Building Emotional Agility in Fast-Paced Environments

My husband just left me... For four days for a business trip. So it will be me and the three (our kids) until this weekend. Y'all see how that subject line put you on alert? That's the same thing that happens when you text or email your team member: "Hey" "Call me." "Are you free?" "We need to talk." "See me when you get in." "Stop by my office before you leave." "Let's put some time on the calendar." Without any explanation, you're leaving folks hanging. Context matters. Don't have your employees wondering if they did something wrong or, worse yet, that they're being let go simply because you've neglected to articulate the "why" behind your request. Part of practicing high emotional intelligence is effectively communicating (relationship management) and understanding how your communication will affect others (social awareness). Leaders, don't unnecessarily increase your team's stress level because of short and unclear communication. I know you are busy, but please take a little time to add context. I promise your employees and colleagues will appreciate it. p.s. For real, pray for me as I parent these kids alone for the next several days! #Leadership #EmotionalIntelligence #wellbeing #PsychologicalSafety

“Let’s celebrate our differences!” — easy to say when you’ve never actually had to WORK through real differences. Here’s the thing: Real differences don’t feel like a celebration. They feel messy, uncomfortable, even threatening. 🧠 Our brains are hardwired to detect difference as potential danger. When someone thinks, works, or communicates differently than we do, our first instinct isn’t to embrace it—it’s to resist it. Recently, I worked with a team trapped in conflict for years. The problem wasn’t competence or commitment. It was cognitive diversity they didn’t know how to handle. 👉 One part of the team was task-focused—eager to get to the point and skip the relational aspects of collaboration. 👉 The other part was relationship-driven—prioritizing emotional connection and dialogue before diving into action. Celebrate their differences? Not likely. 🚫 The task-focused group saw the others as emotionally needy attention-seekers. 🚫 The relationship-driven group saw their counterparts as cold and disengaged. So, what changed everything? Not a shallow celebration of their diversity, but finding their common ground. 🚀 I used my D.U.N.R. Team Methodology to transform their conflict into collaboration: 1️⃣ D – Diversity: we explored their differences without judgment and recognized the strengths in both approaches. 2️⃣ U – Unity: we found their shared purpose—every one of them cared deeply about the team’s success, just in different ways. 3️⃣ N – Norms: we co-created practical norms that guided their interactions and set clear expectations. 4️⃣ R – Rituals: we introduced rituals to honor both styles while reducing friction and fostering collaboration. The real breakthrough? Not pretending their differences were easy, but building bridges through shared values. My honest take: If you’ve truly worked through real differences, you know it’s not about celebrating them—it’s about navigating them with care and intentionality. 💡 Celebrate your common ground first.  That’s how you unlock the power of team diversity. What’s your experience with managing real differences on a team? 🔔 Follow me for more insights on inclusive, high-performing teams. ___________________________________________________ 🌟 If you're new here, hi! :) I’m Susanna. I help companies build an inclusive culture with high-performing and psychologically safe teams.

Many of us spend as much time with our coworkers as we do with our families. It’s not a surprise that we can recreate a mirror of what we experienced growing up. The supportive mentor reminds us of a nurturing parent, while the demanding boss may feel like the parent with high expectations. This mirroring can happen in both positive and negative ways, influencing how we perceive authority, how comfortable we are expressing our needs, and how we navigate conflict. When we carry our family-of-origin expectations into the office, we’re predisposed to react. For example, if we grew up feeling responsible for taking care of everyone, we might become the team member who supports everyone else’s efforts. Conversely, someone who grew up in a very critical environment might bristle at feedback or perceive it as personal attack. These patterns can feel strangely comfortable and familiar, and sometimes they can serve us well by helping us form strong bonds work and people. Other times, they may lead to conflict or burnout if we’re unable to detach from the patterns. The trouble is when we rely on our workplace for affirmation, emotional safety, or guidance that only a family (whether biological, chosen, or otherwise) is equipped to give. No matter how progressive or empathetic a work environment, it can never replace the depth of support we ideally receive from a family. A workplace’s main goal is tied to organizational objectives, performance, and the almighty Dollar. While caring teams and supportive leaders can and do exist (I aspire to be one), these qualities typically serve the broader mission of the organization rather than the consistent emotional care that families can provide. At some point in your life, this awareness may dawn on you. If you are fortunate, you might realize that your inward journey of growth is important. By understanding our triggers and expectations we can learn to build work relationships with more self-awareness and less reactivity.

