Professionalism in Emotional Scenarios

𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗨𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝗣𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝗖𝗮𝗻 𝗠𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗼𝗿 𝗕𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗸 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗥𝗲𝗽𝘂𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 A tight deadline. A demanding client. A last-minute change that turns your work upside down. We’ve all been there. Stressful situations at work are unavoidable. But how you handle them? That’s where real professionalism shines. I’ve seen two types of responses: 🚩 Person A: Panics, gets defensive, blames external factors. ✅ Person B: Stays composed, finds solutions, keeps communication clear. Guess who earns more trust, credibility, and respect? Here’s what I’ve learned about maintaining professionalism under stress: 🔹 1. Pause Before Reacting When things go wrong, our first instinct is to react instantly. Instead, take 10 seconds to process the situation before responding. Your tone, body language, and words matter more than you think. 🔹 2. Control What You CAN You can’t control last-minute client demands or an overflowing inbox, but you can control: ✔ Your response time ✔ The way you communicate ✔ Your ability to prioritize and delegate 🔹 3. Keep Your Emotions in Check (Even When Others Don’t) If a colleague or client is frustrated, demanding, or even rude, don’t mirror their energy. Stay calm. Stay professional. Nothing diffuses tension like a composed response. 🔹 4. Focus on Solutions, Not the Problem Instead of saying: 🚫 “This isn’t possible. We don’t have enough time.” Try: ✅ “Given the deadline, here’s what we CAN do and how we can adjust.” 🔹 5. Your Reputation = How You Handle Tough Moments People don’t just remember your work—they remember how you made them feel in stressful moments. A calm, professional attitude builds trust and opens doors to bigger opportunities. At the end of the day, professionalism isn’t just about doing great work—it’s about how you handle the tough parts too. #Professionalism #CareerGrowth #Leadership

For the longest time, leaving all emotions at the door when coming to work was the norm. (it was considered professional) Then, it became trendy to bring our “whole selves” to work. (I’m still figuring out what that exactly means) But one thing that shouldn't be a fad is emotional intelligence. To be better leaders, we need → self-awareness → situational awareness → authenticity How do we balance authenticity with professionalism when expressing emotions? Susan David offers golden insights in her book, "Emotional Agility." Here are the top 3 strategies from her book on managing emotions: 1. 𝗘𝗺𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝗔𝗹𝗹 𝗘𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗪𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗝𝘂𝗱𝗴𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁    Recognize and accept all emotions, even the difficult ones, without labeling them as "good" or "bad." Why it matters: • Enhances self-awareness • Creates a more authentic and psychologically safe work environment • Prevents emotional suppression, reducing amplified negative feelings Benefits: • Increased creativity • Open communication • Improved mental well-being 2. 𝗔𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗻 𝗔𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗖𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗩𝗮𝗹𝘂𝗲𝘀 Make decisions based on your core values, not just emotions or external pressures. Why it matters: • Helps maintain focus on long-term goals • Increases resilience in the face of challenges • Provides a consistent framework for decision-making Benefits: • Strong organizational culture • Value-driven approach 3. 𝗣𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 "𝗧𝗶𝗻𝘆 𝗧𝘄𝗲𝗮𝗸𝘀" 𝗣𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗶𝗽𝗹𝗲 Focus on making small, intentional changes that compound over time to create significant positive outcomes. Why it matters: • Makes change manageable • Allows for continuous improvement • Builds confidence through achievable progress   Balancing authenticity with professionalism while expressing emotions can be challenging. Here are the top 5 strategies to help: 1. Cultivate Emotional Intelligence • Understand and manage your own emotions • Recognize and influence the emotions of others • Use this awareness to guide decisions and behavior 2. Practice Transparent Communication • Share challenges and admit mistakes when appropriate • Communicate openly and honestly about decisions • Express emotions clearly to your team 3. Embrace Vulnerability with Boundaries • Show vulnerability without compromising your professional image • Share personal experiences related to work • Maintain boundaries by not oversharing 4. Adapt Expression to the Context • Be mindful of when and how you express emotions • Consider the audience and situation • Balance positive and negative emotional expressions 5. Model Balanced Behavior • Demonstrate constructive emotional expression • Manage difficult emotions without suppressing them • Encourage open dialogue about emotions within professional boundaries P.S.    Recognize that your emotions are not your identity. Don’t let them dictate your actions. 🔖 P.P.S. What is one tiny tweak you’ll make to be more emotionally agile next week? ⤵️

