How to Navigate Gender Role Stereotypes

Have you ever been told you are too quiet? Maybe you don’t speak up enough so, “people worry about your leadership skills.” Or, you don’t advocate enough for yourself so, “you aren’t taking control of your career like a natural born leader.” If so, this article is for you. Maybe you’ve received feedback that there is concern over your analytical skills and “quant chops.” Or, there is some general, yet vague, feedback that leadership worries, “you lack that killer instinct.” Or, maybe it’s the opposite and you are “too bossy” or “too opinionated.” Have you heard any of these things?  I have over my career. Instead of letting them control my path, I got upset, then angry, then curious. I decided that none of these descriptions were really a good read on me, or my leadership potential, and I decided to change the perception. You can too. I’ve interviewed hundreds of women in senior leadership over the years and one thing is clear: we’re navigating a constant push and pull. Be strong, but not too strong. Be likable, but not too soft. Show your ambition, but don’t make anyone uncomfortable. Women aren’t just doing the job, they’re doing the extra work of managing how they’re perceived while they’re doing the job. We wrote this piece for HBR because it’s important for women to know how to not only subvert stereotypes and shape how others see them, but to do it without losing themselves in the process. Too many of us think there is nothing we can do when we hear feedback that doesn’t feel quite right. Sometimes, there are actions we can take. I love this piece so much because it says we don’t have to be victim to the stories about us or around us, we can do something about it.   1️⃣ Craft a counternarrative – Instead of internalizing biased feedback, reshape how people see you by aligning your strengths with what the organization values (on your terms!). 2️⃣ Use positive association – Enthusiasm and future-focused language can subtly shift others’ assumptions  and build trust. 3️⃣ Turn feedback into power – Don’t immediately accept or reject it, investigate it. Use it to understand what success looks like in your environment, and then find authentic ways to express that in your own leadership style. So if you’ve ever felt like your success depends not just on what you do, but how you’re seen…you’re not imagining it. Especially in times of economic uncertainty and shifting priorities, it becomes even more pronounced. And while there are no one-size-fits-all strategies, when women take control of their story, they open doors for themselves AND others. Let’s stop contorting ourselves to fit outdated models. We can rewrite the models themselves. Let me know what you think. https://lnkd.in/gcCSE7XW Colleen Ammerman Harvard Business Review Lakshmi Ramarajan Lisa Sun

Would you believe me if I told you that around half of the women in your team are reluctant to raise problems, concerned that this will impact their leader's perception of them? Our Three Barriers research found that women are very cautious about raising issues, negativity or even raising concerns due to the belief that this can cause repercussions for their career progression. In my line of work and research, I am very aware of the gendered expectations and behaviours that women will adopt within a workplace and how there is a narrow acceptable operating range of behaviours available to women. Too assertive and you're aggressive. Too warm and you're not decisive enough. Too confident and you're arrogant. But nearly half of women actually withholding issues in their role due to these fears, that's startling. What can organisations do? 🔶 You can create a a culture of psychological safety to enable employees to speak up. Leaders role modelling vulnerability themselves, and responding positively when others display vulnerability, helps to show that it is safe. 🔶 You can encourage allyship so that issues raised are supported by others. Equip employees at all levels to demonstrate allyship. 🔶 You can counteract gender biases by changing processes and systems. Audit your talent procesess, frameworks and cycles for biases and stereotypes and counteract them. This will also helo to nudge behavioural change at scale. #EDI #GenderEquity #ThreeBarriers