Last year, I stood at a crossroad. Leaving the familiar warmth of Kenya for the unknown chill of Canada was a daunting change. Fear gnawed at me, but there was also a thrilling sense of possibility. I had to learn to navigate a new culture and build everything from scratch. This experience taught me a powerful lesson: change, though disruptive, is often the catalyst for incredible growth. And as leaders, guiding our teams through change can feel just as unsettling. Mergers, new technologies – the business world throws curveballs. It's easy to feel like you're clinging to a life raft in a storm, just trying to stay afloat. But what if, instead, you could be the lighthouse, illuminating the path forward? Here are some strategies I've learned to navigate change and keep my team inspired: • 𝗕𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 "𝗪𝗵𝘆" 𝗕𝗲𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲: People crave purpose. Clearly communicate the "why" behind the change, the vision for the future, and most importantly, your team's crucial role in achieving it. This fosters psychological safety – a space where your team feels comfortable taking risks and voicing concerns. • 𝗘𝗺𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝗧𝗿𝗮𝗻𝘀𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗰𝘆 (𝗘𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗜𝘁'𝘀 𝗦𝗰𝗮𝗿𝘆): We all crave predictability, but sometimes, the only constant is change. Be honest about what you know, what you don't, and the potential challenges ahead. This builds trust and allows your team to adapt alongside you. • 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗳 𝗦𝘁𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀: Stories resonate with us on a human level. Share personal experiences or relevant industry examples to illustrate the benefits of the change. This emotional connection helps increase acceptance. • 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗘𝗺𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗵𝘆: Change can be tough. Acknowledge the emotional impact on your team. Be a listening ear and address concerns with empathy. Building emotional intelligence (EQ) allows you to connect with your team and celebrate small wins along the way. Change is inevitable. But with the right approach, it can be an opportunity for incredible growth. #leadership #changemanagement #communication #motivation #emotionalintelligence #EQ #NLP

Communication is tricky—our words pass through layers of emotions, tone, and assumptions before reaching other people's ears. What we say in our heads often comes out differently in conversation....causing havoc! The slightest misstep in tone or choice of words can completely change the meaning of what we’re trying to say. And this can trigger a negative response in the people around us. This is a BIG problem when it comes to organizations and teamwork. According to Gallup and other studies, miscommunication is a huge source of conflict and inefficiency. However, companies don't have to put up with this problem....not if they invest in developing emotional intelligence (EQ) skills. EQ prevents miscommunication-induced conflict in many ways- as speakers and listeners. First, it helps us recognize and manage our own emotions, allowing us to stay calm and composed even in challenging conversations, which reduces the likelihood of reactive, unclear communication. Second, it enhances our ability to empathize with others, enabling us to better understand their perspectives and respond in ways that are more likely to be received positively. One of the things I've noticed in my EQ coaching sessions is that people's communication skills improve when they realize that effective communication is not just about clarity; it's also about empathy. It's about understanding that your message lives in the mind of the listener, and that your job is to make sure it arrives there intact, not distorted by misinterpretation or confusion. Some tips I give my clients: 👉 Next time you are speaking with someone, ask yourself if you are sure that what you said is what was heard? 👉 Take a step back and reflect on how others might be perceiving your words. 👉 Then, decide if you need to clarify, check-in or adapt your approach. This shift in perspective—from thinking about what you're saying to thinking about how it's being received—can transform your interactions and help you build stronger, more meaningful connections 🚀 Image source: https://lnkd.in/e7H6MEfR #communciationskills #communication #emotionalintelligence #miscommunication #learninganddevelopment

