Encouraging Emotional Expression

There are moments when you want to scream, cry, or laugh out loud but instead, you straighten your back, put on a calm face, and walk into the room. That’s the paradox of leadership and life. The times you most want to show your emotions are often the very moments you feel you can’t. I still remember a meeting years ago. We had worked months on a project, and in one swift decision, it was scrapped. I wanted to slam the table. I wanted people to see the fire in me. But all I managed was a nod and a neutral, “Alright, what’s next?” The silence burned more than an outburst ever could. Over time, I realized: controlling emotions isn’t about burying them. It’s about choosing when and how to show them so that they serve a purpose, not sabotage one. + Anger can destroy trust if released raw but channeled right, it can fuel urgency. + Sadness can weaken a room if left unchecked but expressed honestly, it can build empathy. + Joy can look frivolous if misplaced but shared in the right moment, it multiplies energy. Some of my strongest leadership moments weren’t when I stayed stoic. They were when I allowed just enough emotion to show, enough to be human, but not so much that it blurred the message. So the next time emotions rise, ask yourself: Do I want to release this emotion, or do I want to use it? That single pause can turn a reaction into a response and a response into impact.

Memoirs of a Gully Boys Episode 37: #EmotionalIntelligence – The Key to Meaningful Leadership Leadership isn’t just about strategy and execution; it’s about understanding, connecting with, and inspiring people. Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to recognize and manage not only your emotions but also those of others. Over the years, I’ve learned that while technical skills can get you started, it’s emotional intelligence that keeps you ahead. Leading with Empathy During a critical system overhaul, one of my most skilled team members began missing deadlines and appearing disengaged. Instead of reprimanding him, I called for a private conversation. It turned out he was struggling with a personal issue that was affecting his focus. Rather than pushing harder, I offered him flexibility and reassigned some tasks to lighten his load. Within weeks, his performance rebounded, and his gratitude translated into renewed dedication to the project. Lesson 1: Empathy isn’t a weakness in leadership—it’s the strength that builds loyalty and trust. The Art of Active Listening In a client negotiation years ago, tensions were high due to differing expectations. The meeting began with both sides defensive and unwilling to compromise. Instead of countering every point, I focused on actively listening to their concerns without interrupting. Once they felt heard, their stance softened, and we found common ground to move forward. That day, I realized that listening is not just about hearing words—it’s about understanding emotions, intentions, and the bigger picture. Lesson 2: Active listening dissolves barriers and creates pathways for collaboration. Regulating Emotions in High-Stress Situations During a complex software migration, an unexpected system failure triggered panic among stakeholders. As the project lead, I felt the pressure mounting. However, instead of reacting impulsively, I paused, analyzed the situation, and communicated a clear action plan. Keeping emotions in check not only reassured the team but also set the tone for a calm and focused recovery effort. The project was back on track within days, and the team’s confidence grew as a result. Lesson 3: Emotional regulation isn’t about suppressing feelings—it’s about channeling them effectively to lead under pressure. The Power of Recognition Emotional intelligence also lies in recognizing and appreciating people’s contributions. During a grueling project, I made it a point to acknowledge every team member’s effort, no matter how small. The simple act of recognition boosted morale and created a sense of shared ownership. When the project was completed successfully, the celebration felt more collective than individual—a testament to the power of emotional intelligence in fostering unity. Lesson 4: Recognition fuels motivation and strengthens connections within teams. Closing Thoughts Emotional intelligence is the bridge between leadership and humanity. To be continued...

