Understanding Emotional Responses

A senior manager I worked with used to pride himself on keeping emotions out of leadership decisions. Then during a major organizational restructure, his "rational" approach backfired spectacularly. In team meetings, his suppressed anxiety leaked out as sharp criticism. His unprocessed frustration with upper management showed up as dismissiveness toward his team's concerns. His unacknowledged grief about changing relationships manifested as resistance to collaboration. The irony? By ignoring his emotions, they were controlling his leadership more than ever. This experience taught him a crucial lesson about the first capability in our Teams Learning Library: Know & Grow Yourself. Emotional awareness helps leaders make more effective decisions. We introduced him to a simple practice: the Daily Emotional Weather Report. Each morning, he spent five minutes noting his emotions without judgment, just as he'd check the weather forecast. His entries looked like this: "Today I'm feeling anxious (7/10) about the budget presentation and hopeful (6/10) about the new team structure. Also noticing some resentment (4/10) about yesterday's last-minute changes." The transformation was remarkable. Simply naming emotions reduced their hidden influence on his decisions. In a particularly challenging conversation about timeline changes, he was able to acknowledge his frustration without letting it drive his response. He later told me: "Before this practice, emotions felt like disruptions to leadership. Now I realize they're information. When I acknowledge them consciously, they inform my decisions rather than take them over." Research supports this approach: leaders who process emotions regularly make more balanced decisions and connect more authentically with their teams during difficult periods. The practice takes five minutes but creates clarity that lasts all day. When you know your emotional weather, you can dress appropriately for the conditions ahead. 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁'𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗴𝗼-𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗲𝗰𝗵𝗻𝗶𝗾𝘂𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗱𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗺 𝗺𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀? 𝗦𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗽𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗲.

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫: "𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐲 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧."? This came up in a coaching conversation just this morning. What I offered: The idea that emotions are simply information means understanding that emotions aren't just things we feel—𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆'𝗿𝗲 𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗻𝗮𝗹𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽 𝘂𝘀 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀. Instead of seeing emotions as purely reactive or disruptive, we can view them as messages, offering insights into our needs, values, and environment. ➡ When we feel an emotion like anger, for example, it often points to a boundary that has been crossed or a value that’s been challenged. ➡ Sadness might signal a need for connection or an acknowledgment of loss. 𝗘𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀, 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗲, 𝗮𝗰𝘁 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗮 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗮𝘀𝘀, showing us what matters to us and helping us make decisions aligned with our well-being. By approaching emotions this way, we’re less likely to judge or suppress them. Instead, we can pause and ask, “𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙚𝙢𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙧𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙢𝙚?” 𝗜𝗻 𝗮 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝘅𝘁, 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗴𝗻𝗶𝘇𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗮𝘀 𝗶𝗻𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗯𝗲 𝗮 𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝘁𝗼𝗼𝗹 for decision-making, team dynamics, and fostering a positive work culture. ✅ Leaders who understand and acknowledge their own emotions—and those of their team members—can respond thoughtfully rather than reactively. ✅ This approach enhances emotional intelligence, allowing leaders to address concerns proactively, communicate with empathy, and build trust. ✅ By treating emotions as data points, leaders can better identify areas for improvement, resolve conflicts, and create an environment where employees feel valued, understood, and motivated. This makes it clear that 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗮𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝗮 𝗽𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝘀𝗸𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗴𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗻𝘀 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗲𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 and benefits the entire team. This can lead to more constructive responses, clearer communication, and better alignment with our goals and values. Embracing emotions as information also helps reduce the stigma around certain emotions, recognizing them as natural responses that bring valuable guidance.