𝗙𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗥𝗲𝗳𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻: 𝗖𝘂𝗹𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗚𝗿𝗼𝘄𝘁𝗵 𝗧𝗵𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝗘𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗜𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 ⚖ In our professional journeys, we often encounter situations that test our patience and maturity. This reflection highlights the importance of learning and growth within an individual, particularly how maturity and emotional intelligence shape our professional journeys. Over a decade ago, I encountered such a situation on a project site, witnessing a young colleague's anger after a heated exchange with a client manager. His frustration was palpable, and when I calmly suggested letting it go, he retorted that I must have "chilled blood or perhaps even water” in contrast to his "young and boiling blood." Gathering all my experience, I explained that there was no point dwelling on the manager’s behaviour. Despite the outburst, the manager had been helpful in other aspects of the task, and our primary focus was to complete the job and move forward. Interestingly, later that evening, the same manager, who had initially caused so much frustration, went out of his way to help us finalize the work and provided logistical support for our departure, demonstrating the importance of maintaining perspective and not letting a momentary emotion define an entire relationship. As Ashwani Mittal ‘Aish’ aptly puts it, "While boiling, water must be thinking, if there was no vessel, it would have shown the fire what it can do." This metaphor encapsulates the lesson perfectly. Without a container - responsibilities, perspective, or experience - our emotions can easily overflow, potentially causing harm or misjudgment. However, maturity allows us to see that the ‘vessel’ is what helps us control our impulses and channel our energy constructively. In an organizational set up, these ‘vessels’ are often our professional responsibilities, relationships, and gratitude for the support we receive along the way. By embracing these boundaries, we learn to manage challenges with graciousness and resilience and aim to become more effective professionals. Growth is not just about advancing in our careers, but also about developing the capacity to navigate difficult moments with grace, understanding, and a broader perspective. Through this process, we transform from being reactive to being thoughtful and composed, allowing us to thrive in both work and life. True growth is not just about advancing in rank or title. It is about cultivating the ability to manage emotions, respond thoughtfully to challenges, and maintain a broader perspective. Through this process, we evolve from reacting impulsively to acting with intentionality, ultimately fostering a more positive and productive work environment. Anything you may like to add...

"I was so angry that I felt I was going to explode. How dare he dismiss my views so casually". "Sometimes even if I don't say anything, I am told my feelings are plainly visible on my face". In my work as an #executivecoach, I hear statements such as these. A frequent coaching theme is emotional awareness and constructive expression of emotions. Do you ever find yourself overwhelmed by emotions, struggling to articulate what you're feeling? Understanding and accurately labeling our emotions is crucial for effective self-expression and emotional management. It's not just about what you feel, but how you communicate it that can make a world of difference in personal and professional settings. Why Labeling Emotions Matters: 1. Clarity & Awareness: It helps pinpoint exactly what you're experiencing, fostering self-awareness. 2. Better Communication: Clear labels enable you to express yourself more accurately to others. 3. Self-Regulation: Knowing your emotions empowers you to manage them constructively. 4. Builds Emotional Resilience: By honing this skill, you pave the way for greater emotional resilience and stronger relationships. Lets take 2 scenarios to understand this better. Scenario 1: When Emotions Aren't Expressed Well A manager, feeling overwhelmed by a looming project deadline, addresses their team with frustration, saying, "You’re all not doing enough!" This broad statement stems from stress but communicates blame, leading to defensiveness and decreased morale among team members. Reframed Approach: When Emotions Are Expressed Accurately In a similar situation, the manager takes a moment to reflect and labels their emotion as "anxious" rather than just "angry." They express, "I’m feeling anxious about the upcoming deadline and worry we might be falling behind. Let’s discuss where we stand and what support might be needed to move forward." This approach encourages collaboration, openness, and a sense of shared purpose. Scenario 2: When One Feels Disrespected and Responds with Strong Words An employee feels unheard and disrespected in a team meeting. Frustrated, they say, "This is ridiculous! You never listen to me; this whole process is a waste of time!" While this communicates their frustration, it may escalate tensions and close down constructive dialogue. Reframed Approach: After taking a moment to reflect, the employee could reframe by labeling their emotion accurately and using "I" statements: "I feel frustrated because I sense my points aren't being considered. I’d appreciate it if we could revisit my ideas and discuss them further. I'm committed to finding a solution that works for everyone." This approach opens up the space for respectful dialogue and problem-solving. What has been your experience of emotional labeling? How has it impacted how you navigate your professional and personal life? #emotionalintelligence #coaching #personaldevelopment #unlockpotential Pic credit - as indicated in the image