I am (not) your mother, Luke.   Or your sister. Or girlfriend. Or your wife.   I am your boss.   And yet, as a female leader, I often found that my team members unconsciously placed me in a caregiving role. Which triggered in me a need to nurture them, which undermined my authority, and was no good for any of us.   I’m not alone in this. Many of the women leaders I work with in my role as mentor say the same thing. That when they have to make tough decisions, they get reactions that their male equivalents simply don’t have to face.   👩👦 The ‘mother’ role. You’re expected to be nurturing, to provide emotional support and protection. And any criticism may be taken as harsh, like being told off by mummy. 👩 The ‘sister’ role: You’re expected to be friendly, collaborative and fun. Assertiveness can be misread as aggression. 👰♀️ The ‘girlfriend / wife’ role: You’re expected to take on emotional labour, be a supportive ear, or even hand conflict in a soothing manner. These roles are a trap for women in business, where they feel that they have to balance warmth with authority, competence with compassion. And it’s exhausting!   The struggle is real ❌ Women may struggle to progress if they don’t conform to caregiving expectations ❌ Feedback from women leaders is more likely to be taken personally, rather than as professional guidance ❌ Women leaders may try to do it all, fulfilling both emotional and professional expectations – leading to burnout   To avoid this trap, women often try to take on what they perceive as a male archetype – becoming cold and harsh. But that’s not the best way forward. The answer is authenticity. How to be just you ✅ Educate your team and yourself about these biases – knowing about them is the first step to avoiding them ✅ Set boundaries – be clear about professional expectations versus personal involvement ✅ Communicate honestly – don’t feel you have to soften your message, be direct and clear ✅ Support other women – advocate for structures that allow women to lead without having to take on caregiving expectations. It’s time women stopped trying to be everything to everyone and focused on being just the very best version of themselves.   What about you? Are you a female leader who finds herself being put in these boxes? Are you a man working with women who expects them to be the caregivers? Let me know! ⬇️

"Can she really be a leader if she’s acting so … girly?" 💄 The question stopped me in my tracks. It came up during a recent 1-1 coaching session with a male executive. It wasn’t meant to offend — it was an honest observation. But it revealed a much deeper issue about how we view leadership and the narrow expectations we place on women in those roles.  The executive shared his struggle to reconcile this team member’s strong leadership aspirations with behaviors he perceived as “girly.” That word — so loaded with societal biases 🌶️ — became the gateway to an important conversation about gender, stereotypes, and leadership.  Through our discussion, a few key insights surfaced:  🧩🌀 Leadership isn’t about fitting a mold: True leadership combines a spectrum of qualities. Assertiveness and decisiveness are just as important as empathy and collaboration. These traits aren’t “masculine” or “feminine” — they’re human. Their value lies in how they’re applied.  ⚡️🧠 Bias influences how we see behavior: The term “girly” often reflects our own unconscious expectations rather than the individual’s ability. Are we unfairly expecting women to embody “masculine” traits? Is "acting like a man" needed to be seen as a credible leader? 👩🏻🎤🧑🏻🎤 Supporting authenticity over conformity: The executive began to recognize the importance of supporting his team member’s authentic leadership style rather than pressuring her to conform to outdated archetypes.  This conversation reinforced a crucial truth: the problem isn’t women’s behavior. It’s the unrealistic expectations we place on them. When we judge leaders by narrow stereotypes, we limit not only their growth but also the potential of our teams. But transformation takes time and reflection. The seed is often planted in trainings, but it’s in the trusted, reflective, and safer space of 1-1 coaching where these biases and assumptions can be safely explored. As this executive began to shift his perceptions and actions, it reminded me: Leaders, especially those in positions of influence, have the power to challenge biases and foster environments where the courage to embrace authenticity breaks through the crust of stereotypes. What assumptions are you holding about what leadership “should” look like? Are they serving you — or holding your team back?  

"I'm in the hospital". Was my reply when my boss asked me where I was & why I was calling at 8 am. “The baby is about to arrive,” I continued, with a mix of nervousness and excitement in my voice. "What are you doing on the phone? Keep the phone right now and focus on your job." he said in his usual brusque manner. My job at that moment- bringing my first born into the world! 😄 Yes, I was selling up until the day my daughter was born and went back to work within 3 months to take over my new role as Branch Head of a brand new branch. But in that moment, my focus was on the incredible task of bringing a new life into the world.   Looking back, I can’t help but reflect on the persistent myths surrounding women in sales. Here's the truth: ❌ MYTH: Women can't balance family and close sales as effectively as men. ✅ FACT: Women not only juggle multiple roles but also have an 8% higher closure rate than men. ❌ MYTH: Women in sales are compensated fairly compared to their male counterparts. ✅ FACT: Despite achieving and often exceeding targets, women in sales receive 21% LESS PAY than men. ❌ MYTH: Women are not suited for leadership roles in sales. ✅ FACT: Women led teams have a 3% higher quota attainment rate than those led by men. Leadership knows no gender. ❌ MYTH: Women are too "soft" to succeed in the aggressive world of sales. ✅ FACT: The best salespeople, regardless of gender, lead with empathy and understanding—qualities that many women naturally excel in. ❌ MYTH: Gender diversity in sales is a token gesture. ✅ FACT: It's a strategic advantage. Companies with greater gender diversity are 15% more likely to outperform their peers financially. I embraced both motherhood and my career. We often underestimate the strength and resilience that women bring to every challenge they face. Let's dispel these outdated notions and recognise the true value of diversity and skill in every field. What's your story of juggling priorities and challenging stereotypes? Do share your thoughts and experiences in the comments. Let's bust these myths together and champion a future where every role, be it in the boardroom or the delivery room, is valued and respected. #genderdiversity #genderequality #women #womeninsales #motherhood #mythsvsfacts