In vulnerability lies our greatest strength I was executive coaching Jo, a CEO in the tech industry (name changed for anonymity). She's brilliant, driven, and successful. You expect her to have it all figured out. I immediately sensed guarded body language. Jo spoke about her achievements and goals but changed the subject when asked about her fears and struggles. People are often afraid to show vulnerability. I'm the same sometimes. I hide doubts and insecurities behind a mask of perfection. ↳ Vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness ↳ It's the key to true connection ↳ It's the key to real leadership I knew that if Jo wanted to improve her leadership. Embracing her vulnerability would help. So I took my coaching hat off and shared my story. I spoke about starting my coaching business. I talked about feeling imposter syndrome. The doubts, fears, the nagging voice telling me I wasn't good enough - I laid it all out there. I saw a shift in her eyes and shoulders relaxing, and then she started opening up. "𝗜 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗜 𝗰𝗮𝗻'𝘁 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝘄𝗲𝗮𝗸𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀. 𝗟𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗜 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝘀𝘄𝗲𝗿𝘀, 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲. 𝗜𝘁'𝘀 𝗲𝘅𝗵𝗮𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗜 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗿𝗲." That moment of vulnerability changed everything. As Jo shared her struggles, she realized that this is normal. Jo committed to embracing vulnerability. She would do this in her leadership. She started sharing more with her team. She invited them into the process of solving the problems. she listened and empathized more. The impact was incredible. Her team became more engaged. They felt trusted, valued, and connected to a shared purpose. Jo became a better, kinder leader. She inspired loyalty and commitment. Jo is now happy, her team is happy, and they've all moved forward together. Research shows that people see vulnerable leaders as more real, trustworthy, and relatable. They create psychological safety, and cultures of creativity and innovation. They build deeper, more meaningful connections with their teams. As Brené Brown, a famous researcher on vulnerability, once said: → "𝗩𝘂𝗹𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗿 𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴. 𝗜𝘁'𝘀 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘂𝗽 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗯𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘄𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗹 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲. 𝗩𝘂𝗹𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘄𝗲𝗮𝗸𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀. 𝗜𝘁'𝘀 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗵𝗶𝗴𝗵𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝘀𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗮𝗴𝗲. Have you found vulnerability to be your greatest strength? Please share your stories in the comments below - let's learn and grow together. #leadership #coaching #vulnerability #growthmindset  

When it comes to sharing difficult emotions at work, the research is clear. But how do you invite them while keeping deliverables on track & avoiding constant complaining? Here are 3 tactics. Many leaders don’t want to invite the expression of difficult emotions into the work because... 🛑 they’re afraid it’ll derail productivity. 🛑 they’re already burned out from being the office “therapist.” 🛑 it’s just…a lot. But here’s what Change Enthusiasm Global's data tells us: ↪️ 72–77% of employees (region-specific) are more likely to engage in a change initiative when they feel safe sharing difficult emotions about that change. Let me say it louder: EMOTIONAL SAFETY DRIVES CHANGE READINESS So how do you honor the emotion without getting pulled under? Here are 3 tactics to let the research work for you — even if you're emotionally exhausted: ------ 1. Structure the conversation. When a team member brings you a difficult emotion, guide them with this frame: 1️⃣ What’s the situation or challenge? 2️⃣ What emotion(s) are you feeling? 3️⃣ What’s one action you’re committing to to help you move forward? 4️⃣ What does support look like from me? 5️⃣ Then follow up. A week later. A month later. Let them know you saw them — and you’re still with them. ------ 2. Invite grace, not guilt. You can’t be a safe space if you’re running on empty. ✅ So when you’re not in the headspace to hold someone’s emotion, say so. “I care about this. And I want to be fully present. Can we circle back later today?” That’s self-awareness, not selfishness. ------ 3. Normalize the language of feeling. Embrace vulnerability by naming your own signal emotions. ✅ Model what it looks like to feel, then choose. grace and growth. ✅ When feelings become part of the culture, they stop feeling like a threat. ----- Here’s the truth: Emotion is already in the room. You’re either creating space for it to move or letting it fester underground. This is not about coddling. It’s about cultivating... ➡️ Resilience. ➡️ Ownership. ➡️ Growth. ➡️ Results. ⁉️ Which of the three tactics do you employ most often? ♻️ Repost to promote leading with both empathy and clarity. Download our full research whitepapers to learn more: https://lnkd.in/ennTss8p

Imagine one of your team members, a strong performer in the past, is struggling. Her father is undergoing cancer treatment and she is the primary caregiver. Over the last six months, her performance has dipped significantly. Other members are stepping in, however it is creating additional pressure and affecting the overall team performance. Unfortunately, you cannot bring in additional help. So, how do you support your employee through this challenging time without impacting the overall team performance? In my recent poll on LinkedIn, 86% respondents shared that they would appeal to the team for support. Here’s how I have dealt with delicate situations like this: 1️⃣ Have an empathetic conversation with the employee - Acknowledge her strengths, contributions and current struggles. - Encourage her to open up, including worries about impact on career - Discuss likely solutions to ease her workload temporarily, ex: adjustable or lower work hours, role adjustments etc. - Offer emotional health support like counselling 2️⃣ Assure your support. Times like this seem to last forever and people get flustered. - Assure that any temporary changes in the role, or workload or hours will not have long-term impact - Help her reassess and realign her short and long term priorities 3️⃣ Appeal to the team - Reprioritize the tasks, some non-critical ones may be dropped or outsourced - Reassign tasks to other members in an innovative way, say assigning work based on a person’s interest or development goals. - Role model by personally taking over few tasks What support have you received from your manager at difficult times? What could have been done differently? #manager #empathy #leadership

