Using Silence as a Negotiation Tool

The best negotiator I know is completely silent 70% of the time. Last year she closed $400M in deals saying almost nothing. In high-stakes negotiations, the person who truly understands human psychology wins. Not the loudest voice. Not the biggest title. The one who reads the room. FBI negotiator Chris Voss spent decades getting terrorists to release hostages. Now he teaches business leaders the same principles. And here's what surprised me most: These aren't secret tactics. They're learnable skills. Anyone can become a skilled negotiator. You just need to understand how humans actually make decisions. These 7 techniques are a great starting point. They've worked in life-or-death situations and multi-billion-dollar deals. 1. Strategic Silence teaches patience. Most of us rush to fill quiet moments. But silence creates space for better offers. Practice counting to 10 before responding. It feels eternal. It works. 2. "How" over "Why" shifts dynamics. One word change. Completely different conversation. Try it in your next meeting. Watch defensiveness disappear. 3. Addressing Fears builds trust fast. Name what they're worried about before they do. It shows you understand their position, not just your own. 4. Mirroring is almost unconscious. Repeat their words. They elaborate without realizing it. Simple technique. Profound results. 5. Getting to "No" seems counterintuitive. But "no" creates boundaries. Boundaries create honest dialogue. Real deals happen after "no," not before. 6. Confirming Concerns creates momentum. Summarize their position accurately. They feel heard. Feeling heard leads to flexibility. 7. Listing Objections removes their power. Say their doubts out loud first. They can't weaponize what you've already acknowledged. Every CEO needs this skill. Every leader benefits from understanding it. Every professional can learn it. The question isn't whether you need these skills. It's when you'll start developing them. P.S. Want a PDF of my Negotiation Skills Cheat Sheet? Get it free: https://lnkd.in/dDxE5v3B ♻️ Repost to help a leader in your network. Follow Eric Partaker for more negotiation insights.

The Introvert's Survival Guide to Actually Enjoying (or at least surviving) Networking Events. I avoid networking events like they're tax audits or root canals. But sometimes you have to show up. (By have to, I mean, your business kind of depends on it.) Here's my "battle-tested" playbook for introverts who'd rather be home cleaning the litter box: Pre-Game Like an Athlete (or a Coward) • Set a timer for 47 minutes Not 45. Not an hour. 47. It's specific enough that you'll honor it. • Create your "Clark Kent Exit Strategy" Park near the exit. Know where the bathrooms are. Have a fake emergency ready. • Arrive unfashionably on-time Not early (too much small talk). Not late (everyone stares). Exactly on time when everyone's distracted. The Art of Strategic Positioning • Become furniture Find a high-top table. Claim it. Let extroverts come to you (they need a place to rest their drinks). • Master "Documentary Mode" Don't network. Observe. You're David Attenborough studying extroverts in their natural habitat. • Power Pose Like a Pro Stand near the food. Everyone comes to you. Plus, mouth full = legitimate reason not to talk. Conversation Hacks for the Socially Exhausted • The "Reverse Interview" Ask them 3 questions. They'll talk for 20 minutes. You nod. They think you're brilliant. "What are you most excited about doing this weekend?" • Deploy the "Introvert Card" "I'm actually an introvert, so this is my Olympics." Be transparently vulnerable. They laugh. Pressure's off. • The "Teaching Pivot" Turn every conversation into a mini-lesson. You're not networking, you're educating. Advanced Introvert Techniques • The "Phone Prop" Hold your phone like you're about to make a call. You look busy but approachable. Or, have a drink in your hand so they have something to do. • Find Another Introvert We can smell our own. Make eye contact with the person hiding by the plants. Form an alliance. You will both be relieved. • The "One Real Conversation" Rule Forget collecting 20 contacts. Have one meaningful conversation. Quality > quantity. The Grand Escape • The Irish Goodbye Just leave. Don't announce it. Disappear like Bruce Wayne. They'll think you're mysterious, not rude. • Leave on a High Had one good conversation? That's enough. You've won. Go home. • Recovery Protocol Schedule nothing for the next day. You've earned 24 hours of silence. Most "successful networkers" are performing too. They're just better actors. Not convinced? There's an alternative. I've built more meaningful connections through content than 1,000 networking events combined. Let people come to you through your content. Like they're doing right now. Who else is team "I'd rather create content than attend another networking mixer"? Drop a like if you've ever hidden in a bathroom stall to recharge. P.S. - My record for "shortest networking event attendance" is 3 minutes. Beat that. P.P.S. - Yes, I once brought a book to a networking event. No, I'm not sorry.

