Addressing Emotional Conflicts

“Let’s celebrate our differences!” — easy to say when you’ve never actually had to WORK through real differences. Here’s the thing: Real differences don’t feel like a celebration. They feel messy, uncomfortable, even threatening. 🧠 Our brains are hardwired to detect difference as potential danger. When someone thinks, works, or communicates differently than we do, our first instinct isn’t to embrace it—it’s to resist it. Recently, I worked with a team trapped in conflict for years. The problem wasn’t competence or commitment. It was cognitive diversity they didn’t know how to handle. 👉 One part of the team was task-focused—eager to get to the point and skip the relational aspects of collaboration. 👉 The other part was relationship-driven—prioritizing emotional connection and dialogue before diving into action. Celebrate their differences? Not likely. 🚫 The task-focused group saw the others as emotionally needy attention-seekers. 🚫 The relationship-driven group saw their counterparts as cold and disengaged. So, what changed everything? Not a shallow celebration of their diversity, but finding their common ground. 🚀 I used my D.U.N.R. Team Methodology to transform their conflict into collaboration: 1️⃣ D – Diversity: we explored their differences without judgment and recognized the strengths in both approaches. 2️⃣ U – Unity: we found their shared purpose—every one of them cared deeply about the team’s success, just in different ways. 3️⃣ N – Norms: we co-created practical norms that guided their interactions and set clear expectations. 4️⃣ R – Rituals: we introduced rituals to honor both styles while reducing friction and fostering collaboration. The real breakthrough? Not pretending their differences were easy, but building bridges through shared values. My honest take: If you’ve truly worked through real differences, you know it’s not about celebrating them—it’s about navigating them with care and intentionality. 💡 Celebrate your common ground first.  That’s how you unlock the power of team diversity. What’s your experience with managing real differences on a team? 🔔 Follow me for more insights on inclusive, high-performing teams. ___________________________________________________ 🌟 If you're new here, hi! :) I’m Susanna. I help companies build an inclusive culture with high-performing and psychologically safe teams.

Conflict is inevitable. How we manage it is both an art and a science. In my work with executives, I often discuss Thomas Kilmann's five types of conflict managers: (1) The Competitor – Focuses on winning, sometimes forgetting there’s another human on the other side. (2) The Avoider – Pretends conflict doesn’t exist, hoping it disappears (spoiler: it doesn’t). (3) The Compromiser – Splits the difference, often leaving both sides feeling like nobody really wins. (4) The Accommodator – Prioritizes relationships over their own needs, sometimes at their own expense. (5) The Collaborator – Works hard to find a win-win, but it takes effort. The style we use during conflict depends on how we manage the tension between empathy and assertiveness. (a) Assertiveness: The ability to express your needs, boundaries, and interests clearly and confidently. It’s standing your ground—without steamrolling others. Competitors do this naturally, sometimes too much. Avoiders and accommodators? Not so much. (b) Empathy: The ability to recognize and consider the other person’s perspective, emotions, and needs. It’s stepping into their shoes before taking a step forward. Accommodators thrive here, sometimes at their own expense. Competitors? They might need a reminder that the other side has feelings too. Balancing both is the key to successful negotiation. Here’s how: - Know your default mode. Are you more likely to fight, flee, or fold? Self-awareness is step one. - Swap 'but' for 'and' – “I hear your concerns, and I’d like to explore a solution that works for both of us.” This keeps both voices in the conversation. - Be clear, not combative. Assertiveness isn’t aggression; it’s clarity. Replace “You’re wrong” with “I see it differently—here’s why.” - Make space for emotions. Negotiations aren’t just about logic. Acknowledge emotions (yours and theirs) so they don’t hijack the conversation. - Negotiate the process, not just the outcome. If you’re dealing with a competitor, set ground rules upfront. If it’s an avoider, create a low-stakes way to engage. Great negotiators don’t just stick to their natural style—they adapt. Which conflict style do you tend to default to? And how do you balance empathy with assertiveness? #ConflictResolution #Negotiation #Leadership #Empathy #Assertiveness #Leadership #DecisionMaking