I don't start my day with coffee ☕  I start it with tasting my 😱 fear That's how I find the courage to lead. Most leaders I know are emotion-illiterate. We're taught to ignore, suppress, power through. Big mistake. True strength? 💪 It's in feeling deeply and leading anyway. That's why I teach leaders to SIP their emotions: 𝐒 - 𝐒𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫  Savor the emotion. Feel it in your body. Can you let this emotion be here for a few moments? No judgement, no resistance. How is this emotion playing on the piano of your nervous system? 𝐈 - 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 Interchange the emotion.  Find its opposite.  Emotions are like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. One can't exist without another.  Fear can't exist without Love. Anger can't exist without Awareness. 𝐏 - 𝐏𝐨𝐥𝐥 Poll the emotion.  Listen to what it's trying to tell you.  Anger means there is a boundary that someone else has crossed or you have failed to protect. Fear means you would love for a certain other possibility to happen. Now when I taste that fear: It becomes a 🧭 compass, pointing to where I need to grow It transforms into excitement for the challenges ahead 😎 It fuels my courage 🫡 to make bold decisions The result? 🔭Clearer vision in uncertainty 🤓 More innovative problem-solving 👫Deeper connections with my team and clients Your emotions aren't a liability. They're your most powerful asset. What emotion have you been avoiding? Let's normalize emotion in leadership. Remember, SIPping your emotions can revolutionize how you approach challenges. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Two decades of executive leadership, a decade of contemplation & neurscience. Follow Shweta Sharma for more insights on turning your emotions into your superpower.

Supporting Stressed Colleagues: The ICARE Framework Whenever I do a keynote presentation to help build caring teams, I ask the audience to raise their had if someone in their life is suffering a mental health issue. That could be someone at work, or in their personal life. 90% of the audience will raise their hand every time. So how do we help them effectively? Some time ago, I developed the ICARE framework to provide five practical steps that we can follow to support a team mate in distress (it's equally applicable to family and friends): I - IDENTIFY Notice when someone's behavior changes. Are they quieter than usual? Missing deadlines? Different energy levels? These shifts often signal someone is struggling. C - COMPASSION Offer emotional support without judgment. Asking "Are you okay?" with empathy can open the door to meaningful connection and support. A - ACCESS EXPERTS Help them find professional support - whether it's a mental health savvy GP or other mental health professionals. You don't need to be the expert, just the bridge. R - REVITALIZING WORK Work can be incredibly therapeutic. When possible, staying engaged (even in modified ways) often supports recovery better than complete withdrawal. E - EXERCISE Never underestimate the power of movement. Offering to take a 30-minute walk during lunch provides both psychological support and physical benefits. Walking features heavily in my own self-care strategy, and when I feel that my mood is declining, I will reach out to a friend to join me on a walk. Reaching out to a colleague in distress can feel like a minefield, but remember that it's not your job to fix them. No one expects you to have all of the answers. The best thing that you can do is show up with intention and practical support. What strategies have you found helpful when supporting colleagues?

When I first started my personal brand, I received zero traction. Now, my posts reach thousands within hours. I've switched from focusing on 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 I posted to 𝘩𝘰𝘸 I told my story. Storytelling doesn’t just engage—it connects. It’s the difference between a good post and a great one. A story that makes people stop scrolling, pay attention, and leave feeling a sense of desire, motivation, or direction. Here’s how you can master storytelling in your LinkedIn posts: 1️⃣ Start with a Hook Open with a question, surprising fact, or challenge your audience is facing. 2️⃣ Focus on Conflict & Resolution Every good story needs tension. Present the problem first, then show how you overcame it to keep the audience engaged. 3️⃣ Make It Relatable Share stories that resonate with your audience’s pain points or aspirations. If they can relate, they’ll engage. 4️⃣ Use Emotion Don’t just tell facts—make them feel something. Emotion drives action and makes your story memorable. 5️⃣ Keep It Simple Stick to one core message or takeaway. Simplicity is powerful. 6️⃣ Create an Actionable Ending Leave your audience with something they can act on. Ask for their take, challenge them, or prompt reflection. 7️⃣ Be Authentic Share your real, raw experiences. People want to connect with 𝘺𝘰𝘶, not perfected stories. Turn your posts into conversations to skyrocket your engagement. It worked for me, and it can work for you too. 👉 What’s your hardest challenge when it comes to storytelling? #storytelling #personalbranding #engagement

