Understanding Emotional Needs

“Let’s celebrate our differences!” — easy to say when you’ve never actually had to WORK through real differences. Here’s the thing: Real differences don’t feel like a celebration. They feel messy, uncomfortable, even threatening. 🧠 Our brains are hardwired to detect difference as potential danger. When someone thinks, works, or communicates differently than we do, our first instinct isn’t to embrace it—it’s to resist it. Recently, I worked with a team trapped in conflict for years. The problem wasn’t competence or commitment. It was cognitive diversity they didn’t know how to handle. 👉 One part of the team was task-focused—eager to get to the point and skip the relational aspects of collaboration. 👉 The other part was relationship-driven—prioritizing emotional connection and dialogue before diving into action. Celebrate their differences? Not likely. 🚫 The task-focused group saw the others as emotionally needy attention-seekers. 🚫 The relationship-driven group saw their counterparts as cold and disengaged. So, what changed everything? Not a shallow celebration of their diversity, but finding their common ground. 🚀 I used my D.U.N.R. Team Methodology to transform their conflict into collaboration: 1️⃣ D – Diversity: we explored their differences without judgment and recognized the strengths in both approaches. 2️⃣ U – Unity: we found their shared purpose—every one of them cared deeply about the team’s success, just in different ways. 3️⃣ N – Norms: we co-created practical norms that guided their interactions and set clear expectations. 4️⃣ R – Rituals: we introduced rituals to honor both styles while reducing friction and fostering collaboration. The real breakthrough? Not pretending their differences were easy, but building bridges through shared values. My honest take: If you’ve truly worked through real differences, you know it’s not about celebrating them—it’s about navigating them with care and intentionality. 💡 Celebrate your common ground first.  That’s how you unlock the power of team diversity. What’s your experience with managing real differences on a team? 🔔 Follow me for more insights on inclusive, high-performing teams. ___________________________________________________ 🌟 If you're new here, hi! :) I’m Susanna. I help companies build an inclusive culture with high-performing and psychologically safe teams.

We can’t logic our way out of emotionally charged conflict. This is where I used to get stuck. I’d reach for the usual tools: Talk it out. Compromise. Solve the problem. But when the stakes are identity, not interests, those tools fall apart. It’s not a case of who’s right. It’s who they are. We’re not just hearing a frustrated colleague. We’re hearing a threat to their values, their dignity, their role in the system. And no spreadsheet, no talking point, no “solution” works until we get this: Conflict doesn’t just live in the disagreement. It lives in the space between. That space is full of unspoken emotion, unconscious fear, invisible power. And if we don’t know how to read that space, and lead in it, we end up negotiating symptoms, not causes. The hardest conflicts I’ve resolved weren’t numbers or timelines. They were about identity. And we can’t trade identity like a contract clause. I needed a different playbook. One that includes: → Emotional intelligence under pressure → Identity safe communication → The ability to shift from “me vs you” to “us vs the problem” That’s not soft work. It’s the sharpest skill most professionals never learn.