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗼 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗺 𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗵𝗶𝗴𝗵? “I’m just so frustrated” In a high EQ organization, you're likely to ✅ nod ✅ empathize ✅ move on. So politically correct. You've just checked the proverbial "engagement" checklist. Our organizations today are so geared to being perfunctory and efficient. But are they really frustrated? Or are they:  ❓ overwhelmed ❓ disappointed ❓ embarrassed ❓ resentful ❓ fearful? Each of these means a different root cause. When leading a team, understanding that difference can make or break how the situation unfolds. I came across fascinating psychological research on the topic of emotional granularity. (research journals in comments) It’s not labeling emotions only; it’s about getting specific in order to empathize well. It’s the difference between hearing “I’m stressed” and knowing whether that stress is rooted in fear, uncertainty or the pressure to perform. Can you tell the difference between an employee who’s “angry” because they feel undervalued versus one who’s “angry” because they’re burned out? When you get this right, everything changes ✅ team dynamics ✅ decision-making ✅ your ability to lead through crises. Leaders who practice emotional granularity are far better at managing conflict and fostering trust within their teams. When you can name emotions with precision—yours and others’—you create clarity. Clarity is the antidote to chaos. How Can Leaders Use Emotional Granularity? 1️⃣ Start With Yourself. Leaders who model emotional granularity are 30% more likely to inspire loyalty and engagement within their teams. Your emotions set the tone for your organization. Practice identifying and sharing what you’re really feeling in high-pressure moments. 2️⃣ Listen Beyond Words. When your team expresses emotions, dig deeper. Ask questions like, “What’s driving that frustration?” or “What do you think is at the root of this?” Often, what people say isn’t the full story. It's okay for them to be imprecise and unfamiliar initially as you shape their emotional expression fully. 3️⃣ Create a Culture of Emotional Precision Encourage your team to articulate their feelings with specificity. It doesn't have to be a therapy session, just holding space. 4️⃣ Use Emotional Granularity in Difficult Conversations. Whether it’s giving feedback or navigating conflict, being precise about emotions helps de-escalate tension and build trust. If handling emotions within your organization feels like navigating a minefield—let’s talk. --- Follow me Stuart Tan MSc., MBA for more insights on leadership and oirganizational development!

I've found empathy mapping most valuable during early project phases and presentations. Nothing convinces leadership to greenlight a project like showing them you truly understand your target audience's pain points. But, they're not for every situation. For straightforward projects with well-understood users, a quick check-in might be sufficient. The key is using empathy maps as tools for insight, not checkbox exercises. I've seen firsthand how they break down communication barriers between departments. The beauty of empathy mapping lies in its simplicity. The classic version has four quadrants – Says, Thinks, Does, and Feels — though I've found adding "Sees" and "Hears" can provide even more context for certain projects. What matters isn't the exact format but the conversations it sparks. Here's what works in my experience: - Start with a clear purpose. Are you trying to align your team around user needs? Inform a specific design decision? The goal shapes everything that follows. - Ground your map in reality. The most valuable maps come from actual user data – interviews, surveys, support tickets – not assumptions. I've watched teams realize how much they'd been projecting their own preferences onto users when confronted with real feedback. - Make it collaborative. Bring together people from different departments to fill out the map. The magic happens when your developer suddenly realizes why that feature the marketing team kept pushing for actually matters to users. - Keep it alive. The best empathy maps evolve as you learn more. I keep ours visible and revisit them regularly, especially when we're making crucial decisions.

🌍 The Real Reason Your Team Isn’t Connecting Might Surprise You 🛑 You’ve built a diverse team. Communication seems clear. Everyone speaks the same language. So why do projects stall? Why does feedback get misread? Why do brilliant employees feel misunderstood? Because what you’re facing isn’t a language barrier—it’s a cultural one. 🤔 Here’s what that looks like in real life: ✳ A team member from a collectivist culture avoids challenging a group decision, even when they disagree. ✳ A manager from a direct feedback culture gets labeled “harsh.” ✳ An employee doesn’t speak up in meetings—not because they don’t have ideas, but because interrupting feels disrespectful in their culture. These aren't missteps—they’re misalignments. And they can quietly erode trust, engagement, and performance. 💡 So how do we fix it? Here are 5 ways to reduce misalignments and build stronger, more inclusive teams: 🧭 1. Train for Cultural Competence—Not Just Diversity Don’t stop at DEI 101. Offer immersive training that helps employees navigate different communication styles, values, and worldviews. 🗣 2. Clarify Team Norms Make the invisible visible. Talk about what “respectful communication” means across cultures. Set expectations before conflicts arise. 🛎 3. Slow Down Decision-Making Fast-paced environments often leave diverse perspectives unheard. Build in time to reflect, revisit, and invite global input. 🌍 4. Encourage Curiosity Over Judgment When something feels off, ask: Could this be cultural? This small shift creates room for empathy and deeper connection. 📊 5. Audit Systems for Cultural Bias Review how you evaluate performance, give feedback, and promote leadership. Are your systems inclusive, or unintentionally favoring one style? 🎯 Cultural differences shouldn’t divide your team—they should drive your innovation. If you’re ready to create a workplace where every team member can thrive, I’d love to help. 📅 Book a complimentary call and let’s talk about what cultural competence could look like in your organization. The link is on my profile. Because when we understand each other, we work better together. 💬 #CulturalCompetence #GlobalTeams #InclusiveLeadership #CrossCulturalCommunication #DEIStrategy

