Navigating Emotional Change

I’ve found myself navigating meetings when a colleague or team member is emotionally overwhelmed. One person came to me like a fireball, angry and frustrated. A peer had triggered them deeply. After recognizing that I needed to shift modes, I took a breath and said, “Okay, tell me what's happening.” I realized they didn’t want a solution. I thought to myself: They must still be figuring out how to respond and needed time to process. They are trusting me to help. I need to listen. In these moments, people often don’t need solutions; they need presence. There are times when people are too flooded with feelings to answer their own questions. This can feel counterintuitive in the workplace, where our instincts are tuned to solve, fix, and move forward. But leadership isn’t just about execution; it’s also about emotional regulation and providing psychological safety. When someone approaches you visibly upset, your job isn’t to immediately analyze or correct. Instead, your role is to listen, ground the space, and ensure they feel heard. This doesn't mean abandoning accountability or ownership; quite the opposite. When people feel safe, they’re more likely to engage openly in dialogue. The challenging part is balancing reassurance without minimizing the issue, lowering standards, or compromising team expectations. There’s also a potential trap: eventually, you'll need to shift from emotional containment to clear, kind feedback. But that transition should come only after the person feels genuinely heard, not before. Timing matters. Trust matters. If someone is spinning emotionally, be the steady presence. Be the one who notices. Allow them to guide the pace. Then, after the storm passes, and only then, you can invite reflection and growth. This is how you build a high-trust, high-performance culture: one conversation, one moment of grounded leadership at a time.

One thing I’ve learned from coaching leaders — and from being alive for 53 years — is that plans rarely go as planned. The timeline shifts. A key player leaves. Priorities pivot. And how you respond makes all the difference—to your results, your relationships, and your resilience. Flexibility is about showing up—curious, calm, and ready to shift when needed. The most successful professionals I know build their mental and emotional flexibility like they would their physical flexibility. Want to strengthen yours? Try this: 1. Shake up your routine on purpose. New coffee shop. Different order of tasks. Eat breakfast before checking your email. (You can do it — I believe in you!) Just to stay limber. 2. When change hits, name your emotion before jumping into action (“I’m annoyed—and I’ve got this”). 3. Keep “Plan B” thinking on deck. Ask yourself: “If this doesn’t go as expected, then what?” 4. Don’t do it alone. A quick gut-check with a trusted colleague can help you reset faster and move forward smarter. 5. After the dust settles, ask: What did I learn? What would I do differently next time? What am I proud of? Plans may change. No, plans WILL change. You don’t have to fall apart with them. #resilience #emotionalintelligence #changemanagement

A knee-jerk reaction to team resistance might be: “Fire them all and start again.” But here’s the truth you probably don’t want to hear: Your team isn’t resisting change, they’re resisting you. That’s a tough pill to swallow, but let’s be honest, change rarely fails because the idea is bad. It fails because trust is broken and because you skipped the “why,” and fear filled the silence you left behind. When your team pushes back, here’s what they’re really saying: “I don’t trust where this is going.” “No one asked me.” “I’m scared, and I don’t feel safe saying that out loud.” “You’ve changed things before and left us to clean up the mess.” Change is emotional, human, and messy. So if you want real buy-in? Don’t start with a strategy deck, start with your people. Here’s how: 1️⃣ Ask Invite input early. Before rolling out a change, ask your team what they think. What are their worries? What would make this easier for them? Use open-ended questions like: “What do you see as the biggest challenge here?” “How do you think this change could help us?” 2️⃣ Listen Really listen. Don’t just nod along, take notes, ask clarifying questions, and reflect back what you’re hearing. Acknowledge the emotion: “It sounds like you’re worried about how this will impact your workload. That’s a valid concern.” 3️⃣ Validate Show you value their perspective. Even if you can’t act on every suggestion, let them know their voice matters. Be transparent about any constraints. Make the change with them, not to them. Co-create solutions. Let the team own parts of the process. When things get tough, solve problems together, not in isolation. And when things get bumpy? Because they will: ✅ Celebrate the tiny wins, because they matter more than you think. ✅ Talk about the challenges and fix them together. When leaders try to solve the bumpiness alone, they leave their team feeling lost at sea. And let’s be honest, that’s a tough place to be left alone. So bring your team into the journey, or at least keep them in the discussion. My rule is simple: If it impacts them, communicate, don’t hide. Want to drive change that actually sticks? Start with trust, not tactics.