Some people don’t play fair at work. They play to win, and they weaponize perception to do it. They bait your emotions. They move the goalposts. They delegate complete chaos. They create confusion, then call it collaboration. And quitting isn’t always an option. Especially when you're rising. Here are 7 strategies to protect your power: 1. Silence is a strategy. Don’t rush to fill the space. Pauses signal self-trust. They expose games people try to play. i.e: When a peer tries to get you to defend your work in a meeting, don’t explain everything. Just say, “That’s noted,” and move on. Let their tone do the work of revealing the dynamics to others. 2. Divest your emotional labor. You’re not responsible for how other people feel about your boundaries, tone, or clarity. i.e: If your manager is in a mood or being short with you, don’t overfunction to smooth it over. Stick to the facts, keep your update short, and end the meeting on time. 3. Outshine the master carefully. Power loves proximity, so don’t disappear. Share your wins in public—but pair them with a compliment. i.e: If your director doesn’t like being outshined, say in a team update, “Thanks to [Director’s Name] for the support on this, I was able to close the contract two weeks ahead of schedule.” Tie your success to their influence while keeping your name attached to the win. 4. Speak to the pattern, not the person. Address repeat behaviors in clean, direct ways. Stick to the facts. i.e: If a colleague keeps delaying deliverables that impact you, say, “This is the third time the file has come late, and it’s caused downstream delays. I want to get ahead of this for next time.” It’s hard to argue with patterns. 5. Don’t reveal your intentions or your personal business. Say what you need, then stop talking. i.e: If you're asking for a project switch, say, “I’d like to be considered for X. I believe it’s a better use of my current strengths.” No need to mention burnout, your manager’s issues, or private goals. 6.Control access to yourself in levels. Not every colleague gets the same version of you. Boundaries are a form of emotional regulation. i.e: You don’t need to keep explaining your every idea to a critical coworker. Instead, share top-line updates in writing and save your full thinking for trusted allies or public spaces where misinterpretation is harder. 7. Exit the game entirely. Sometimes the real power move is not playing at all. This is how you protect your peace without losing your position. * If you resonate with this post, please repost it to your Linkedin page.* However, if you're a business coach, career coach etc., do not share this post or assume that tagging me in business groups, business pages or simply looking to grow your biz pages or on direct pages serves as permission. Do not post without my explicit permission*

𝐖𝐡𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐬𝐨 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞? Imagine stepping out into the world with no headphones, no distractions—just you, your thoughts, and the environment around you. 𝐒𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠, also known as 𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, is a fantastic way to clear your mind and connect with the present moment. It’s like hitting a reset button for your mind. Simple yet so powerful! The idea is to mute the mental chatter so you can really engage with your senses, surroundings, and the present moment. 𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐞’𝐬 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝: 🔹𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐞𝐭 𝐏𝐚𝐭𝐡: Choose a peaceful route where you won't be disturbed. It could be a park, a quiet neighborhood, or even your backyard. 🔹𝐒𝐞𝐭 𝐚𝐧 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧: Before you start, take a moment to set an intention. It could be something like "I will focus on my breath" or "I will observe my surroundings." 🔹𝐖𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐒𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐥𝐲: This isn't about getting from point A to point B. Walk at a leisurely pace, allowing yourself to notice the little things—a flower blooming, the sound of birds, the feel of the ground beneath your feet. It's about the journey, not the destination. 🔹𝐄𝐧𝐠𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐒𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐬: As you walk, tune into your senses. What do you see? What do you hear? How does the air feel against your skin? Let these sensations anchor you in the present. 🔹𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞: Pay attention to your breathing. Notice the rhythm of your breath as you inhale and exhale. This simple focus can help calm your mind and deepen your sense of presence. 🔹𝐋𝐞𝐭 𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐬𝐬: If your mind starts to wander, gently bring it back to the present moment.Think of your thoughts as pop-up ads—close them and get back to the main content. Despite my busy schedule, I always manage to sneak in some silent walking. It's my way of hitting pause and finding peace in the midst of everything going on, my strategy for sanity amidst the hustle and bustle:) What's your way of hitting pause? #life #productivity #gratitude #meditation #mentalhealth