Inspired by The Culture Map by Erin Meyer, these tips will help you navigate cultural differences and lead with impact. 1️⃣ Acknowledge Communication Styles and your own biases   Some teams prefer direct feedback while others rely on context and nuance. Observe and adapt to your team’s natural style—your flexibility can bridge cultural divides. And always be self-aware of your unconscious biases. 2️⃣ Clarify Decision-Making Processes  In some cultures, decisions come top-down; in others, consensus rules. Align on expectations early to avoid misunderstandings and foster trust. 3️⃣ Embrace the Power of Listening  When language or norms differ, it’s tempting to fill the silence. Instead, step back, listen actively, and let diverse voices be heard. This creates psychological safety for all. 4️⃣ Respect Hierarchy (or Lack Thereof)  Hierarchical cultures value structure and formality; egalitarian teams thrive on open-door policies and direct collaboration. Tailor your leadership approach to get the best from each group. 5️⃣ Seek Common Ground  Highlight shared goals and purpose. Unifying around what matters most—whether it’s innovation, service, or impact—helps override cultural friction. The secret sauce? Adapt, learn, and stay curious. Cross-cultural leadership is a skill you can build—one conversation, one interaction at a time. Want more insights? Listen to my latest Positive Leadership Podcast episode with Erin Meyer: Unlocking the Secrets to Leading Across Borders with Erin Meyer: https://lnkd.in/eehCvFEv What’s been your biggest lesson in navigating cultural differences at work? Share below—I’d love to learn from your experiences! #PositiveLeadership #LeadershipTips #CulturalIntelligence #GlobalLeadership #TheCultureMap #ErinMeyer 

I’ve found myself navigating meetings when a colleague or team member is emotionally overwhelmed. One person came to me like a fireball, angry and frustrated. A peer had triggered them deeply. After recognizing that I needed to shift modes, I took a breath and said, “Okay, tell me what's happening.” I realized they didn’t want a solution. I thought to myself: They must still be figuring out how to respond and needed time to process. They are trusting me to help. I need to listen. In these moments, people often don’t need solutions; they need presence. There are times when people are too flooded with feelings to answer their own questions. This can feel counterintuitive in the workplace, where our instincts are tuned to solve, fix, and move forward. But leadership isn’t just about execution; it’s also about emotional regulation and providing psychological safety. When someone approaches you visibly upset, your job isn’t to immediately analyze or correct. Instead, your role is to listen, ground the space, and ensure they feel heard. This doesn't mean abandoning accountability or ownership; quite the opposite. When people feel safe, they’re more likely to engage openly in dialogue. The challenging part is balancing reassurance without minimizing the issue, lowering standards, or compromising team expectations. There’s also a potential trap: eventually, you'll need to shift from emotional containment to clear, kind feedback. But that transition should come only after the person feels genuinely heard, not before. Timing matters. Trust matters. If someone is spinning emotionally, be the steady presence. Be the one who notices. Allow them to guide the pace. Then, after the storm passes, and only then, you can invite reflection and growth. This is how you build a high-trust, high-performance culture: one conversation, one moment of grounded leadership at a time.