“I’m done talking!” “This isn’t going anywhere!” “Why do you always twist my words?” These are the phrases that mark the breaking point in so many conversations. As a psychologist, I’ve seen how difficult conversations can spiral into emotional battlegrounds, leaving frustration and resentment in their wake. But here’s the truth: it doesn’t have to be this way. Conflict feels like a storm - it’s intense, overwhelming, and messy. But with the right tools, that storm can clear. The shot in the arm here is Emotional intelligence. Look, here’s the thing about conflict: it’s rarely about what’s said. It’s about how it’s said and how it’s received. When emotions run high, logic tends to take a backseat. This is where emotional intelligence becomes your greatest tool. Here’s how I coach clients to bring EI into difficult conversations: 🟢Pause before you react. Emotional intelligence starts with self-awareness. Recognize your feelings before you let them dictate your response. Ask yourself, “Why am I feeling this way?” That pause can prevent reactive words you might later regret. 🟢Listen to understand, not to respond. Most people listen to counter or defend. But real resolution begins when you listen to truly understand the other person’s perspective. Ask open-ended questions like, “Can you tell me more about why this matters to you?” 🟢Accept emotions—yours and theirs. Often, it’s not the issue itself but the underlying emotions that fuel conflict. A simple, “I can see this is frustrating for you,” can defuse tension and pave the way for meaningful dialogue. Remember, difficult conversations aren’t meant to be easy, but they don’t have to be destructive. Emotional intelligence transforms conflict from a battle into a bridge, it’s a chance to strengthen relationships, deepen understanding, and build trust. So, the next time you find yourself in the heat of a challenging conversation, remember: it’s not just about what you say - it’s about how you listen, connect, and respond. Because conflict isn’t the end of the story. With the right ways, it’s could be the beginning of resolution. The onus is on YOU! #psychology #mindset #emotions #emotionalintelligence #mentalhealth

I have worked with a CEO who was losing top talent despite hitting all business targets. The diagnosis? All drive, insufficient empathy. People felt like tanks were empty, couldn’t go on anymore. I also coached leaders whose team loved them deeply but consistently missed strategic goals. All empathy, insufficient drive. This pattern reflects what research confirms: exceptional leaders master BOTH empathy and drive - but it's remarkably rare. According to Zenger Folkman's study of 4,000+ leaders: ➤ Drive-focused leaders deliver results but create burnout ➤ Empathy-focused leaders build loyal teams that may miss targets ➤ The elite 15% who master both create sustainable success Here’s the 5 approaches that I developed to balance both: 1️⃣. Weave empathy into your goals by involving your team in planning. They'll feel ownership AND deliver stronger results. 2️⃣. Read each situation carefully. Sometimes your team needs a supportive ear; other times, they need clear direction to cross the finish line. 3️⃣. Ask for honest feedback about how you balance drive and care. Then actually implement changes based on what you hear. 4️⃣. Invest in developing your emotional intelligence alongside your business acumen. The combination is powerful. 5️⃣. Communicate transparently about both goals and challenges. This builds alignment while maintaining genuine connections. Combine these two strengths, and you won’t just lead; you’ll elevate teams beyond what they ever imagined possible. Catherine Catherine Li-Yunxia (Transforming leaders, Moving the world)

I was standing in the billing queue awaiting my turn when a loud throaty voice interrupted the usual weekend bustle in the mall! An angry customer letting out steam (at a very inopportune moment for the outlet, I may say!) Soon I figured out that the customer was kept standing by a salesperson who went on to attend someone else without addressing this customer's concerns. A very common situation that we would have encountered several times. But what transpired after that is not that common. Another salesperson who was handling a different counter saw this and hopped over quickly to this angry customer and spoke to him for a couple of minutes. No arguments. No explanations. Just a series of understanding nods, followed by a quick couple of lines. '𝘚𝘪𝘳, 𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘸𝘢𝘪𝘵 𝘴𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨. 𝘐 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘰𝘯.' '𝘓𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘱𝘶𝘳𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘴𝘦!' Not the manager. Not the department head. Just another employee with a high emotional intelligence. The world of customer service is all about handling people and their emotions. In that world, logic and rationale do exist, but as a supporting cast. The protagonist is always 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲. It helps customer service executives to understand, empathise with, and effectively respond to customers' emotions and needs. Three reasons why you should hire people with high emotional intelligence for customer-facing roles: ☑️ They are 𝗲𝗺𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝗶𝗻 𝗱𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗶𝗰𝘂𝗹𝘁 𝘀𝗶𝘁𝘂𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀. They know what to say, and more importantly what not to say. They make the customer feel heard and valued. ☑️ They are great at 𝗯𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗿𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝘀𝘁 - They put the customer at ease through listening and asking questions, and set the foundation for a long-term relationship. ☑️ They can turn your 𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗿𝘆 𝗰𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝗳𝗮𝗻𝘀 - They are calm and composed in the face of the customer's anger. They know how to diffuse volatile situations and turn a crisis into an opportunity. Prioritize emotional intelligence and communication over other skills, when you hire for client-facing roles. It will be a true game-changer for your business. P.S. If you found this useful, do consider reposting and sharing with your network. ♻️ #customerexperience #customerservice #customercentricity