Until today, I had never heard the phrase, "gratuity riot." I bet you hadn't either. It allegedly happened in Nashville, where a bartender, pushed past her limit by a bachelor party that ran up a large tab and left no tip, hurled a pitcher across the bar. Words were exchanged, bottles followed, and soon the bar was a scene out of a country-western apocalypse — stools overturned, beer spraying, a shattered glass everywhere. By the time the police arrived, the bartender was under arrest for aggravated assault, inciting a riot, and destruction of property. We can all shake our heads and mutter, "What a mess," but there's a real workplace lesson buried under the spilled beer and broken glass. The service industry — like a lot of workplaces — asks employees to absorb an enormous amount of emotional labor. They're expected to smile through stress, rudeness, and disrespect, often for low pay and unpredictable tips. It's easy to tell employees to "handle it professionally." It’s harder to remember that professionalism under pressure isn't always instinct — it's a learned skill. And when employers don't teach it, they shouldn't be shocked when someone hits their breaking point. Here's how to train for calm before chaos: Train for tension. Don't assume employees know how to de-escalate conflict. Role-play tough situations. Give them words, not just rules. Model composure. People copy what they see. If leadership melts down, that tone becomes the culture. Calm is contagious, but so is chaos. Back them up. "The customer is always right" should never mean "the employee must take abuse." Make sure your team knows where the line is. Build in recovery. Emotional labor drains people. Let them breathe, reset, and come back level-headed. Teach when to walk away. Professionalism doesn't mean enduring everything. Sometimes the smartest move is to step back and call for help. Professionalism isn't just an expectation — it’s a skill set. If we don’t teach it, we can't be too surprised when someone decides that "handling it" means hurling a pitcher and starting a riot.

The real difficulty with emotional regulation in the workplace is that feelings can be untrustworthy. Learning to discriminate between emotions that are trustworthy and those that are misleading is crucial to reading situations correctly, making the best possible decisions and creating good working relationships. This requires an understanding beyond emotional intelligence. We must also learn the kind of self-awareness that helps us to separate the past from the present and bring our unconscious drives to conscious awareness. Becoming aware of our feelings, identifying the source of our wrong thinking, and then holding back our reactions are crucial steps. This will allow time to reflect, to determine whether you are reacting to internal events (originating from your internal life or history) or external events (actual events in the workplace). #linkedinbookclub Being highjacked by strong feelings at work can result in dire consequences. It can interfere with our capacity to think clearly and to read a situation accurately. Too often decisions and actions are based on an unconscious, and sometimes conscious, attempt to avoid feeling uncomfortable. Think of a time that you withheld your opinion or avoided a conversation for fear of feeling bad. If we could learn to face and manage strong feelings and anxieties rather than avoid them, we would be better equipped to cope with the minefield of office politics – taking risks, accepting our mistakes and relating to people we find difficult will all be made easier. It is easier to go by our ‘gut instincts,’ how we feel, than to take the time to think things through carefully. Thinking requires time and effort, and often creates confusion or ambivalence, states of mind we prefer to ignore. But if we are able to tolerate uncomfortable emotions rather than acting on them, we are more able to consider what is happening and respond more thoughtfully. At one level, we could accept feelings at face value and allow them to lead us. That is, if we are exhausted, we need to recover; if we are suspicious of a client, perhaps we do need to be more cautious. Feelings can be useful, yet they can also mislead. Optimism and desire, for example, can push a project forward but too much can mean signs of dangerous risk are ignored. Many people are surprised to learn that feelings can be kept to oneself and thought about, rather than necessarily acted on; that is, they can be understood and managed. Some people believe that having strong feelings is proof of their ‘rightness’ and entitles them to act as they please. On the contrary, when feelings are out of proportion to an event, it is more likely the individual is responding to historic events or internal states. My advise is to practise the art of containing and thinking about feelings rather than acting on them. If in doubt, talk with a trusted adviser or colleague to gain clarity. 