"One of my direct reports is neurodiverse and I want to support her, but her needs are beyond what I have the bandwidth to handle, and I also feel like it's unfair to the others on my team." This is what a senior leader shared with me during our coaching sessions. Korn Ferry Institute estimates that 20% of the workforce could be neurodiverse. In my work with senior leaders, I am seeing more and more cases of leaders asking for help with team members who identify as neurodiverse. If that's you, the following are some tips: 1. Speak to the person to understand how her condition shows up Autism, for instance, is called a spectrum disorder because its characteristics are so varied. The same is true of the other conditions. Whether it's because we don't know it well enough, or individual personalities and upbringing exert a strong influence, when you meet one neurodiverse individual, that's all you've met - one. So take the time to learn from your direct report exactly how it shows up in her case. It'll enable you to respond appropriately, and she will appreciate your understanding. 2. Think different, not lesser Being different does not mean being less. Yes, your team member may need accommodations to do his best work. But this does NOT mean you should be expecting him to pull less weight. Find out what he does best. Like all forms of diversity, being different can mean unexpected strengths. For instance, autism brings unusual focus, ADHD creativity, dyslexia 3D thinking. Put him to work in his areas of strength. Set the expectation that he would contribute just much to the team as all his neurotypical counterparts. He will rise to it. 3. Accommodate collaboratively We all need accommodations. An introvert may need a quiet space for example. Think of the accommodations neurodiverse individuals need as the environmental or structural conditions needed for them doing their best work. Obviously, it may not always be possible to accommodate them as they'd like to be accommodated. In such situations, I always ask the leaders to address with with the neurodiverse individual as well as the rest of the team. Humans are amazing in their capacity for adaptation. By putting their minds together, people can often come up with collaborative solutions that bring their strengths creatively together. One autistic finance director sends all his important emails to his neurotypical sales counterpart to check for tone of voice. In return, he helps the sales director check all his numbers for his reports. They are both VERY happy. Accommodation shouldn't be about the team putting up with the neurodiverse person. Ensure it's win-win for everyone. Hope these short tips can be of help in bringing out the best of your neurodiverse team members. PM me "neurodiversity" if you'd like more information on other strategies you can use. #neurodiversity #neurodiverse #peopledevelopment #leadership

Reacting impulsively to hurtful remarks can be a cycle that traps us, especially in the high-pressure environment of the corporate world. But what if there's an alternative? Picture this: taking an emotional detour, finding balance and self-awareness. Imagine navigating the workplace with a sense of calm and poise, even when faced with challenging interactions. This is the journey of mindful non-reaction and its profound impact on your emotional well-being. In the fast-paced corporate world, getting caught in the trap of immediate reactions is easy. A colleague's critical comment or a tense meeting can trigger an impulsive response, leading to unnecessary conflict and stress. But by embracing mindful techniques, you can break this cycle and foster a more harmonious work environment. 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞. 𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞. 𝐎𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞. When faced with a triggering moment, the first step is to pause. Take a deep breath and give yourself a moment to process the situation. This brief pause can be enough to prevent an impulsive reaction. Example: Imagine you're in a meeting, and a colleague makes a dismissive remark about your project. Instead of immediately defending yourself or reacting with frustration, take a moment to breathe. Observe your feelings without judgment. This pause allows you to respond thoughtfully, perhaps by asking for constructive feedback or clarifying your perspective calmly. 𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐓𝐞𝐜𝐡𝐧𝐢𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬: Mindful Breathing: Practice deep breathing exercises to centre yourself during stressful situations. This helps in reducing immediate emotional reactions. Reflective Listening: When someone makes a hurtful remark, listen to understand rather than to respond. This can diffuse tension and lead to more productive conversations. Empathy: Try to understand the person's perspective before making the remark. This can help you respond with compassion rather than defensiveness. Break the Cycle. By incorporating these techniques, you empower yourself to respond thoughtfully, breaking the escalating reaction cycle. This improves your emotional well-being and sets a positive example for your colleagues, fostering a more respectful and collaborative work environment. In conclusion, mindful non-reaction is a powerful tool in the corporate world. It enables you to navigate challenging interactions gracefully, enhancing your personal and professional life. Embrace this new approach and watch as it transforms your workplace dynamics. As a coach, I've seen firsthand the transformative power of mindfulness. It elevates your professional interactions and enriches your personal growth. If you're looking to cultivate a mindful approach in your professional life, I'm here to guide you on this journey. Together, we can create a work environment where calm, clarity, and compassion thrive. #MindfulLeadership #EmotionalIntelligence #CorporateWellbeing #ProfessionalGrowth #MindfulnessCoaching #CoachSharath

