Practicing Empathetic Feedback

I got to train 75 managers in how to hold Tough Conversations and how to Lead with Emotional Intelligence this week. One of the hardest moments they identified was when a team member shared a situation with a strong emotion like, 💬 "I just applied for a promotion and didn't get it again." or 💬"I've been waiting for 6 months for a development opportunity and am still waiting." or 💬"I'm struggling with personal challenges at home." The initial reaction was to want to say, "How can I help you navigate this?" or "How can I support?" These are great responses motivated to 1) help the person and 2) find a solution. But, people feel relief not because of what you do but because of the connection you make with them. In fact, jumping to a solution without acknowledging how they're feeling can intensify the feelings of being misunderstood or not supported. This is where empathy is so powerful. By taking a moment to make a statement to acknowledge the person's emotion they are feeling in the situation, we can help them feel seen, heard, and connected to. This might sound like, 💬"That's a really frustrating situation. I know how hard it is to go after an opportunity and not get it." or 💬"I know how much work you've put in to be selected for this opportunity. I'm sorry you haven't gotten the result you wanted." or 💬"I'd love to hear more. Are you willing to share with me about your situation?" By identifying with someone's emotion or asking questions to give them space to share how they're feeling, we create connection, build trust, show them support, and can help de-escalate the feelings they are experiencing. Do you have any tips for expressing empathy when a team member shares a hard situation or emotion? #leadershipdevelopment #emotionalintelligence #empathy

Empathy isn’t soft it’s a superpower. Used wrong, it burns leaders out. Here’s how to make it sustainable. Empathic orgs see more creativity, helping, resilience and less burnout and attrition. Employees (esp. Millennials/Gen Z) now expect it. Wearing the “empathy helmet” means you feel everyone’s highs and lows. Middle managers fry first. Caring ≠ self-sacrifice. The fix = Sustainable empathy Care without collapsing by stacking: self-compassion → tuned caring → practice. So drop the martyr mindset. • Notice your stress (name it) • Remember it’s human & shared • Talk to yourself like you would a friend • Ask for help model it and your team will too Why does this matter? Unchecked stress dulls perspective and spikes reactivity. When leaders absorb nonstop venting, next-day negativity rises and so does mistreatment. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Move 2: Tune your caring Two empathies: • Emotional empathy = feel their pain • Empathic concern = help relieve it Keep concern high, distress low. “Caring binds; sharing blinds.” How to tune (in the moment) • 60 seconds of breathing before hard talks • Validate without absorbing: “This is hard and it makes sense.” • Boundaries + presence: “I’m here. Let’s focus on next steps.” • Offer concrete help: “Here’s what we’ll try by Friday.” • Also share joy celebrate wins to refuel the tank Move 3: Treat empathy as a skill It’s trainable. Build emotional balance: shift from absorbing pain → generating care. Try brief compassion meditation (“May you be safe, well, at ease.”) and pre-regulate before tough conversations. Mini audit after tough chats Ask yourself: • How much did I feel with vs. care for? • What do they need long-term? • What will I do to help this week? A simple script 1. Validate: “I can see why this stings.” 2. Future: “Success looks like X.” 3. Action: “Let’s do Y by [date]; I’ll support with Z.” Team rituals that sustain you • Start meetings with “What help do you need?” • Normalize asking for support • Micro-celebrate progress weekly • Protect recovery blocks on calendars Self-compassion + tuned concern + practice = sustainable empathy. What’s one habit you’ll try this week to protect your energy and support your team?

Hate having tough feedback conversations? Use my EFM technique. It's gold. Here’s how it works 👇 I know it sucks having to give constructive feedback. It can feel really uncomfortable. But in most situations, it's necessary. And how you deliver it will either make or break your relationships. So leverage my proven EFM technique that works like a charm every time. 𝗘 - 𝗘𝗺𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗵𝘆 Start by empathizing with the other person to show that you understand their reality. This will remove any defensiveness you'd otherwise be met with. Ex. "I can certainly appreciate how busy things are right now and that you have a lot to juggle." 𝗙 - 𝗙𝗼𝗰𝘂𝘀 𝗜𝗻 This is where you hone in on the issue at hand, share a specific example and provide context around the consequence of not changing or how improving in this will better their situation (what's in it for them). Pro tip: Do not lead into this part with words like "but" or "however" as it will immediately discount what you just empathized with. Ex. "At the same time, I noticed that you haven't been focusing on the main priority we discussed last week which is creating unnecessary delays for our deadline. For example, in our status meeting yesterday, you shared updates around X, Y and Z where I was hoping to hear more about your progress on A. This is where I can also further support you if you're facing any roadblocks and ensure that we set you up for success on this key project." 𝗠 - 𝗠𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗱 At this point, you will share a recommendation on how you suggest moving forward and where you'll gain alignment from the other person. End with a 'yes' or 'no' question to ensure you get their commitment. This will allow you to hold them accountable should this happen again and you can bring it back to this conversation easily. Ex. "Moving forward, I recommend we review the time you're dedicating to your projects to ensure you're allocating the needed focus on your biggest priorities, both for your work and development goals. I can support you with this today or we can also book a separate meeting tomorrow to go through that. Does this work for you?" Are you ready to try this out? Let me know in the comments. You've got this 💪 If you found this helpful, follow for more and feel free to share with others ♻️ #hardconversations #corporate #communication #communicationtips