Laurie Ruettimann's post on professional detachment (check it out) landed differently for me today. In the past, I conflated my professional performance with my personal worth. A "no" on a proposal became a reflection of my capabilities. Radio silence from my manager turned into evidence I was failing. Budget cuts felt like personal betrayal rather than business reality. I was pouring emotional energy into outcomes I couldn't control while neglecting the things I actually could influence. Her point about CEOs not crying in bathrooms isn't about becoming heartless. It's about understanding that sustainable success requires emotional boundaries. The best leaders I know aren't detached because they don't care—they're detached because they care about the right things in the right measure. I've learnt to ask myself: "is this reaction proportional to what actually happened, or am I making this about me when it's just business?" The hardest part isn't setting boundaries with others. It's setting them with myself. Not checking email after 8 PM. Not catastrophizing a quiet week. Not measuring my worth by how quickly I respond to non-urgent requests. Starting to see your job as something you're exceptionally good at, not something that defines your value as a human being becomes key. This isn't about becoming indifferent. It's about becoming unshakeable. The work still matters. The results still matter. But my peace of mind matters too. And maybe that's the most professional thing of all.

They say divorce is the second most traumatic life experience, right after losing a child. For 10 years, I guided clients through this emotional battlefield while learning a crucial lesson: To be their rock, I couldn't absorb their pain. At 55, I made an unusual career pivot. After three decades of insurance defense work, I switched to family law because I wanted to make a meaningful difference in people's lives. What I didn't fully appreciate was the emotional intensity. My clients arrived: • Overwhelmed with fear and uncertainty • Filled with anger and resentment • Unable to see past their current pain • Desperate for someone to help them find clarity Unlike my previous cases where I couldn't change the accident that had already happened, in family law I could actually help shape a better future. But I quickly noticed something about lawyers in this field: About 20% seemed to feed off the conflict—fighting about everything, making unreasonable demands, turning pain into billable hours. The other 80% genuinely wanted to help people rebuild their lives. I knew which group I wanted to be in. The challenge? Finding the balance between empathy and boundaries. Too much emotional distance, and clients feel unheard. Too much absorption of their pain, and you can't be the steady hand they need. The solution wasn't complicated, but it wasn't easy either: I learned to truly listen without making their pain my own. I could acknowledge their suffering without drowning in it. I could validate their feelings without losing my perspective. I could be their advocate without becoming emotionally entangled. This wasn't detachment—it was purposeful presence. By maintaining this balance, I could help them see beyond their current crisis to envision a stable future on the other side. The reward? Those thank-you notes I mentioned. In 30 years of insurance defense, I rarely received them. In family law, they became common. Because when you help someone through one of life's darkest moments with both compassion and clarity, you've given them something invaluable. What emotional boundaries have you had to establish in your professional life? #LegalWellness #EmotionalIntelligence #ProfessionalBoundaries

Myth: Being emotional isn’t professional. Reality: Emotion isn’t the risk. Undecoded emotion is. If you can’t read your internal state, your internal state will run your decisions. How it shows up at work: → Last-minute rewrites → Over-involvement → Rushed calls Translation: You’re chasing control, not confidence. Cortisol > conviction. I dug into the neuroscience. This isn’t about being “too emotional.” Emotions are neurochemical signals. They either restore or drain your capacity, in real time. Left unchecked, they create: - Stress loops - Patterned decisions - Fatigue that reads as inconsistency When decoded, they create: - Clarity in the moment - Steadiness under pressure - Consistent executive presence Here's how to decode emotion in 20 seconds: 1) Name it (1 word): anxious, tense, rushed 2) Spot the trigger: this moment or a past pattern? 3) Pick ONE move (only one): - Pause 60s - Ask 1 clarifying question (“What’s the real constraint?”) - Delegate 1 step (owner + deadline) - Time-box (“We’ll decide at 3pm.”) Example: Feeling: anxious → Trigger: tight timeline (not them) → Move: ask 1 clarifying question → decide at 3pm. Don’t override. Don’t unleash. Decode. Emotional awareness ≠ suppression. It’s signal reading. Strategic choosing. Emotional fluency = leadership infrastructure.