Staying Composed When Facing Criticism

Insults hurt. Unless ... you know how to handle them. Your response changes everything. Picture this: You're presenting. Someone interrupts, "That's not realistic." Your face burns. Heart races. Everyone stares. The real power isn't in the insult. It's in the gap between feeling and responding. Master it, and you'll master any situation. Here are 8 powerful ways to turn insults into opportunities: 1. Ask Better Questions 💬 "They just called my idea stupid in front of everyone!" ➟ Pause, then ask "Could you help me understand why?" ➟ Let them explain their perspective fully ➟ Watch as defensiveness melts away 💡 Questions shift pressure back to the critic, making them reflect Try: Practice saying "Tell me more about that" in a mirror tonight 2. Rewrite Your Story 💬 "They must think I'm totally incompetent" ➟ Replace "They hate me" with "They might be stressed" ➟ Focus on facts, not assumptions ➟ Remember: It's rarely personal 💡 Our interpretation of events shapes our emotional response Try: Write down one negative thought and its positive alternative 3. Use Smart Humor 💬 "Someone mocked my presentation style" ➟ Respond with light self-deprecating humor ➟ Keep it gentle, never biting ➟ Smile genuinely while delivering 💡 Humor signals confidence and reduces tension instantly Try: Think of one friendly comeback for common criticism 4. Practice SOBER Response 💬 "I react too quickly when insulted" ➟ Stop ➟ Observe your body ➟ Breathe deeply ➟ Expand awareness ➟ Respond thoughtfully 💡 This method gives your rational brain time to catch up Try: Take three deep breaths before responding next time 5. Speak Diplomatically 💬 "I never know how to address disrespect" ➟ Describe the situation factually ➟ Express feelings calmly ➟ Assert needs clearly 💡 Structure provides confidence in tense moments Try: Write down one situation using this format 6. Create Mental Distance 💬 "Insults feel too personal" ➟ Imagine putting the insult in a "Not Personal" bucket ➟ Watch it dissolve ➟ Respond from clarity 💡 Physical visualization reduces emotional reactivity Try: Draw your "Not Personal" bucket and keep it visible 7. Prepare Your Blueprint 💬 "I freeze when criticized" ➟ Have two ready responses: - "Interesting point, tell me more" - "I see it differently because..." ➟ Practice them regularly 💡 Preparation eliminates panic in tough moments Try: Memorize one go-to response today 8. Welcome Challenges 💬 "I dread difficult interactions" ➟ See each insult as growth opportunity ➟ Think: "Great, I can practice staying calm" ➟ Focus on your response, not their words 💡 Mindset shifts transform threats into opportunities Try: Say "This is my chance to grow" next time you're challenged Insults are temporary. Your response is permanent. Which technique will you practice today? ♻️ Repost if this resonated with you! 🔖 Follow me Suren Samarchyan for more.

Ever felt ashamed for reacting emotionally at work? Here’s what I wish I knew 20 years ago. When I was 18, I lost someone I admired at work. It was sudden, It reminded me of losing my dad at 11. I had no idea what to do with my emotions. No one coached me. No one said, "Pause first." So I just... reacted. Years later, in leadership roles, I still wasn’t ready. Now, I understand what Warren Buffett meant: “You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you.” Restraint isn’t cold. It’s how you protect your power. 9 ways I’ve learned to channel emotion, not shut it down: 1) Put energy into action → Don’t waste passion defending. → Ask: “How can I use this to move forward?” 2) Turn criticism into fuel → Don’t let feedback drain you. → Use it to show what you can do. 3) Save your fire for what matters → Don’t fight every battle. → Save your strength for what counts. 4) Turn frustration into planning → Don’t let setbacks stop you. → Ask: “What would I do differently next time?” 5) Pour into people who pour back → Don’t chase those who don’t show up. → Focus on the ones who help you grow. 6) Turn pushback into learning → Don’t take resistance personally. → Ask: “What am I missing that they see?” 7) Choose impact over ego → Don’t aim to be right. → Aim to be effective. 8) Study calm leaders under stress → Don’t copy the loudest voice. → Notice who really leads the room. 9) Create space before you respond → Don’t hit send on the first draft. → Say: “Let me think and get back to you.” This isn’t about stuffing emotions down. It’s about knowing when they help And when they hurt. 🧠 What’s one reaction you’d take back if you could? Or one moment where restraint made all the difference? 👇 Share your story in the comments. ____________________________ ♻ Repost to share this with someone navigating the same line. 👉 Follow Stephanie Eidelman (Meisel) for more on leadership presence.

