Embrace your journey. 💗 Smell the roses alone the way. 💗 Celebrate every season.

It's very hard to be on social media and not compare yourself to others. There will always be someone more successful, smarter, wealthier, better looking, faster, thinner, with more contacts and followers and more put together than you! When we compare our lives, careers, bodies, families, trips, children, homes (the list is endless) we often hate how it makes us feel, So why do we do it? Social Media has made it easy and allows you to compare yourself to others 24 hours a day, seven days a week, with just one click. Comparison can also lead to resentment, depression and lower self-esteem. It definitely has damaging affect on the level of happiness and success you will enjoy in your personal and professional life. Football season is wrapping up and I heard a group of fans criticizing how much players were paid. A wise coach once told me "Never resent something you wish was yours!" When others achieve levels of success or income, that only proves it is possible for anyone, including you! My friend Diane took up running marathons later in life. Her goal was to improve her individual time, while she raised money for autism. If she focused on others who were her age and ran faster, she would have lost the joy of running, while raising money for a cause close to her heart! I want to share five tips that have helped me avoid "comparisons!" FIRST: Compete with yourself - Set short and long-term goals and journal your successes. View any obstacles and failures as opportunities to learn. (Remember successful people fail more, because they try to do more) SECOND: Practice gratitude daily by starting your list today. Every night before going to bed, just track three things you are grateful for on your phone. Add to the list every evening, so when you wait up the blessings in your life are front and center. Revisit and read the list often! THIRD: Celebrate other people. When you hear great news about someone else, keep your focus on them, instead of yourself. Create ways to enthusiastically celebrate their great news, while you keep working toward your own accomplishments. FOURTH: Set boundaries on how much time you spend on Social Media. Be aware that Social Media doesn't always reflect reality. (you already know this, but have your really thought about it?) It is not the complete picture of someone's life - it's just the highlight reel. FIFTH: Focus on your strenghts, talents and gifts. Write down what you really like about yourself and elaborate on each point. Think about the positive affect your strenghts, talents and gifts have on the people you love. SIXTH: Remove "noise" from your life. Noise can be your own negative self-talk or the negativity of people around you. When you talk to yourself, say "nice things!" When others tell you what you will or won't achieve - just mentally think "Watch Me!" I want you to be happy, healthy. successful and fulfilled. Life is too short to compare yourself to anyone!

Why You Should Disagree With Teddy Roosevelt's Quote "Comparison is the thief of joy." 👎 Here's why I disagree and how you can reframe comparison to be productive ⬇️ In business, fitness, life, and more, I regularly struggle with comparison. I can recall way too many times where, due to my pride, comparison stole time from me and left me feeling unfoundedly good/bad about myself. At first, I tried to avoid any comparison completely. Eventually, I realized burying my head in the sand was just as unproductive as hyperfixation on how I'm measuring up to others, though. Plus, no matter how hard I tried to eradicate it, comparisons would pop into my head. Here's the technique I use with clients and myself to keep comparison in check ✅ When you're about to start the "comparison game", stop and ask 3 questions: 1️⃣ "Is it productive for me to be comparing myself to this person? Will anything actionable come from this?" 2️⃣ "Did they start in the same place as me? Did they have significant advantages I did not enjoy or vice versa?" 3️⃣ "How am I doing in relation to the goals I set for myself in the past? Have I grown in the last 12 months?" The goal is to reframe thinking to focus on what actually matters. Whether I feel good/bad about who I'm comparing myself to rarely, if ever, matters. 👉 What matters A TON, however, is whether I'm progressing towards goals I set for myself. ❌ Ignore the noise. Stop comparing yourself to others in different circumstances. ✅ Instead, compare yourself to your past and your goals. 🔑 It's not about where you are in relation to others. 🤝 It's about how far you've come in relation to where YOU started. 🤔 How do you fight against the "comparison game"? 💭 Advisors: How do you reframe conversations when clients want to compare themselves to others financially? #Advisors #CFP #FinancialPlanning #FinancialAdvisor #GoodAdvisorsFinishFirst

