Techniques for Building Trust Through Emotional Regulation

“We have a feedback culture.”   That’s what the slide says in your onboarding deck.  But here’s what the team actually feels: → “If I speak up, I’ll be labeled ‘difficult.’” → “If I share the real issue, I’ll lose trust.” → “If I name what’s broken, I’ll be the problem.” That’s not feedback. That’s fear. And fear doesn’t build trust. It builds silence. Here’s how to start changing that 👇 1️⃣ Ask questions they’re scared to answer. Try: “What’s one thing we’re not talking about that we should be?” 2️⃣ Respond to feedback like it’s a gift especially when it stings. If you defend, they won’t bring it again. 3️⃣ Give feedback in real time, not once a year. Waiting for performance reviews = waiting too long. 4️⃣ Model emotional regulation. Your tone and energy determine if the room opens up or shuts down. 5️⃣ Normalize disagreement. If your team always agrees with you, they probably don’t feel safe enough to be honest. 6️⃣ Show them how to speak up then protect them when they do. Psychological safety isn’t just permission. It’s protection. 7️⃣ Do your own work. Your self-awareness sets the ceiling for theirs. No inner work = no outer trust. You don’t earn trust through words. You earn it through nervous systems. Because if people can’t breathe around you, they won’t be honest with you. Want to lead a team where truth feels safe? Start with how you listen. - ♻️ Repost to help leaders prioritize psychological safety 🔔 Follow me Julia Laszlo for radically honest leadership talk

The # 1 trait of the most respected leaders Is something only 36% of people have. It's emotional intelligence (aka EQ). I used to think it was a personality trait. Some people just “had it.” It turns out, you can learn it. If you're paying attention. It's built along the way: In tense meetings. In messy feedback moments. In the silence after saying the wrong thing. Emotional intelligence isn’t soft. It’s strategic. The most respected leaders: Steady the room. De-escalate tension. Keep people aligned. Notice what others miss. That’s not charm. It’s skill. And yes, it’s learnable. Start here 👇 11 EQ Moves That Build Trust and Influence 1. Notice what’s unsaid. ↳ Who’s silent? Who looks tense? ↳ Reading the room is a power move. 2. Name the emotion in the room. ↳ “Feels like we’re stuck.” ↳ Naming it disarms it. 3. Manage your own tone. ↳ Frustrated ≠ unfiltered. ↳ EQ is volume control. 4. Pause strategically. ↳ Not awkward. Intentional. ↳ Space changes outcomes. 5. Ask before you assume. ↳ “Want advice or just space to vent?” ↳ Respect starts with clarity. 6. Say “you first” in tense moments. ↳ Not to defer. ↳ To understand before reacting. 7. Use questions to lead. ↳ “What would make this feel doable?” ↳ Open doors, not debates. 8. Reset instead of react. ↳ A walk. A breath. A playlist. ↳ Regulated leaders regulate the room. 9. Normalize not knowing. ↳ “That’s a new one for me—tell me more.” ↳ Curiosity beats cover-up. 10. Practice presence over polish. ↳ People remember how you made them feel. ↳ Your energy speaks louder than your resume. 11. Give feedback for someone, not at them. ↳ “Here’s something I’ve noticed…” ↳ Kind ≠ soft. These are habits that change how people respond to you. Because they feel seen, heard, and safe. What’s one EQ habit you’ll practice this month? Share below 👇 ♻ Repost to share with someone leading through relationships, not volume. 👉Follow Stephanie Eidelman (Meisel) for more ways to lead visibly and authentically.

I’ve found myself navigating meetings when a colleague or team member is emotionally overwhelmed. One person came to me like a fireball, angry and frustrated. A peer had triggered them deeply. After recognizing that I needed to shift modes, I took a breath and said, “Okay, tell me what's happening.” I realized they didn’t want a solution. I thought to myself: They must still be figuring out how to respond and needed time to process. They are trusting me to help. I need to listen. In these moments, people often don’t need solutions; they need presence. There are times when people are too flooded with feelings to answer their own questions. This can feel counterintuitive in the workplace, where our instincts are tuned to solve, fix, and move forward. But leadership isn’t just about execution; it’s also about emotional regulation and providing psychological safety. When someone approaches you visibly upset, your job isn’t to immediately analyze or correct. Instead, your role is to listen, ground the space, and ensure they feel heard. This doesn't mean abandoning accountability or ownership; quite the opposite. When people feel safe, they’re more likely to engage openly in dialogue. The challenging part is balancing reassurance without minimizing the issue, lowering standards, or compromising team expectations. There’s also a potential trap: eventually, you'll need to shift from emotional containment to clear, kind feedback. But that transition should come only after the person feels genuinely heard, not before. Timing matters. Trust matters. If someone is spinning emotionally, be the steady presence. Be the one who notices. Allow them to guide the pace. Then, after the storm passes, and only then, you can invite reflection and growth. This is how you build a high-trust, high-performance culture: one conversation, one moment of grounded leadership at a time.