YOU'VE GOT 99 METRICS (BUT FEELINGS AIN'T ONE) Ever notice how you'll obsess over a 2% dip in revenue but brush off a week of feeling "off"?   Founders are masters at tracking metrics.    We've got dashboards for everything -- except our inner world.   But what if you treated your emotional data with the same rigor as your KPIs?   Go beyond the shallow "how are you feeling" check-ins.    And the vague "I'm fine" responses.   I'm talking about really knowing your feelings -- understanding the difference between being "tired" versus "depleted," between "stressed" versus "overwhelmed," between "disappointed" versus "discouraged."   In case no one told you in “startup school”: your emotional intelligence is as crucial to your biz as your business intelligence.   So here’s some helpful due diligence you can do in the service of your own mental health:   START WITH "I FEEL" STATEMENTS. Not "I think" or "I believe."    Get specific about the emotion.    There’s a lot of power in naming feelings.    You can’t truly address them until you’ve accurately identified them.   LISTEN DEEPLY. Not just to your team, but to yourself.    Often the insight you need isn't in what's being said but in what's beneath it.    Turn that legendary problem-solving brain toward understanding, not fixing.   PRACTICE RADICAL SELF-EMPATHY. You wouldn't judge your startup for having a rough quarter.    Why judge yourself for having a rough day?    Treat your emotional challenges with the same patience you bring to the work ones. Your feelings are a lot smarter than you're giving them credit for. How about you give ‘em a listen? Curious to hear what everyone thinks about showing feelings in the workplace? *** I'm Jennifer Kamara, founder of Kamara Life Design. Follow me for actionable strategies to design businesses and lives with meaning.

In a recent coaching session, a founder I was working with sat visibly frustrated, unable to articulate what they were feeling. This scenario is all too common in my practice, where challenges extend beyond leadership to the fundamental ability to understand and express emotions. Emotions surface in two primary ways: 1. “𝐁𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐦-𝐮𝐩” 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 — where the physical sensations in our body clue us into our emotional state. 2. “𝐓𝐨𝐩-𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧” 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 — where our mental awareness, triggered by events like a setback or rejection, evoke emotional responses that resonate throughout our body. This founder was reacting to feedback, a “top-down” trigger, and feeling a disconnect between their self-perception and the feedback received. Despite all their notable achievements and their ability to understand incredibly complex subjects, they still struggled to feel, process and understand their emotions. This emotion-sensation wheel, created by artist and psychotherapist Lindsay Braman, has been invaluable here. It closes the gap between physical sensations and cognitive understanding, helping to identify, name, and express emotions more effectively. Why does this matter? Emotional intelligence not only sharpens decision-making but also cultivates empathy and resilience. Two qualities deeply important when it comes to effective leadership. I invite you to reference this visual tool and let it guide you the next time you’re struggling to make sense of your emotions. I hope you find it useful.

When you notice a spike in emotion, avoid the urge to rush past it. Instead, pause and gently trace the whole arc of your experience: Trigger → Feeling → Reaction → Hidden Meaning → Reset Ask yourself: What message was my body or mind trying to send at that moment? Research in neuroscience and emotional psychology (Gross, Barrett, et al.) reminds us that emotional surges aren’t random; they are signals pointing to concerns about safety, fairness, and belonging, especially in professions where stakes are high and change is ongoing. Application for Interpreters (during times of collective challenge and transformation): After difficult sessions, or when uncertainty about the profession’s direction weighs on you, create space for debriefing, alone, with trusted colleagues, or in your personal reflections. Try asking: “What did this feeling reveal about my need for safety, justice, or alignment?” Right now, many in our interpreting community are navigating heated discussions, shifting policies, and questions of leadership and values. Emotional reactivity isn’t weakness, it’s evidence of unmet needs and vital values. Studies by Gross, Barrett, and others show that nurturing emotional awareness (instead of suppressing strong feelings) strengthens our agility and clarity. By normalizing and welcoming a full range of reactions, anger, fear, hope, frustration, we foster both personal and professional resilience. This is especially important in times of turbulence, when many are searching for healing and stability. The Healing Path Forward: If you’ve felt more emotional spikes or uncertainty than usual, you are not alone. Our field is experiencing a season of change and debate, which impacts us all. Turning toward your reactions with gentle curiosity, asking, "What is this feeling telling me?" can be a source of healing. In honoring these emotions, we discover ways to support one another, realign with our values, and build integrity even amidst uncertainty. Through collective reflection and personal care, interpreters can move through adversity and find deeper wellbeing, together.