We’ve often heard it said that “feedback is the breakfast of champions.” But let me ask you this: How do you like your breakfast? Cold and tasteless? Hot and spicy? Or warm, rich, and satisfying? Feedback works the same way. It can either leave someone feeling discouraged or empowered. We all wear two hats. One as someone who gives feedback, and another as someone who receives it. Today, let’s focus on the giver’s role. How do you serve feedback in a way that doesn’t pull people down but helps them grow? 1. Be specific, not vague “You need to do better” isn’t very helpful. Try something like “In the last presentation, I noticed you stopped speaking halfway. What if you try writing your closing points down ahead of time so you can remember them?” Clear examples give people something concrete to work on. 2. Focus on behaviour, not identity Feedback should speak to actions, not character. Say “Your message wasn’t clearly communicated” rather than “You’re a bad communicator.” This helps the person hear the message without feeling personally attacked. 3. Highlight what’s working Acknowledge the positive things too. This shows that you see the whole picture, not just the mistakes, and it makes people more open to hearing what needs to improve. 4. Keep it private unless necessary Feedback is usually best given one-on-one. Public correction can feel humiliating. Only share it in group setting when it is truly necessary and will benefit the whole team. 5. Watch your body language and tone People pick up more from how you say something than the words themselves. Your tone and posture can either invite connection. 6. Balance honesty with empathy Be truthful without being harsh. Acknowledge the effort being made and speak from a place of care. Consider how you would want to hear the same message if the roles were reversed. 7. Time it right You can say the right thing at the wrong time. Unless it is urgent, wait for a moment when both of you are calm, focused, and open to conversation. At the end of the day, ask yourself this: Are you giving feedback that feeds growth or leaves someone empty? When given with clarity, care, and intention, feedback becomes more than correction. It becomes a gift. Choose to serve it well. Cheers, Your Presidential host Temi Badru #temibadru #eventhost #mc #voicesandfaces .

You can help others discover their #strengths and figure out where they might be getting in their own way. While we often refer to this as "#coaching," MIT management professor Edgar Schein simply calls this 🍄 #helping. 🍄 ❤️ In a recent post (link below) I shared some "unsolicited, positive #feedback" I'd received about the energy I put out into the world and the kind of impression I have made on people. It was rich and unexpected and entirely welcome. It also put wind in my sails. Providing this kind of feedback can help others recognize their strengths and nudge them towards capitalizing on those strengths and turning them into superpowers. For example, yesterday I had a conversation with a woman who shows up in the world with both #kindness and #power, and sometimes, she may over-dial on the kindness & empathy front, hurting her progress, which could actually diminish or limit her power. 💡 Sometimes the same things that are our strengths can also get in our own way if we over-dial on them. Self-awareness is key. But so is feedback.   Helping people recognize what's going on is a powerful gift. We often call this "coaching" and coaching can be formal or informal, depending on the context.   📖 MIT Management professor Edgar Schein wrote a book called Helping which gets into a three-step process for how to effectively coach, or "help" others:   ➡ Pure Inquiry, --> asking open-ended quesitons like "Where would you like to start?" or "What would you like to talk about?" or "What's on your mind?"   ➡ Diagnostic inquiry --> focusing the other person's attention on specific aspects of their story. This might be a reflection back about something they said, like "You seem really frustrated with your manger. What do you think is going on?"   ➡ Confrontational Inquiry --> when you challenge aspects of what the other person is saying. For example, "How might you be contributing to this problem?" or "It sounds like the tension on your team is heightened. How do you think the layoffs are playing a role?"   🌵 Take time at each stage and try to let the person you're talking to connect the dots and come up with their own creative solutions.   Deep down, we often know what's going on and how we might be holding ourselves back. If we don't, that's one of our blindspots. Sometimes we need someone else to help us open the door to that discovery. This is another form of "meeting of minds" and the richness that can result. My post on Unsolicited, Positive Feedback: https://lnkd.in/ewsdcfkt   Resources: 1) Edgar Schein - Helping: How to Offer, Give, and Recieve Help; 2) Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen -Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most; 3) Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen - Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well #growthmindset #learning #leadership #management