🌊 Riding the Emotional Waves at Work 🌊 How to Hold Space Without Losing Control Ever felt a team member break down mid-conversation, leaving you unsure whether to comfort, solve, or simply sit still? Emotions at work are real, raw, and often unexpected. The question isn’t 𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝑰 𝒔𝒂𝒚? 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑯𝒐𝒘 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝑰 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒑 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒔𝒖𝒑𝒑𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒆𝒅? ✨Welcome to the art of 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭—𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒌𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚 𝒄𝒐𝒂𝒄𝒉, 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒂𝒈𝒆𝒓, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒔 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒇𝒆𝒘 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒂𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕. 📖 Emotional containment isn’t about fixing problems or suppressing emotions. It’s about holding space for someone to process their feelings without making it about you, them, or the 'solution' Here’s a quick DOs and DON’Ts guide for mastering this: DO: ✅Acknowledge Emotions: 𝐼 𝑠𝑒𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑠 ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑑 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢; 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒. ✅Stay Calm and Centered: 𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑦 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑏𝑒 𝑔𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛. ✅Invite Reflection: 𝑊ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑑𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝑑 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑚𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑚𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡? DON’T: ❌Over-Sympathize: 𝑂ℎ 𝑛𝑜, 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝑎𝑤𝑓𝑢𝑙! 𝐼 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑠𝑜 𝑏𝑎𝑑 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢! ❌Minimize: 𝐼𝑡’𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑏𝑎𝑑—𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑠ℎ𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑖𝑡 𝑜𝑓𝑓. ❌Rush to Fix: 𝐻𝑒𝑟𝑒’𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑑𝑜 𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑜𝑙𝑣𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠. Why it Matters: For your team: It fosters trust, safety, and connection. For you: It builds emotional intelligence and enhances your leadership presence 🚀 Feeling unsure about how to apply this in real life? Struggling to balance empathy and authority in tough conversations? Let me guide you. As a coach with years of experience helping leaders navigate emotional dynamics, I’ll help you turn these moments into opportunities for trust and transformation. 💌 Learn this Art & unlock your full potential as a leader who leads with empathy, resilience, and strength. 📌 Let’s make your next emotional conversation one that inspires—not overwhelms. #coaching #leadershipcoaching #emotionalcontainment #conversationtips

Change feels personal even when it’s happening at scale. People react in all kinds of ways: frustration, fear, resistance, silence. As leaders, it’s easy to focus on helping others navigate those emotions. But sometimes the most important work starts with checking our own. · Where are you feeling unsure, but hiding it behind urgency? · Where are you defaulting to control, instead of curiosity? · Where are you expecting others to adapt, while avoiding your own discomfort? These blind spots aren’t flaws. They’re just things we haven’t looked at closely yet. And in times of change, they can quietly shape how we lead. Before you move the plan forward, pause and take a look inward. That’s where real change leadership begins. __ #ChangeLeadership #SelfAwareness #LeadingWithEmpathy #NSPandCo