The most important lesson I’ve learned as a Marine Officer: Your people will fail. You’ll fail too. It’s inescapable. When failure strikes, it’s EASY to blow a fuse. But here’s the hard truth… Staying calm and level-headed will (almost) always serve you—and your team—better. 1️⃣ Leadership is tested in moments of failure. It’s easy to react emotionally when the stakes are high. But the greatest leaders show restraint. They stay calm, predictable, and steady—even when everything feels like it’s falling apart. 2️⃣ That doesn’t mean intensity has no place. Sometimes, a sharp, deliberate reaction can emphasize urgency or drive home a critical point. But if intensity becomes your default response? You risk breaking trust and damaging morale. 3️⃣ Here’s why calmness matters most: If you’ve built your team effectively, they already know they’ve failed Trust me—they’ll be just as disappointed in themselves (if not more) than you are. They don’t need more pressure. They need your guidance. 4️⃣ In tough moments, your team looks to you for stability. When things go sideways, your response sets the tone. Will you stay composed and focus on solutions? Or will you let emotions take over and fuel the chaos? The choice you make defines your leadership. 5️⃣ Emotional intelligence separates good leaders from great ones. Handling failure with grace and composure builds trust. It shows your team they can count on you—not just when things go right, but when everything’s going wrong. 6️⃣ Questions to ask yourself when failure hits: - Does my team need intensity, or do they need clarity? - Am I reacting emotionally, or leading intentionally? - What example am I setting for my people in this moment? Staying calm under pressure is hard, but it’s what great leaders must do. 7️⃣ Anyone can lose their temper when things fall apart. Few can stay composed and lead through the storm. Be the leader your team looks to for calm and clarity when failure strikes. That’s how trust is built.

I recently had an intense meeting with an aggressive audit client. Dealing with high-pressure situations and managing stress is part of the job. But this meeting was a lesson in patience, empathy, and strategic communication. Here are 5 invaluable lessons I learned in those exhausting 2 hours: 1. 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗰𝘂𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘀:    In face of aggressive questioning,    emotional neutrality is key.        Stick to the data, the facts,    and the audit issues. 2. 𝗥𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝗱, 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗰𝘁:    Emotional reactions can    escalate conflict.        A calm, collected response    can help diffuse tension. 3. 𝗟𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝗔𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗹𝘆:    Often, aggression comes    from feeling unheard.        Active listening shows    respect for their views and    can smooth the conversation. 4. 𝗕𝗲 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝗺 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗳𝘂𝗹:    Standing your ground is critical,    but it's important to maintain respect.        Our words reflect our professional integrity. 5. 𝗣𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲:    Post meeting, it's crucial to destress.        A few minutes of deep breathing,    a walk, or even a cup of tea    can help reset your emotional state. Have you faced similar situations? How do you deal with aggressive clients? ---------------------------------- Hi there, I'm Rob. I teach people (especially auditors) how to become awesome. ---------------------------------- Repost ♻️ if you found this useful Let's Connect --->Robert Berry #thatauditguy #internalaudit

How a simple pause becomes the game changer in high-stakes decisions. One business strategy I've found invaluable over the years is the importance of pausing and "sleeping on" responses during a contentious interaction. Here are some example situations: - When receiving critical feedback from stakeholders or clients that feels personal or unjust. - During heated negotiations with high stakes, emotions run hotter. - In moments of internal conflict, be it with team dynamics or decision-making clashes. Waiting a day can make a world of difference. - A night's rest provides the emotional detachment needed to approach the situation more objectively. - Time allows for the gathering of more information and perspectives, leading to a well-rounded understanding. - It enables crafting a thoughtful, strategic response rather than a reactive one. So use this strategy to set yourself up for leadership success. This approach: - Demonstrates patience, wisdom, and control, reinforcing your leadership stature. - Leads to more balanced and effective decisions, avoiding the pitfalls of snap judgments. - Shows respect for all parties involved, often leading to more amicable resolutions and stronger professional relationships. In leadership, the race isn't always won by the swift but by those who navigate with wisdom and foresight. 