The remote work era demands a new approach to team leadership. With distributed work and hybrid setups becoming the norm, it’s time to re-evaluate traditional frameworks. Inspired by Patrick Lencioni’s "Five Dysfunctions of a Team," I adapted it for remote teams—because the rules have changed. 👀 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝟱 𝗗𝘆𝘀𝗳𝘂𝗻𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗥𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗲 𝗧𝗲𝗮𝗺𝘀: 1️⃣ 𝗗𝗶𝗴𝗶𝘁𝗮𝗹 𝗧𝗿𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗚𝗮𝗽 Trust is essential in remote setups but harder to build without regular face-to-face time. Consistency, transparency, and empathy are critical to bridge the trust gap. 2️⃣ 𝗩𝗶𝗿𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗹𝗶𝗰𝘁 𝗔𝘃𝗼𝗶𝗱𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 In virtual settings, it’s easy to skip tough conversations. Healthy conflict is essential for innovation—encourage open channels for feedback and constructive debate. 3️⃣ 𝗟𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗼𝗳 𝗖𝗹𝗮𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘆 & 𝗔𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗻𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 Misalignments are common without a shared space. Set clear goals, built upon narratives and outcomes — to ensure everyone is moving in the same direction. 4️⃣ 𝗘𝘃𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝗔𝗰𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 Remote work can blur accountability lines. Establish clear roles, responsibilities, and track progress consistently to build ownership. 5️⃣ 𝗗𝗶𝘀𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗖𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗚𝗼𝗮𝗹𝘀 Digital tools create constant distractions, making it easy to lose sight of team goals. Regularly reinforce your team’s mission, celebrate progress, and debrief setbacks. --- Ready to tackle remote dysfunctions head-on? Here are also 10 practical tips for remote leaders: 1️⃣ Visualize team goals in one shared place 2️⃣ Write weekly async updates instead of a meeting 3️⃣ Set clear ownership of outcomes upfront 4️⃣ Build a “virtual watercooler” for informal chats 5️⃣ Plan quarterly offsites (in-person or digital) 6️⃣ Share small wins weekly to boost morale 7️⃣ Run frequent feedback sessions of different scopes 8️⃣ Set clear deep work timeslots for the team 9️⃣ Create a digital playbook for team processes 🔟 Document, document, document --- What's your view on this? Does it resonate? What other tips would you suggest for remote leaders? #RemoteWork #TeamDynamics #Leadership #HighPerformance --- I'm Hugo Pereira. Co-founder of Ritmoo and fractional growth operator, I've led businesses from $1m to $100m+ while building purpose-driven, resilient teams. Follow me to master growth, leadership, and teamwork. My book, 𝘛𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘛𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘦𝘥, arrives early 2025.

Leadership is a delicate dance between empathy and authority. Too much empathy, and you risk “ruinous empathy” — caring so deeply about others' feelings that you avoid setting boundaries. Too much authority, and you risk becoming rigid and reactive, losing the trust of your team. Great leaders find balance. They lead with both compassion and clarity, setting firm boundaries while staying connected. Take, for instance, a female executive I worked with. She set clear expectations for her team’s project deadlines, only to be labeled “oppressive.” Despite her thoughtful and open approach, the pushback left her questioning her leadership style. But when we reframed boundaries as an act of care for herself and her team, she found her footing. Over time, trust and respect grew, and her leadership strengthened. This challenge is common. Leaders often face stricter limits on how they can use power. When they set boundaries, they may encounter resistance fueled by deep-seated psychological defenses: • Projection: Team members assign their discomfort with authority onto the leader. • Splitting: The leader is seen as either nurturing or “bad” for holding boundaries. • Deflection: The focus shifts from accountability to blaming leadership. • Minimization: The leader’s needs are downplayed to maintain the status quo. So, how do you lead with both heart and strength? Nonviolent Communication (NVC) offers a powerful approach: 1. Observe Without Judgment: “I’ve noticed our meetings often run over time.” 2. Express Feelings: “I feel overwhelmed when this happens.” 3. State Needs: “I need us to stay within the allotted time.” 4. Make a Request: “Can we agree to limit discussions to 10 minutes per agenda item?” Regulating your nervous system is also key. Leaders prone to people-pleasing can experience fawn responses in conflict. To stay grounded: • Pause and Breathe: Activate your parasympathetic nervous system. • Ground Yourself: Feel your feet on the floor. • Validate Yourself: Remind yourself that boundaries are an act of care. • Seek Support: Talk to mentors or peers when pushback feels overwhelming. Boundaries aren’t barriers; they’re the foundation of healthy leadership. The best leaders create environments where both accountability and compassion thrive. Where do you struggle with balancing empathy and authority? —- 📌 Want to become the best LEADERSHIP version of yourself in the next 30 days? 🧑💻Book 1:1 Growth Strategy call with me: https://lnkd.in/gVjPzbcU #Leadership #Empathy #Boundaries #Management #Teamwork