I’ve got 5 ways you can elevate our organizations out of toxic, outdated gender stereotypes. For years, I navigated professional spaces where women in leadership were subtly, or not so subtly, told to stay in their place. Too often, women who take charge (especially in the workplace) are ridiculed and diminished. It’s a mentality that undercuts the capabilities of female leaders by framing assertiveness as something unnatural for women. Even though we’ve made progress, we continue to allow these stereotypes to dictate our organizations today. How many talented women hold back from leading, contributing, and shaping the future of their companies simply to avoid being labeled as "too bossy" or "too controlling"? These harmful narratives don’t just limit women—they limit the growth of the entire organization. Here’s how we can reshape these outdated narratives: 1. Recognize leadership, not gender, in assessing authority and decision-making abilities. 2. Challenge sexist language and eliminate phrases like "wearing the pants" that reinforce harmful stereotypes. 3. Empower women to lead authentically, ensuring their voices are heard and valued in executive decision-making. 4. Foster a culture of inclusion, where leadership is defined by capability and vision, not by traditional gender roles. 5. Actively support diverse leadership teams, creating environments where different perspectives fuel innovation and growth. Breaking free from these gendered stereotypes isn’t just a moral imperative—it’s a strategic advantage. Diverse leadership teams perform better, innovate more, and foster inclusive company cultures that attract and retain top talent.

I speak with a lot of people about gender equality. Sometimes people ask if “things are better for …. women who’ve made it to the top, the next-generation women who grew up thinking they could be anything, women with elite credentials, etc." Unfortunately, research mostly shows that the answer is “no”--gender inequality is at play at every level of organizational life, from early career to the C-suite. For example, I listened to a very interesting webinar hosted by Russell Reynolds Associates about their research study: Time to Tell a Different Story. They used media as a proxy for public sentiments about CEOs and tracked 20,000 news articles, covering almost 750 CEOs across FTSE 100, S&P 500, and Euronext 100 companies. What they discovered is that, even at the CEO level, patterns of language describing and telling the story of women differs from those for men. Here is one pattern from their study: The media tend to use very different adjectives to describe women CEOs versus their male equivalents. Based on the proportion of mentions across media, men were twice as likely to be described as ‘innovators,’ whereas women were 72% more likely to be described as ‘inspirational.’   Research at the Stanford VMware Women's Leadership Innovation Lab also showed gendered, and often disadvantaging, language patterns in performance reviews. (https://lnkd.in/gG2zy8vX) So, it’s not just the media. These patterns reflect societal norms and can lead to disparate outcomes for strong performing women. What can you do? First, you can catch gendered language patterns. Here are a few: 1️⃣ Using more people-oriented skills for women and more task-oriented for men (see RRA research) 2️⃣ Using more doubt-casting language, such as “seems to” or “managed to”. For example, instead of saying “They produced outstanding results” using “They seemed to produce outstanding results. (Do a doubt-check. See this post I wrote: https://lnkd.in/g_655tc2) 3️⃣ Using or not using stand-out language. Notice if your industry or role has some terms that indicate stand-out impact. Then notice if you only use those words to describe certain kinds of people. 💡 🌟 Once you catch these patterns, then you can find ways to remove doubt, equally use task-oriented and people-oriented descriptors and try stand-out language for all top performers. While language often reflects societal norms and stereotypes, a strategic use of language can help set the conditions for folks to succeed. https://lnkd.in/gEJJRsXS #words #language #performancemanagement #media