2023 brought triumphs for some and challenges for many. If you were in the "challenges" group, you may have fallen into the Comparison Trap and the Confidence Gap. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗶𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝗧𝗿𝗮𝗽 prompts us to measure ourselves against others, be it in career achievements, personal milestones, or social media presence. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt, steering us away from progress on our unique journey. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗚𝗮𝗽: Ever felt unqualified for a promotion or hesitant to speak up? Welcome to the Confidence Gap. This mindset makes us underestimate our abilities, limiting our potential and impeding our success. These mindsets sabotage our success by creating unnecessary roadblocks, stifling creativity, and limiting our potential. What can we do about it? 𝗥𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗴𝗻𝗶𝘇𝗲 𝗶𝘁: When your mind starts to go negative, acknowledge that you're falling into the trap/gap. Name it. And remind yourself that they are hazards that can be avoided. 𝗧𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗰𝗸 𝗼𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗴𝘁𝗵𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀. Everyone's journey is unique. Even with a common destination, our starting points are different, as are the routes we take and the vehicles we drive. Use your strengths and achievements to fuel the next leg of your journey. 𝗦𝗵𝗶𝗳𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱𝘀𝗲𝘁...𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗸 𝘁𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳. Negative self-talk can be deafening. Gain control over your inner dialogue by talking to yourself like you would to a friend. Treat negative thoughts as if they're from an annoying neighbor. Don't let your thoughts dictate the narrative. (Read Ethan Kross' book, Chatter, for more on this). 𝗖𝘂𝗹𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗮 𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘄𝘁𝗵 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱𝘀𝗲𝘁. It's invaluable at every stage of your career, whether you're an early career professional or an experienced leader. View challenges (and feedback) as opportunities for learning and growth. (Read Amy Edmondson's book, The Right Kind of Wrong, for more on this.) Finally, believe in your capabilities, take calculated risks, and grant yourself permission to invest in personal development. Make 2024 the year you conquer the Comparison Trap and bridge the Confidence Gap. ******** Looking to enhance your leadership and communication skills? Follow me Soojin Kwon for more tips. Reach out for individual or group coaching (link in comments). #GrowthMindset #LeadershipCoaching #CommunicationsCoaching

This story could majorly change your perspective, especially the last line: My wife and I were at a coffee shop and she was researching a woman's eBook on lashes / eyebrows. The eBook was clean, well thought through and was a top seller. My wife, being in the infancy stages of building her own eBook, was immediately discouraged, as anyone would be. This discouragement lead to the inability to even start. What she was seeing was the end result of years of work, editing and improvements from this other woman. Looking at someone else's growth from years of work when you're just starting can be incredibly overwhelming if you let it consume you. I've dealt with this severely in the beginning stages of Vyper, and still do to this date, seeing brands that have been in the game for years longer than us, but having the expectation that we should be where they are already. What I told my wife was simple, wise words I've learned from mentors: "Mack, she's on Chapter 20. You're on Chapter 1. Don't compare your Chapter 1 to their Chapter 20." Comparison really has a way to put us in paralysis. Take someone else's work or progress as motivation and encouragement while having the mindset that they are on a different path, on a different chapter, in a different stage. But MOST IMPORTANTLY, if your competition is on Chapter 20 and you're on Chapter 1, that doesn't mean you cannot catch up. They may put the book down after Chapter 20. Keep your head down and just keep going. Never put the book down.

