Building Influence as a Woman in Mid-Career Tech

Career advice I'd give other women in tech? I get this question a lot, typically behind the scenes. Here's what none of you want to hear… It's still a boys' club. Misogyny is thriving. Women are called "hysterical" when they're calm. Tech bros still act based on emotion and rarely from logic, and nobody cares. Don't believe me? At a client offsite, I shared that we'd hit all targets and beat their EOY gross margin goal in one quarter. The CRO couldn't keep up. He picked on me and derailed the mtg. The male CEO stood up, slammed his hands on the table and screamed, "GODDAMNIT DEVIN!" and accused *me* antagonizing and derailing the meeting. I was trying to DE-escalate. The 3 other execs and EOS facilitator we hired confirmed. CEO apologized days later after they all complained. I've done this for 15+ years as a marketer, CEO, and now growth advisor. The game hasn't changed. But the way you play it can. Here are 4 things I learned about building authority when the system isn't designed to hand it to you: 𝟭. 𝗔𝘀𝗸 𝗲𝘅𝗲𝗰𝘀 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗼𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗿𝘀 I got called "too aggressive" after saying three sentences once. No proof. Just fairytales. So I started asking questions: Examples of behavior, specific language, what they considered “non aggressive.” Curiosity drove the shot callers crazy. They couldn't back it up. Establish facts while they try to rewrite history. 𝟮. 𝗕𝗲 𝗰𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗷𝘂𝗱𝗴𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗹. Judging isn't strategic. Curiosity is. Understand what drives people, even the difficult ones. You'll have more leverage building alliances than standing on your soapbox. 𝟯. 𝗦𝘁𝗼𝗽 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗶𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 - 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗱𝗼 𝗶𝘁 Ship first. Explain later (maybe). I used to write perfect decks that my CEO never read. Then I began testing ideas without asking And sharing the results. "We tried this and conversion jumped 40%." That sentence built more credibility than any deck. If your boss gets upset, socialize your success even more. Results talk louder than permission. 𝟰. 𝗦𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗸 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘂𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿. For years I presented engagement metrics. Executives didn't care. Then I reframed everything: "This generated $500K in pipeline." "Not fixing this costs $50K a month." Same work. Different language. Make your impact so obvious they can't ignore it. The game is rigged. You do have to work harder. And, no, it's not fair. But you can still win. Just stop playing along Remember what industry you're in: beep-boop-bop and "Uber for..." ideas We're not saving lives. Most of the people above you aren't that important. And they don't hold the keys to your future. YOU do. I've been fired multiple times. I've had hate campaigns launched against me on Glassdoor. A bunch of people don't like me. Guess what? I'm doing great! YOU ARE TOO ❤️ I promise! Even when it doesn't feel like it.

In tech leadership, especially as women, there's a stubborn myth that if we simply work hard enough, someone will eventually recognize our efforts and "reward" us with the promotion or opportunity we deserve. Let me be clear: no one is coming to hand you your opportunities—it's up to you to claim your space. The most successful women in tech don’t wait for permission or formal invitations. They confidently step forward, unapologetically own their achievements, and actively create opportunities for visibility. If you want to advance your career, here’s how to stop waiting and start owning your seat at the table: 1. Document your wins: Keep a running list of your achievements—problems solved, measurable impact, and meaningful contributions. This is more than a brag sheet; it’s your toolkit for advocating powerfully when opportunities arise. 2. Speak in statements, not questions: Notice how often you phrase your ideas tentatively. Replace phrases like “I think maybe...” with confident statements: "The data shows this approach will boost our conversion rates by 15%." 3. Create your own platforms: Don’t wait for someone else’s invitation. Launch your blog, organize internal knowledge-sharing sessions, or propose that speaking engagement or panel discussion. Visibility isn’t granted—it’s claimed. Taking up space isn't about ego; it's about ensuring diverse, important perspectives (like yours) are represented in key industry conversations. When you advocate confidently for yourself, you pave the way for those following behind you. Ask yourself this: Where have you been waiting for permission instead of boldly claiming your space? What small but powerful step can you take this week to change that? Have a lovely weekend! #WomenInTech #FutureOfWork #5xminority