What truly drives success? Strategy? Hard work? Intelligence? While these elements matter, there’s something far more fundamental, powerful, and often ignored......."emotions". We live in a world that celebrates logic, data, and efficiency. Business schools equip us with frameworks for gaining a competitive edge, mitigating risks, and strategically positioning ourselves in the market. Yet, history proves that the most successful individuals are not just rational strategists, they are deeply emotional beings who know how to harness their emotions as fuel. Many of us have been conditioned to believe that emotions cloud judgment, that decisions should be made with a “cool head.” But emotions are not the enemy of success, they are the driving force behind every meaningful achievement. 1️⃣ Passion - The spark that sustains effort - Every groundbreaking innovation, every disruptive idea, and every revolution has been fueled by passion. Passion is what keeps people working late into the night, iterating ideas, and pushing through obstacles when others would give up. 2️⃣ Resilience - The Emotional Shock Absorber - Failure, setbacks, and rejections are inevitable. But what differentiates those who succeed from those who quit is emotional resilience i.e. the ability to absorb the shock of disappointment, process it, and push forward. Resilience isn’t just about “toughness.” It’s about learning to reframe failure, not as a final judgment, but as a lesson, a redirection, or even a necessity. 3️⃣ Empathy - The hidden superpower of influence - In a world of automation, artificial intelligence, and hyper-productivity, human connection remains the greatest competitive advantage. Leaders who can understand, inspire, and emotionally connect with people are the ones who build movements, not just businesses. 4️⃣ Fear & Doubt - Fear is often seen as an obstacle. Fear tells us where the stakes are high. It signals that something is meaningful. The difference between a successful and an unsuccessful person isn’t the absence of fear, it’s how they respond to it. Doubt can be destructive, but it can also drive self-improvement. Some of the greatest strategists, negotiators, and problem-solvers use doubt to recheck their plans, anticipate risks, and refine their execution. It’s not about eliminating fear or doubt, it’s about using them constructively. 🟣 Success isn’t just about logic or efficiency. It’s about emotional mastery. 🟣 Success isn’t just about what you know or do, it’s about how you feel and how you make others feel. 🟣 Emotions don’t weaken us, they define us. They are the raw material of greatness. When controlled, refined, and aligned with purpose, they become unstoppable forces that shape careers, businesses, and legacies. Do you agree? Have a great week ahead. If you found this insightful, don’t forget to 👍 and 🔄 with your network! 🙏😊 *** #business #inspiration #success #management #leadership