When faced with other people’s bad behavior, most advice centers on specific responses or techniques. Yet I've found that what matters even more is the mindset you bring to these challenging moments—because let's face it, we can't control other people's behavior, but we can control how much of our emotional reserves it consumes. What do I mean by “bad behavior?” Think about the client who sends angry emails at midnight, the colleague who talks over you in meetings, or the boss who changes project requirements without warning and then asks why you're behind schedule. And of course, think of any family member who just drives you bananas! Here are 5 mindsets to try: 1. The Anthropologist Mindset: When someone behaves badly, imagine you're an anthropologist who's just discovered a fascinating new cultural behavior. "How interesting! This person believes interrupting shows engagement." This curious, detached observation creates emotional distance and reduces your stress response. Plus, it makes boring meetings way more entertaining! 2. The Compassion-Before-Correction Lens: Before addressing problematic behavior, ask yourself: "What might be happening in their world that I can't see?" Maybe that aggressive email came after they received bad news from home, or that micromanaging is driven by their fear of failure. This doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it helps you approach the conversation with understanding rather than judgment. 3. The Personal Laboratory View: See difficult interactions as experiments in your personal development lab. "What can I learn here about my triggers and reactions?" When you view challenging people as growth accelerators rather than obstacles, you transform frustration into fascination. (Congratulations to that impossibly difficult client—you've just been promoted from "nightmare" to "character-building exercise"!) 4. The Chess Player's Perspective: In chess, successful players think several moves ahead. Similarly, ask: "If I react instinctively right now, what's likely to happen next?" This strategic pause helps you respond rather than react, choosing moves that advance your long-term goals rather than satisfying short-term emotional urges. (This is particularly useful for family gatherings!) 5. The Self-Coaching Stance: Become your own compassionate coach by asking: "What would my best self do in this situation?" This creates space between stimulus and response, allowing you to align your actions with your values rather than with the emotional weather of the moment. These perspectives can be applied universally—whether you're dealing with a difficult client or the person who just cut you off in traffic. What mindsets and perspectives do you use when you feel a flair coming up? #conflict #relationships #coaching

A Superpower I’ve Learned as a Program Manager at Amazon When I started as a program manager at Amazon, I thought the best leaders were the loudest in the room—the ones who took charge during chaotic moments. But early on, I worked with a senior program manager who completely changed my perspective. No matter how intense things got—missed deadlines, shifting priorities, or stakeholder pressure—they stayed calm, focused, and polite. They didn’t raise their voice or panic. Instead, they asked thoughtful questions and brought clarity. I’ll never forget one moment during a critical project. Just days before a launch, we hit a major roadblock, and tensions were high. While others scrambled, this person calmly asked, “What’s the most immediate action we can take to unblock progress?” That simple question shifted the energy in the room, and suddenly, we were aligned and focused. At the time, I admired their composure and wondered if I could emulate it. Sometimes I would get caught up in the constant firefighting and stress. Now, I’ve come to see staying calm as a superpower that I’ve worked hard to hone. For me, it’s about: 1️⃣ Pausing Before Reacting: Taking a moment to breathe and ground myself. 2️⃣ Focusing on the Next Step: Asking, “What can we do right now?” instead of getting overwhelmed by everything. 3️⃣ Modeling Composure: Staying polite and composed helps others do the same. I’m forever growing, but I’ve seen how calm leadership can turn chaos into clarity. How do you stay grounded in high-pressure situations? #Leadership #ProgramManagement #Growth #Amazon #StayingCalm

You don’t need to raise your voice to raise the bar. The ones who lead best? Aren’t performing. They carry something quieter. A superpower most people miss. They stay composed in chaos. Calm in conflict. Clear under pressure. Not because they shut emotions down. But because they know how to tune in. It’s not suppression. It’s self-awareness. That’s what creates trust. And that’s what makes them unforgettable. Reading the room. Tuning into emotion. Leading with presence → not just process. That’s emotional intelligence. It’s not about being emotional. It’s about being aware. Of yourself. Of others. Of the moment. The best leaders I’ve worked with? They weren’t always the loudest or most assertive. But they made people feel understood. 🛟 Safe 👀 Seen 🤝 Capable Here’s what high EQ sounds like: → “Let me pause before responding.” → “I hear you, let’s figure it out together.” → “What support would help most right now?” → “I’ll assume good intent and start from there.” → “I noticed you seemed off, want to talk about it?” → “I need a moment to process this before we move forward.” → “That sounds really frustrating. Tell me more.” And I’ll be honest: It wasn’t always this way. I used to second-guess that calm. Wondered if I had to be louder to be taken seriously. But what I’ve learned? EQ isn’t soft. It’s steady. Intentional. Strategic. And it changes everything. Because that’s how trust is built → moment by moment. 💭 Which EQ skill are you leaning into this season? 🔁 Share this with others to help them lead with heart and clarity 🔔 Follow me, Alinnette for more leadership insights 📩 Get fresh ideas on leading with clarity and intention straight to your inbox by signing up here: https://lnkd.in/gZX-CWa8