Ever have that moment where you look up from your laptop and think, This is not what I signed up for. You’ve had your head down, working hard, just trying to make it through the days and weeks. Then you stop. Blink. And start saying thinking: How did I end up here? This isn’t what I thought it was going to be. Is this as good as it gets? Is this even what I want? I don’t have any other options. I’ve been there for sure. That line of thinking can make you feel powerless and trapped. Which often leads to not making any changes. To burnout, dread, anxiety, and overwhelm. You end up abdicating your autonomy to your job. There are so many ways you can start making small shifts that add up to a completely different day-to-day emotional experience. Change in the right direction. Some ideas: 1️⃣ Reconnect with your values and goals: Take some time to reflect on what's important to you and what you hope to achieve in your career. It may not be the same as it was when you started out. Once you’ve done that, what needs to change to get in alignment with those values and goals? Start making changes one by one. 2️⃣ Focus on what you can control: It's easy to feel overwhelmed or frustrated by the things that are outside of your control, such as organizational policies and politics, supervisors, colleagues, clients, trends in your industry, or the job market. Instead of focusing on these external factors, focus on the things that you can control, such as your own mindset, work habits, and actions. 3️⃣ Identify areas for growth: It’s possible that you aren’t being challenged enough or that your professional growth has stalled or that you are bored with what you are currently doing. Where can you add or take advantage of some opportunities for growth and development? 4️⃣ Build in time for rest: It’s hard to get unstuck when you are going full speed all. the. time. Start building in some intentional slow downs. Create the space you need to assess your life. 5️⃣ Build relationships and community: When we are overworking, we neglect our need for human connection. Where can you build in more meaningful connection? 6️⃣ Ask yourself this → If you could wave a magic wand and change one thing about your current job, what would it be? Then, answer this → How can I make that happen without a magic wand? 7️⃣ Get coached. I know what it is like to look up and feel lost about where you are and how you got there. Getting coached helped me make significant changes to the way my life looked and felt (and those tools are still helping me do that every single day). ❔How are you feeling about your job and your life right now?

Navigating life's inevitable changes is complex, often uncomfortable, yet essential for personal growth. This Harvard Business Review article delves into the concept of "identity paralysis," a term used to describe the struggle of moving on from past identities to embrace new ones, which can leave us feeling stuck, frustrated, and hopeless. Here are strategies for overcoming identity paralysis, backed up by research: (1) Mark a Distinct Break with the Past. Create a symbolic event that signifies the end of an old chapter. Whether it's a significant birthday, a new birth, or another milestone, these moments can help you acknowledge the transition and start anew. (2) Craft a Compelling Personal Narrative. Link your past to your present by shaping a story that connects the two. This narrative should be authentic and shareable, helping you and others understand your journey and the reasons behind the changes. (3) Acknowledge and Work Through Emotions. It's important to recognize and address the emotions tied to your past identity. By understanding and processing these feelings, you can prevent them from hindering your transition to a new self. I'd add an additional tip, based on my work and experience: embrace curiosity in the face of change. Curiosity encourages us to view challenging transitions as opportunities for learning and growth rather than threats. This mindset can transform the way we approach new identities, making us more open to experimentation and less fearful of failure. Encouraging curiosity about oneself and one’s potential can indeed pave the way for smoother transitions by fostering a more flexible and adaptable approach to change. Embracing these strategies can lead to a healthier adjustment to new roles and identities, promoting personal development and well-being. Whether you're transitioning careers, roles, or overcoming personal trials, remember: change, though challenging, is a pathway to growth, and curiosity can be your guide. #HumanResources #Innovation #Growth #Reflection #Career #Leadership #Awareness https://lnkd.in/es7G5atn

Change is messy, isn’t it? Change management plans might look good on screen, but emotions like uncertainty, frustration, or even fear are where these can unravel. The truth is, you can’t shift an organisation without addressing the hearts and minds of the people in it. 🧠 That’s where the SCARF™ model can help. In my latest article for IABC Catalyst, I explore this simple, brain-based framework that helps leaders and change communication professionals turn emotional resistance into engagement. SCARF focuses on five emotional drivers (status, certainty, autonomy, relatedness, and fairness) influencing how people respond to change and social contexts. 💡 Why does this matter? Because when you tap into these drivers, you help people feel seen, valued, and supported. That’s what can turn hesitation into engagement and make change possible. 👉 If you’re leading through change, take a few minutes this weekend to explore this framework. It’s practical, relatable, and could help you connect with your people at a deeper level. Link to article in comments 👇 #change #transformation #leadership #brainbased #communication #IABC