*One emotion over all* Say you are your company CEO. A funky, purple, corporate genie appears to grant you a wish - at your command, you can confer one emotional state on your entire workforce. Every leader, every team member. What would you choose? Energy? Purpose? Happiness? Creativity? It’s Friday evening. I am a young flunky, and B is my scary, hyper-successful boss. “It is absolutely essential”, B warns me sternly, “that you finish this project X task ASAP! I need it first thing Monday.” I groan, there goes my weekend. I slog for two days - skip movies with my friends, skip meals, skip showers (hey, who’s smelling me?). Unkempt, dead tired, but somehow done, I drag myself into office on Monday and wait for the dreaded call. It never comes. The entire day passes, and B has shown no interest in me or this super-urgent project. I am half crying when I get to the flat I share with a colleague. “I had a horrible day”, he tells me morosely. HE had a terrible day?! Wait till I tell him my story! “What happened?”, I ask. “B yelled at me in front of everyone today. For 15 minutes! For ‘wasting my time’ on project X over other priorities!” B was an extremely talented professional. But in one day - two team members were bereft, their confidence shaken, deep resentments seeded, conflicting messages sent, and (at least) one major bitching session ensued. So much emotional scarring! So unnecessary. To spread most emotional states all across your company, you are indeed going to need a purple genie. You are unlikely to have a team where everyone is creative, or everyone has positive energy … or everyone is content with their performance Rating. But there is in fact one state that is entirely in your control as the boss. To me, the most important of all emotional states in my team - Psychological Safety. Do your employees feel psychologically ‘safe’ at the workplace? Do they feel like genuine contributing members of a team? Do they know what roles they play? Feel valued for playing those roles? Does everyone have necessary context to bring their best to work? Do people speak up when they disagree, or when they have a new idea? (Or are they scared the boss is going to chew their head off?) Does the boss ever express vulnerability or doubt in front of the team? Or does (s)he always know everything and is always right? Is it ok for the team to take chances, maybe make mistakes, or will one mistake be your end? Is the leader like MS Dhoni, in short, or like B? As a boss, creating an environment of psychological safety isn’t that hard - just be a good human being! Treat people with respect. Openly share company context. Ask questions, listen to everyone’s answers. Encourage divergent ideas. Appreciate good work generously. Use mistakes as learning moments, not beating sticks. Admit your own mistakes. Don’t humiliate people publicly. Basically: DON’T. BE. AN. A-HOLE. It’s not that hard, bosses. And you don’t need a purple genie to get this wish.

Emotional Intelligence and Sales Success In my journey through sales, I've learned that while product expertise is essential, emotional intelligence truly sets top performers apart. The ability to connect with clients on a deeper level often outweighs the intricacies of the product itself. One crucial aspect is Emotional Self-Awareness. I believe that recognizing my emotional responses, especially to setbacks, allows me to manage my energy more effectively. Acknowledging the feeling quickly instead of dwelling on rejection helps me recalibrate and maintain a positive outlook, ultimately leading to better decision-making in subsequent interactions. Then there's Empathy. For me, this goes beyond simply identifying stated needs. It's about actively listening and understanding my clients' unspoken concerns and underlying emotions. This deeper understanding fosters trust that no standard sales pitch can achieve, enabling me to address their true pain points effectively. Authenticity has also proven invaluable. I've built stronger rapport with clients by communicating genuinely and transparently without relying on industry jargon. They appreciate clear, honest communication, which fosters a more collaborative and trusting environment. The ability to integrate logic with emotions, or Emotional Reasoning, has refined my approach to client interactions. I strive to understand the business needs and the personal stakes involved for the client. This nuanced perspective allows me to tailor my solutions and build their confidence, turning potential challenges into opportunities for stronger partnerships. Self-Management is crucial for managing my emotions and staying motivated, even when facing repeated "no's. " Viewing rejections as learning opportunities rather than personal failures fuels my resilience and allows me to maintain focus and adapt to different client situations with continued positivity. Finally, Positive Influence is about more than just closing a deal. It's about inspiring confidence and building consensus. By understanding different perspectives and addressing concerns with Empathy and clarity, I've turned potential skeptics into strong advocates, both within client organizations and my own. Ultimately, emotional intelligence isn't a supplementary skill in sales; it's the core driver of lasting success. It's about building genuine connections, fostering trust, and understanding the human element that underpins every transaction. Cultivating these competencies has been as vital as any product training or sales technique – it's the real competitive edge. #Sales #EmotionalIntelligence #ClientRelationships