How to be less emotionally reactive Mindfulness and Self-Awareness: Practice mindfulness techniques to become more aware of your emotions and triggers. Notice when you're becoming emotionally reactive and take a moment to pause and reflect before responding. Emotion Regulation Techniques: Learn techniques such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or visualization to help calm your emotions in stressful situations. Cognitive Restructuring: Challenge negative or irrational thoughts that contribute to emotional reactivity. Reframe situations in a more positive or balanced light to reduce emotional intensity. Practice Empathy: Put yourself in the other person's shoes and try to understand their perspective. Developing empathy can help you respond with compassion rather than react impulsively. Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries to protect yourself from situations or people that trigger emotional reactions. Communicate your boundaries assertively and enforce them when necessary. Develop Coping Strategies: Build a toolbox of healthy coping strategies to manage stress and emotions, such as exercise, hobbies, journaling, or talking to a trusted friend or therapist. Take Breaks: If you feel overwhelmed or emotionally reactive, take a break from the situation to collect your thoughts and regain perspective. Step outside, go for a walk, or engage in a calming activity before returning to the conversation. Practice Assertive Communication: Express your thoughts and feelings assertively, but respectfully. Avoid passive or aggressive communication styles that can escalate conflict and trigger emotional reactions. Practice Patience: Cultivate patience and tolerance for uncertainty. Accept that you cannot control everything and that some situations may require time and patience to resolve. Seek Support: Reach out to friends, family, or a mental health professional for support and guidance in managing your emotions and becoming less emotionally reactive. Remember that becoming less emotionally reactive is a gradual process that takes time and practice. Be patient with yourself and celebrate small victories along the way. Dr.Shivani Sharma #emotionalintelligence

Change is messy, isn’t it? Change management plans might look good on screen, but emotions like uncertainty, frustration, or even fear are where these can unravel. The truth is, you can’t shift an organisation without addressing the hearts and minds of the people in it. 🧠 That’s where the SCARF™ model can help. In my latest article for IABC Catalyst, I explore this simple, brain-based framework that helps leaders and change communication professionals turn emotional resistance into engagement. SCARF focuses on five emotional drivers (status, certainty, autonomy, relatedness, and fairness) influencing how people respond to change and social contexts. 💡 Why does this matter? Because when you tap into these drivers, you help people feel seen, valued, and supported. That’s what can turn hesitation into engagement and make change possible. 👉 If you’re leading through change, take a few minutes this weekend to explore this framework. It’s practical, relatable, and could help you connect with your people at a deeper level. Link to article in comments 👇 #change #transformation #leadership #brainbased #communication #IABC

𝐍𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐎𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐦 Recently, I've been studying abnormal psychology, which has deepened my understanding of the biological and psychological factors contributing to an individual's vulnerability to anxiety and panic. Reflecting on my teenage years, I remember how coping with accumulating stress of being in a dysfunctional family pushed me to a point where I felt so overwhelmed and stuck. Today, as a positive psychology trainer, I advocate for a balanced approach, recognizing that life's challenges can sometimes be overwhelming, even to the point of suffocation for some people. People often ask how I manage during such times. Here are strategies I personally find effective: 1. 𝐀𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐄𝐦𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐍𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 Negative emotions signal underlying issues, prompted by specific events. Approach your feelings with curiosity, not judgment, to understand your perceptions and emotions better. 2. 𝐅𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥 Identify what's within your control, what you can influence, and what's beyond your grasp. Awareness of your triggers is crucial; surprisingly, we're often most affected by elements out of our control. 3. 𝐄𝐧𝐠𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐔𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐀𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬 While navigating through negative emotions, find ways to alleviate their intensity by intentionally eliciting positive emotions. This could be through walking, practicing deep breathing, expressing gratitude, leveraging your strengths to tackle challenges, or confiding in trusted individuals. For those recovering from past trauma or dealing with intense negative emotions, remember: ➡️ Your past does not define you. ➡️ Your worth and identity go beyond any trauma. ➡️ You are enough! I hope these reflections offer comfort or insight to those in need. You matter. The difficult experiences from our past can also promote growth and resilience. Wishing you a Happy Wednesday! And if don’t feel happy, that's perfectly okay too! Just accept the negative emotions non-judgmentally. We are just humans 🙂 Reflection: How might you tap into that inner strength you carry, even on days when it feels like it's hidden from your view? #positivepsychology #beinghuman