The hard truth about ambition and reaching the pinnacle of your career? Access always matters more than equality. Every boardroom, term sheet, and partnership runs on a single invisible currency: influence. Algorithms may rank the noise, but it’s still human trust that seals or sinks the deal. Here's what still matters: → Who you know → How you make them feel → How much they trust you Learning to cultivate influence has protected my sanity—and my career—more than any pitch deck tweak ever could. I've lost count of the times bias tried to write my story for me—whether it was my gender, my faith, my skin color, or my socioeconomic background. Outrage felt righteous, but useless. So I started playing a longer game: → 𝗠𝗮𝗽 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗶𝗻. Before any meeting, I identify not just the decision-maker but the quiet consiglières who shape their view. → 𝗜𝗻𝘃𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗶𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗮 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱. Cultivating genuine curiosity in someone else is both fun and helps things like a warm intro land 5× better. → "𝗞𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗮𝗿𝗺𝘀 𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴" There's an Urdu phrase about this—the folks whose influence is vast because they know how to be in many rooms. Social capital compounds when you're the bridge across different networks. Doors that once felt like Mission Impossible now open with a single knock, letting people see me on my own terms; some call that contrived, but it’s simply strategic—by building the conditions I need, I sidestep conflict and show up as who I am, not who others assume I should be. Takeaway: Influence isn't a dirty word. Think of it as compound interest on credibility and authenticity.

A senior woman leader told me this recently: “I’m not even chasing the next role anymore. I just want to stop feeling like I’m disappearing.” And I knew exactly what she meant... Because at this level, disappearing doesn’t just look like being excluded from meetings. ↳ It looks like being in the meeting, and still not being heard. ↳ It looks like having a seat at the table, but no weight behind your voice. ↳ It looks like your value being recognized… but not remembered. And it’s not because you’re not performing. It’s because no one teaches you how to manage perception; once performance is no longer the differentiator. She wasn’t struggling with the work.  She was struggling with being seen as a leader. So we focused on what actually shifts perception from operational to executive: 1. She stopped summarizing what had been done and started speaking to what the business would need next. And people start listening when they hear strategy, not status. 2. She identified the enterprise conversations she was missing and found intentional ways to contribute before being invited. Because influence isn’t earned by staying in your lane. It’s built by creating clarity across lanes. 3. She practiced saying the uncomfortable thing not to provoke, but to elevate. Because when your insights are anchored in pattern recognition and business risk, your voice stops blending in. It starts setting the tone. This wasn’t just about being more visible. It was about being visible in the right ways to the right people for the right reasons. Because leadership at this level isn’t just what you do. It’s what people remember you for. So if your value isn’t sticking: Maybe it’s how you’re narrating your leadership in the room. #womenintech #womenleaders #leadershipdevelopment #womeninleadership #careergrowth

🎯Mid-career is not a crisis. It’s a calling. I remember the exact moment it hit me. I had years of experience, a strong track record, and still felt... stuck. It just wasn’t happening. That moment was humbling. But also powerful. Because it pushed me to stop following the path others laid out—and start designing my own. As a Career Coach, I work with mid-career professionals who feel exactly how I once did: ➡ Experienced, but not visible ➡ Hardworking, but not fulfilled ➡ Accomplished, but overlooked Here’s what I’ve learned about creating growth and impact at this stage: 1️⃣Redefine Your Value Narrative ↳You’re not just doing tasks—you’re driving outcomes. ↳Learn how to communicate that clearly and confidently. 2️⃣Build Strategic Visibility ↳Your work won’t speak for itself. ↳You need to be intentional about being seen and heard in the right rooms—online and offline. 3️⃣Invest in Power Skills ↳Mid-career is where technical skills meet leadership. ↳Communication, presence, and influence are what unlock your next level. If you’re at a crossroads in your career, know this: You’re not starting over. You’re starting from experience. The next step? Make it strategic. DM me, and let’s explore what’s possible. Follow for more.