Stop fearing difficult conversations. Master them them with these 21 phrases: I used to run from conflict. Even with the best intentions, I’d freeze, shut down, or over-explain. Avoidance? It cost me trust. Clarity. Connection. I eventually learned: Silence doesn’t protect relationships — presence does. If you want to lead with heart, you have to show up— especially when it’s uncomfortable. 221 ways Emotionally Intelligent leaders handle tough conversations with grace: 1) Ground Yourself ↳ "Let me take a breath before we dive in" ↳ Regulating yourself regulates the room 2) Speak from the 'I' ↳ "I feel..." not "You always..." ↳ Language shapes energy 3) Ask, Don’t Assume ↳ "What’s most important to you here?" ↳ Curiosity over judgment 4) Honor the Human ↳ "I care about you—this matters" ↳ Connection before correction 5) Stay With Discomfort ↳ "This feels hard—and that’s okay" ↳ Growth often feels messy 6) Reflect Instead of React ↳ "Can I take a moment before I respond?" ↳ Response > Reaction 7) Use Silence Strategically ↳ Pause. Let things land. ↳ Space invites truth 8) Call Out Courage ↳ "Thanks for being honest with me" ↳ Vulnerability deserves recognition 9) Keep the Bigger Picture in View ↳ "Let’s remember why we’re here" ↳ Shared purpose realigns 10) Zoom In ↳ "What exactly are we solving?" ↳ Specifics defuse drama 11) Offer Reassurance ↳ "We’ll figure this out together" ↳ Confidence is contagious 12) De-escalate with Empathy ↳ "That makes sense—you’re not alone" ↳ Validation cools the fire 13) Ask for Feedback ↳ "How could I have handled this better?" ↳ Openness invites openness 14) Check for Emotion ↳ "How are you feeling right now?" ↳ Feelings often speak louder than facts 15) Break it Into Steps ↳ "Let’s take this one piece at a time" ↳ Simplicity calms chaos 16) Share What You’re Learning ↳ "This is teaching me a lot" ↳ Humility connects 17) Own the Outcome ↳ "Here’s what I commit to doing" ↳ Integrity builds trust 18) Repeat What Matters ↳ "Just to be clear, you’re saying…" ↳ Listening is leadership 19) Choose the Right Time ↳ "Is now a good time for this talk?" ↳ Timing shapes tone 20) Close With Care ↳ "I appreciate you talking this through" ↳ Endings leave lasting impressions 21) Keep the Door Open ↳ "Let’s keep this dialogue going" ↳ Safety means being available Hard conversations aren’t supposed to be easy. They’re designed to transform us. Approach them with presence (not force). ♻️ Please repost to promote presence over avoidance. 🙂 Follow Marco Franzoni for more.

Would you like a technique to help keep your emotions and communications in check during meetings? In your minds eye, imagine yourself getting ready to present at an important event then your phone rings, you answer it, and you end up hearing some really bad news. What would you do to compose yourself? You’re on in 5 more minutes. That type of scenario is real, I’ve experienced it and so have a lot of other individuals. Bad news BEFORE a presentation is challenging enough, but what about something that triggers your emotions negatively DURING an important meeting, perhaps by a  colleague saying something upsetting or that makes you feel angry. What can you do to keep your emotions in check? First, remove the emotion and instead consider what's being said. Avoid taking it personally and clarify the meaning with a question. And an effective technique is to focus your mind on something in the room that is factual, e.g. look at the wall and silently tell yourself what color it is, or count the number of people in the room. This will reset your brain, giving you a chance to calm down while keeping your emotions, and more importantly, your REPUTATION intact. Whether you feel triggered in a sales call, performance review, interview, or team meeting you only need to “act cool” for a few moments before the feelings will pass. Use the "brain reset" technique and you get to keep your shining reputation! #communicationtraining #leadership #emotionalintelligence