A concept that came up in coaching yesterday was the double-bind. I've spoken previously about the glass cliff, the glass ceiling, and similar terms that are helpful in giving language to inequities faced by women & women of colour in the workplace. As someone who has been labelled as 'combative' by a previous manager, it's exhausting & frustrating AF trying to navigate layers of unspoken expectations and biases while striving to remain true to oneself and succeed professionally. The double bind for women of colour is where they encounter conflicting demands or expectations that place them in a no-win situation. Here are some ways this shows up - 🎤 Assertiveness vs. Likability: there is a risk of being perceived as aggressive or abrasive. This can sometimes lead to unfair backlash that other colleagues may not face. On the other hand, if one chooses to be more reserved to avoid negative perceptions, they may seem to struggle showcasing their leadership qualities. 🎤 Professionalism vs. Authenticity: Bringing your 'whole selves' to work and highlighting cultural identities is encouraged, but this can sometimes result in facing microaggressions, tokenism or feeling like one doesn't quite fit in with the company's culture. On the flip side, downplaying cultural identity to fit in may leave them feeling disconnected and inauthentic, impacting their job satisfaction and performance. 🎤 Competence vs. Approachability: In a predominantly white or male-dominated work environment, the pressure to prove competence while also being approachable can be overwhelming. While showcasing high competence is essential, it can inadvertently intimidate colleagues (aka tall poppy syndrome) and lead to social isolation. On the other hand, focusing on being approachable and accommodating may undervalue their competence, causing them to miss out on career opportunities. 🎤 Diversity Advocate vs. Professional Identity: women of color are often expected to take on this role (often unpaid) in the workplace. This can sometimes overshadow their professional skills and career aspirations. Striking a balance between advocating for diversity and focusing on their career path can be a difficult task, as they may face criticism for not fully embracing the role. 🎤 Visibility vs. Scrutiny: The yardstick is not the same for women in leadership! While being visible is important for serving as role models, it can also subject them to higher levels of scrutiny and criticism compared to their peers. This increased scrutiny may lead them to avoid visibility, resulting in missed opportunities for career advancement. Have you faced similar experiences? How did you navigate the same? #GenderEquality #Inclusion #genderEquity #InclusionAtWork #InclusiveWorkplaces #DoubleBind #WomenOfColour

“You’re being so bossy.” I can’t tell you the amount of times my partners, many of whom were men, would tell me this after a meeting or presentation. Yet, I’d take the feedback to heart. I’d shrink myself down and quiet my voice. I bet you can guess what they said next. “You’re too … nice.” Sadly, this double standard hasn’t improved much since my days waffling between being labeled a “dragon lady” or a pushover. In my coaching practice, my clients who are women of color bring this issue up constantly. It’s a fine balancing point. Here’s my advice, for both women and men: 📣 Couple assertive body language with collaborative language. My favorite combo is the Power Pose (think Wonder Woman) while speaking clearly, and succinctly in an open, inviting way. 📣 Drop qualifiers (“maybe,” “probably,” “I think”) and permission-seeking (“excuse me,” “sorry,” “may I”) when stating a point of view or making a request. 📣 Add framing statements to prepare people for assertiveness. Here’s an example: “I’m going to express my views very directly because it’s important for me to be clear where I stand.” Ready to dig deeper into these topics? Join my email newsletter for more leadership insights. https://lnkd.in/ePKX2VC8 

Thank you to The Advisor Media Network for inviting me on The Advisor podcast to speak about the benefits of women-centered coaching (versus traditional coaching) methodologies. The reality is, one-size-fits-all coaching frameworks inadvertently apply male-centric models of success and leadership and typically focus on goal achievement and performance metrics. While these factors are important, they don't necessarily address systemic barriers and biases or account for the unique challenges women face in their personal and professional journeys. In this podcast, I share insights on the importance of not only recognizing the gender-based societal expectations and pressures placed on women, but also integrating feminine strengths like connection, collaboration, and intuition to address internal barriers like self-doubt, perfectionism, and imposter syndrome. Podcast host Lisa Urbanski and I discuss how women-centered coaching helps us to reflect on and honor our unique developmental patterns and needs. Through this approach, we develop our leadership skills by finding styles that align with our values rather than conforming to traditional masculine models. We also learn to navigate gender dynamics in predominantly male environments by using practical strategies to manage bias and stereotypes. When we work within our unique context and create a space where gender-specific challenges are validated, NOT minimized, we define success on our own terms and integrate career advancement with personal well-being and our relationships. The best part? This coaching approach helps women achieve self-actualization and a transformation that results in thriving in their careers and feeling fulfilled in life. Have a listen and learn more about how women are building their confidence and creating irreversible changes in their mindset and actions. https://lnkd.in/eDemsn3e Stacey Chillemi #WomenInLeadership #CoachingForWomen #ProfessionalDevelopment #FemininePower