Why Emotions Matter in B2B Sales? While everyone obsesses over data and technical specs, I've discovered that true B2B success often hinges on something entirely different: pure human emotion. We can crunch ROI numbers until we're blue in the face. Still, it's the trust built over coffee, the relief in a customer's eyes when they finally see a solution to their headache, and the quiet confidence of knowing they've found the right partner that truly seals the deal. In my experience, the most impactful sales aren't won with spreadsheets – they're forged through human connection. Here's how I infuse emotional intelligence into my MEDDICC framework: 1. Stories Over Specs: I worked with a customer who was hesitant to embrace a new approach. I could have focused solely on the logical benefits; instead, I chose to connect with them on a human level. I shared a story of how a similar situation was successfully resolved for another customer, highlighting its positive impact on their team and overall success. This human connection proved far more impactful than any data point 2. Experiences That Ignite: I believe in making the sales process engaging and insightful. Rather than simply presenting data, I focus on creating interactive experiences that allow prospects to see the value of our solutions firsthand. This approach fosters deeper understanding and builds stronger relationships, leading to more meaningful and successful outcomes. 3. The Hidden Cost of Inaction: I've developed a "Cost of Waiting" calculator that quantifies the financial losses incurred by delaying a decision. By demonstrating the financial implications of inaction, we can motivate prospects to take swift action. 4. Fulfilling Aspirations: Behind every B2B purchase lies a desire for success and recognition. I help dEconomic Buyers and Champions understand how our solutions can improve their bottom line and enhance their reputation, boost their team's morale, and solidify their position within the organization. The key? Balance logic with emotion. Show the ROI, but never forget you're selling to humans who want to be heroes in their own stories. What's your experience with emotional selling in B2B? Have you seen a specific instance where an emotional connection swayed a major deal? #B2BSales #SalesStrategy #Leadership #EmotionalIntelligence #MEDDICC #SalesSuccess #HumanConnection

What Does True Strength Look Like? Is it the ability to command a room, to always project confidence, or to lead without hesitation? For years, I believed that strength meant showing no vulnerability—projecting an image of invincibility at all times. This belief was particularly strong early in my career, during my time at Drexel Burnham in the late 1980s. Back then, it was an era defined by the “Masters of the Universe” mentality, where power, control, and unwavering confidence ruled the day. Vulnerability, in that world, was seen as a liability. As time went on, my perspective began to shift. Beyond being a girl dad and family man, engaging with accomplished entrepreneurs and Family Office leaders revealed a crucial truth: vulnerability isn’t a weakness—it’s a strength. Acknowledging imperfections often lays the groundwork for deeper trust, meaningful connections, and authentic leadership. This understanding didn’t happen overnight. Influenced by years of experience and thinkers like Brené Brown, I’ve learned that vulnerability isn’t about exposing flaws—it’s about having the courage to be real. Authenticity fosters trust and collaboration, particularly in environments where trust is the foundation of success. In the Family Office world, relationships often matter as much as strategy. Admitting you don’t have all the answers allows others to see your humanity, strengthening bonds and creating enduring partnerships. Vulnerability shows the courage to step beyond ego and embrace openness, driving progress. It’s not just about admitting what you don’t know—it’s about showing humanity in ways that inspire and empower others. Sharing personal stories of failure can transform relationships, turning mistakes into lessons that encourage risk-taking without fear of judgment. Admitting emotional struggles—whether it’s gratitude for a team’s support or moments of being overwhelmed—fosters empathy and reminds others that even leaders face challenges. Vulnerability also thrives in asking for feedback—not as a formality but as a genuine desire to grow. Leaders who value unfiltered feedback empower their teams to speak openly, creating a culture where ideas thrive without fear of hierarchy. If I could offer one piece of advice to my younger self, it would be to embrace vulnerability in all its forms. Sharing your authentic self—whether by admitting challenges, seeking help, or expressing gratitude—encourages others to do the same. It creates a culture of respect, trust, and collaboration, where people feel valued and empowered. True leadership isn’t about projecting invincibility. It’s about inspiring through connection, authenticity, and trust. Vulnerability redefines strength—not as perfection but as the courage to show up, embrace challenges, and connect deeply with others. It’s one of the greatest strengths we can offer in business, relationships, and life.