How stopping the comparison game accelerated my growth as an entrepreneur (and can do the same for you): When I first started building my coaching business I had a big goal to create a 7-figure online business. Why? Because I saw it as the norm and everywhere I scrolled I saw things like: → Just had a 7-figure launch → Join my 7-figure club And my favorite: → I'm only 16 and I built a 7-figure online business You can see how easy it is to get sucked into the hype. Then I had a staff meeting (with myself 😂) and asked a very important question: "What type of business do YOU want?" I had a moment of clarity and realized I started this business to align with the life I wanted. I didn't want to become a slave to my business. So here are the 5 lessons I learned from the experience: → Authenticity is non-negotiable ↳ Building a business on someone else's dream is like wearing shoes that don't fit; eventually, the discomfort shows, and performance suffers. → Vision clarity is crucial ↳ Knowing what you truly want for your business acts as a compass, steering you through market trends and hype. → Peer pressure is a trap ↳ It's easy to fall into the cycle of comparison, but what works for one may not work for another. Distinguishing your unique offering is key. → Burnout is real ↳ Pursuing a business model that doesn't align with your passion or strengths can lead to exhaustion and loss of motivation. → Flexibility to pivot ↳ It's okay to change course if you find yourself on a path that doesn't feel right. The sooner you realign with your true desires, the better. What's one change you've made to stay true to your entrepreneurial vision? #entrepreneurship #coaching #business #sales #savvymethod ================= Enjoy my posts? Come hang with me every M-TH at 8:30 am CT/9:30 am ET.  With love - Valincia 💚

"The only comparison worth making is to yourself from yesterday" We've all been there. Scrolling through social media, seeing someone's achievement, and feeling a pang of inadequacy. The comparison trap is a constant threat, especially early in our careers: - One person made a killing last year. - Another's a rising star, recognized by Forbes. - It seems like everyone else is winning. It's natural to compare ourselves, but it's a dangerous game. Here's the truth: you're likely comparing your Chapter 1 to someone else's epic finale. They've put in the years, the work, the failures that led to their success. Focus on your own story Instead of getting sucked into the comparison vortex, turn your attention inward. Ask yourself these powerful questions: What knowledge have I gained? Growth thrives on learning. Reflect on the new skills you've acquired, the information you've absorbed, and how they've shaped your perspective. What perspectives have I shifted? Growth often involves evolving your thinking. Acknowledge areas where your views have changed and celebrate the flexibility that allows you to learn and adapt. How have I grown? Growth isn't always a straight line. Take stock of your personal development, whether it's becoming more confident, building better habits, or simply feeling more comfortable in your own skin. What positive impact have I made? Contributing to something bigger is a fulfilling part of growth. Reflect on how you've used your skills and knowledge to make a difference for others. By focusing on these internal questions, you shift your focus from external validation to internal progress. This empowers you to take ownership of your journey and celebrate your unique path to success. Your only competition is yourself Life isn't a race against others. It's about becoming a better version of yourself each day. Focus on what you can control: your effort, your attitude, and your commitment to continuous improvement. Embrace the journey, celebrate your wins (big and small), and learn from your setbacks. By looking inward and focusing on your own growth, you'll find the motivation and fulfillment that comes from steady, sustainable progress. Ready to learn more? Share this post with others and follow me, Addy Osmani, for more insights in the future. Illustrated by Michael J Boorman - definitely worth a follow-up! #motivation #productivity #growth

When I read this quote by Theodore Roosevelt, it shook me to my core 👉 "Comparison is the thief of joy." Yet, in our hyperconnected and competitive world... It's so easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others... Resulting in feeling inadequate or envious. Whatever we're comparing... Achievements... Success... Looks... Relationships... Lifestyles... We risk losing sight of our own strengths... Our own values... And our own goals. We also risk underestimating the challenges or sacrifices others may have faced... Or flaws they may have hidden behind their apparent success or happiness. Comparison can create a vicious cycle of self-doubt, anxiety, and depression... As we constantly measure ourselves against an unrealistic standard... And feel disappointed or guilty when we don't meet it. So... How can we avoid or overcome the negative effects of comparison and cultivate more joy in our lives? Here are some ideas... ✅ Practice gratitude: appreciate all the great things in life you already have. ✅ Set realistic and meaningful goals: Rather than pursuing someone else's idea of success or happiness, clarify what matters most to you and what you can realistically achieve and enjoy. ✅ Limit your exposure to social media and toxic comparison triggers: stop mindless scrolling and be intentional with your presence on social media. ✅ Ask for help: don't be too proud to ask for support from others who can coach you through this if it becomes too overwhelming. Comment below... ➡️ What are your thoughts about this? ➡️ How do you overcome the tendency to fall into unhealthy comparisons?👇