Giving hard feedback is a challenge I've faced many times as a leader. One particular instance that stands out involved a team member I respected deeply but who had recently begun missing key deadlines. I knew I had to address it, yet I wanted to do so in a way that preserved their motivation and confidence. This experience taught me the importance of careful preparation and a thoughtful approach when delivering tough feedback. First, I make sure I'm clear about the specific feedback I want to provide. Second, I understand that hard feedback should always be delivered in private, and both the recipient and I should be in a calm and receptive state of mind. When sharing feedback, I focus on specific incidents and use "I" statements to describe my observations. For example, I might say, “I noticed you handling this situation differently than usual. I'd like to discuss how we can approach it more effectively.” I also emphasize the importance of this feedback for the person's growth and development. We all need feedback to grow. Without it, organizations can develop unhealthy habits, such as avoiding conflict or only giving positive feedback. This can lead to unresolved issues that damage morale and hinder professional development. 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐃𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐅𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤: ➝ 𝐔𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐨𝐮𝐫-𝐒𝐭𝐞𝐩 𝐒𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐞: Start with specific examples, share your feelings, explain the consequences, and state your expectations. ➝ 𝐅𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐁𝐞𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐫, 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫: Separate the individual from their actions to avoid defensiveness. ➝ 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐚 𝐒𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐄𝐧𝐯𝐢𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭: Conduct feedback conversations in private and ensure confidentiality. ➝ 𝐁𝐞 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐓𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐁𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐋𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞: Maintain a calm tone and avoid judgmental language. It’s also important to remember that hard feedback doesn’t have to be all negative. I always try to highlight the positive aspects of the person’s work while addressing areas for improvement. My goal is to deliver the feedback in a way that is constructive and encourages growth. What about you? How do you handle delivering tough feedback? Any strategies you find helpful? #feedback #mindfulness #peoplemangement #leadership #LeadwithRajeev

🚀 𝗘𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗜𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗜𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗦𝗼𝗳𝘁 – 𝗜𝘁’𝘀 𝗘𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗮𝗹. 𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲’𝘀 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗠𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗜𝘁. In the world of leadership and negotiation, EQ isn’t a “nice-to-have”—it’s the bridge between conflict and collaboration. After years of working across cultures and boardrooms, here’s what I’ve learned about sharpening this skill: 1️⃣ Pause > React When tensions rise, silence is your ally. A 3-second pause before responding diffuses defensiveness and lets logic override emotion. My simple hack: “Let me think about that” buys time and respect. 2️⃣ Listen to Understand, Not to Reply This is a tough one. I personally fail at least in 90% of the cases in following my own advice. Most “listening” is just waiting for a turn to speak. Ask one clarifying question before sharing your perspective. Example: “What’s the biggest concern behind this?” 🎯 3️⃣ Feedback = Growth Accelerator Don’t just ask IF you can improve – ask HOW. Try: “What’s one behavior I could adjust to make our collaboration or interaction more effective?” Brutal honesty hurts sometimes, but it’s how leaders evolve. 4️⃣ Empathy ≠ Agreement You can validate feelings without endorsing viewpoints. Phrases like “I see why this matters to you” build trust before aligning (or redirecting) priorities. This is one of the most effective hacks because it turns the other side into a more receptive, open mode. 5️⃣ Stress Sabotages EQ When overwhelmed, even the best leaders default to autopilot. Create a 2-minute reset ritual: deep breathing, a walk around the block, or jotting down three priorities. There is a reason why breathing coaches exist. It is the most effective way to calm down. Scientifically proven! 𝗠𝘆 𝗧𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗔𝘄𝗮𝘆: EQ is the difference between a TRANSACTIONAL interaction and a TRANSFORMATIONAL one. Whether negotiating a deal or resolving team friction, or leading your team members, it’s the one skill that turns friction into momentum. 💡 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗧𝗮𝗸𝗲: How do you cultivate emotional intelligence in high-stakes moments? Share a lesson that’s shaped your approach. ”𝗣𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗮𝗶𝗱, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆’𝗹𝗹 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗺𝗮𝗱𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹.” – 𝗠𝗮𝘆𝗮 𝗔𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗹𝗼𝘂 #Empathy #Leadership #Negotiation #EQ #Collaboration