What are your emotions saying to you lately? 🤔💭 Emotions are not negative or positive. They’re signals trying to lead us in the right direction, based on our values & beliefs. Taking a moment to listen to our feelings can be incredibly powerful. As a therapist, I remind my clients that understanding your emotions (even the uncomfortable ones) is one of the keys to emotional well-being. Emotions can hold wisdom–but they shouldn’t necessarily dictate your actions. But it’s always helpful to tune in! 🔸 Here are some practical tips to help you tune in: 1️⃣ Practice mindfulness: Take a few deep breaths and observe your emotions without judgment. 2️⃣ Journaling: Write down your thoughts and feelings to gain clarity and insight. 3️⃣ Reach out for support: Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist about what you're experiencing. 4️⃣ Engage in self-care: Take time for activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul. 5️⃣ Prioritize boundaries: Set limits to protect your emotional well-being and honor your needs. Let's embark on this journey of self-discovery together. 🌟 #whatfeelingstellus #emotionalhealth #emotionalwellness #mentalhealthtips #therapist #mentalhealthawareness #drchinwewilliams

Name the core emotion, and address it directly. One of my clients was feeling scattered in our session, where he had a lot of nervous energy and was working on a lot of things on his to-do list, but didn't feel like he was making progress. When I observed that he was feeling scattered and anxious, he agreed. So I asked him "What are you feeling anxious about? What are you worried is happening or not happening?" He paused to consider the question, and realized that he was concerned that his team wasn't aligned with the big picture vision he had for them. As soon as he stated that, his brain started ticking off how to address that concern: he was going to communicate the vision more clearly, he was going to tie each person's responsibilities to that vision, etc. But the key moment was condensing the feeling of anxiety into a specific problem to be addressed. And that started with naming the emotion and digging into its concerns. Emotions are signals from our body that there is some need that is not being met. But they are nonverbal signals that send our body into loops of automatic reactions unless we consciously interrupt our patterns. My client's default response to anxiety was to go into action, so he started working on his to-do list to feel busy and productive, but it wasn't addressing the core need. This translation of emotions into conscious action is why mindfulness and emotional intelligence are valuable skills to develop. When we can interrupt our automatic reaction patterns, we can break out of our unconscious loops by feeling the core emotion fully and directly addressing its needs. What emotions have been driving your actions recently? How can you interrupt your unconscious reactive loops to find the unaddressed needs lying underneath those emotions?

When one of our first projects was shut down by the city, I wasn’t frustrated or sad. I was angry. But it took me years to recognize that. Learning to identify our emotions is crucial, because acting on impulse is one of the worst things we can do. As a first-time CEO and business owner, I’ve done it more times than I’d like to admit. The real challenge for me was figuring out how I was actually feeling. Was I sad? Frustrated? Anxious? Scared? Or genuinely angry? Each emotion demands a different reaction. Understanding ourselves and knowing how to identify our emotions is vital, not just for leaders but for parents, spouses, and everyone else. For example, I gauge the intensity of my day by how much I walk around. When I’m angry, I can’t stay still or sit in front of my laptop. Instead, I walk, breathe and think about solutions at hand. When I'm sad, I try to spend more time with my daughters to disconnect. But during each one of them, I try to feel and process that emotion. A colleague told me yesterday, “Mike, I admire your ability not to act on impulse.” That meant a lot because I usually don’t get angry. And when I do, I’ve learned to quickly recognize the cause. My trick is simply keep asking myself “Why?” until I dig deep enough to uncover the root of the problem. Maybe I’m an odd dog, but I think we all need to learn how to identify and process our emotions earlier in life. It’s a skill that can make us better leaders, parents, and partners. What's your relationship with anger? How do you deal with it?