𝐍𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐎𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐦 Recently, I've been studying abnormal psychology, which has deepened my understanding of the biological and psychological factors contributing to an individual's vulnerability to anxiety and panic. Reflecting on my teenage years, I remember how coping with accumulating stress of being in a dysfunctional family pushed me to a point where I felt so overwhelmed and stuck. Today, as a positive psychology trainer, I advocate for a balanced approach, recognizing that life's challenges can sometimes be overwhelming, even to the point of suffocation for some people. People often ask how I manage during such times. Here are strategies I personally find effective: 1. 𝐀𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐄𝐦𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐍𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 Negative emotions signal underlying issues, prompted by specific events. Approach your feelings with curiosity, not judgment, to understand your perceptions and emotions better. 2. 𝐅𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥 Identify what's within your control, what you can influence, and what's beyond your grasp. Awareness of your triggers is crucial; surprisingly, we're often most affected by elements out of our control. 3. 𝐄𝐧𝐠𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐔𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐀𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬 While navigating through negative emotions, find ways to alleviate their intensity by intentionally eliciting positive emotions. This could be through walking, practicing deep breathing, expressing gratitude, leveraging your strengths to tackle challenges, or confiding in trusted individuals. For those recovering from past trauma or dealing with intense negative emotions, remember: ➡️ Your past does not define you. ➡️ Your worth and identity go beyond any trauma. ➡️ You are enough! I hope these reflections offer comfort or insight to those in need. You matter. The difficult experiences from our past can also promote growth and resilience. Wishing you a Happy Wednesday! And if don’t feel happy, that's perfectly okay too! Just accept the negative emotions non-judgmentally. We are just humans 🙂 Reflection: How might you tap into that inner strength you carry, even on days when it feels like it's hidden from your view? #positivepsychology #beinghuman

Last year, I stood at a crossroad. Leaving the familiar warmth of Kenya for the unknown chill of Canada was a daunting change. Fear gnawed at me, but there was also a thrilling sense of possibility. I had to learn to navigate a new culture and build everything from scratch. This experience taught me a powerful lesson: change, though disruptive, is often the catalyst for incredible growth. And as leaders, guiding our teams through change can feel just as unsettling. Mergers, new technologies – the business world throws curveballs. It's easy to feel like you're clinging to a life raft in a storm, just trying to stay afloat. But what if, instead, you could be the lighthouse, illuminating the path forward? Here are some strategies I've learned to navigate change and keep my team inspired: • 𝗕𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 "𝗪𝗵𝘆" 𝗕𝗲𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲: People crave purpose. Clearly communicate the "why" behind the change, the vision for the future, and most importantly, your team's crucial role in achieving it. This fosters psychological safety – a space where your team feels comfortable taking risks and voicing concerns. • 𝗘𝗺𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝗧𝗿𝗮𝗻𝘀𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗰𝘆 (𝗘𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗜𝘁'𝘀 𝗦𝗰𝗮𝗿𝘆): We all crave predictability, but sometimes, the only constant is change. Be honest about what you know, what you don't, and the potential challenges ahead. This builds trust and allows your team to adapt alongside you. • 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗳 𝗦𝘁𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀: Stories resonate with us on a human level. Share personal experiences or relevant industry examples to illustrate the benefits of the change. This emotional connection helps increase acceptance. • 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗘𝗺𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗵𝘆: Change can be tough. Acknowledge the emotional impact on your team. Be a listening ear and address concerns with empathy. Building emotional intelligence (EQ) allows you to connect with your team and celebrate small wins along the way. Change is inevitable. But with the right approach, it can be an opportunity for incredible growth. #leadership #changemanagement #communication #motivation #emotionalintelligence #EQ #NLP