Silence is often misunderstood. Yet, its power in communication is undeniable: → It fosters respect and encourages open sharing. → It keeps the audience engaged, eager to hear what's next. → It provides a moment for both parties to process information. → It allows for thoughtful responses, leading to meaningful conversations. → It communicates empathy, surprise, or contemplation, enriching interactions. But how can we harness this powerful tool effectively? The key lies in mindful application 1. Practice Mindful Pausing: Before responding, take a breath. This shows you value the other person's words and are considering your response carefully. 2. Embrace Comfortable Silence Don't rush to fill every pause. Allow quiet moments, especially during important discussions. This creates a safe space for deeper dialogue. 3. Use Pauses in Presentations Incorporate strategic pauses in speeches or presentations.   This gives your audience time to absorb key points and adds emphasis to your message. Remember, silence is not merely the absence of sound, it's a powerful communication tool. Embracing silence can enhance our listening skills, strengthen relationships, and improve overall communication effectiveness. Sometimes, saying nothing can say it all.

“Silence won me the deal.” It was during a high-stakes negotiation workshop. A long polished table stretched across the room, the faint hum of the air-conditioner mixing with the nervous tapping of pens. Coffee cups steamed gently, untouched. Two teams sat facing each other—one eager to sell, the other skeptical, guarded, holding their cards close. Every sentence from the buyers was sharp, deliberate. Every counter from the sellers was rushed, almost pleading. And then came that moment. A buyer leaned forward, narrowed his eyes, and asked: “So… what’s the absolute lowest you can go?” The sellers scrambled. Voices overlapped. Justifications poured out. In their rush to fill the silence, they gave away more than they should have. That’s when I stopped the roleplay and said to the leaders in the room: 👉 “Did you notice what happened? You lost not because of what you said, but because you couldn’t stay quiet.” Silence is uncomfortable. It makes palms sweat. It makes eyes wander. It feels like an eternity. But in negotiation, silence is not empty—it’s pressure. It’s the pause that forces the other side to reveal what they didn’t plan to. Later, I demonstrated. I role-played the seller again. When the buyer asked the same question, I simply looked at him, leaned back, folded my hands… and said nothing. The room went still. Ten seconds of silence felt like a minute. The buyer shifted in his chair, cleared his throat, and then—spoke again: “Well… we could increase the volume if you hold the price.” And just like that, silence unlocked a better deal. After the session, one participant came to me, wide-eyed, and said: “I’ve spent 15 years negotiating. No one ever taught me that my best weapon could be saying nothing.” 🌟 Lesson: Sometimes the most powerful sentence… is silence. Great leaders don’t always win by speaking more. They win by knowing when to let silence do the talking. #Negotiation #ExecutivePresence #LeadershipDevelopment #SoftSkills #CommunicationSkills #Boardroom #Fortune500 #Influence #BusinessGrowth #Leadership

Silence isn't a women's issue. It's a leadership issue. I'm often asked in fireside chats and Q&As -- do women struggle more with silence than men? My response? Anyone who carries a subordinated identity is disproportionately impacted by silence. If you carry a subordinated identity (that could be based on gender, race, class, education, ability, etc), you are - more likely to be othered - less likely to be included - less likely to be given the benefit of the doubt And that's before we talk about intersectionality and those who carry multiple subordinated (apparent or non-apparent) identities. That's a nerdy academic way of saying -- yes, but not because women are at fault or inferior. Those dynamics mean that silence becomes a survival strategy -- a way of blending in in order to try to keep your seat at the table. To be accepted. To pay your bills. But also incredibly damaging for those who are silenced. So is silence an issue for women to fix? To create environments where humans can thrive requires -- 1) us each to unlearn the way we silence ourselves 2) leaders to own and unlearn the ways they silence the people they lead 3) rigorously examining how silence is baked into the policies and practices that impact us all What will your role in all this be?

It’s not always the words that matter. Sometimes, it’s what you don’t say - that people remember most. In a world that’s always talking… The quiet ones often notice more. The silent pauses carry more weight than long speeches. You don’t always have to have the perfect reply. When someone shares bad news - you don’t have to offer advice. Just sitting beside them in silence can be enough. When a friend pulls away - don’t rush to fix it. Send one quiet message: “I’m here when you’re ready.” When a teammate messes up - you don’t need to point it out loudly. Your silence might be the grace they need. We underestimate the power of stillness. → That pause before reacting. → That breath before replying. → That moment of listening, without preparing your answer. Silence can mean: “I trust you.” “I’m with you.” “You’re not alone.” We often celebrate loud leadership, bold words, high energy. But don’t forget the quiet leaders: → The one who lets others speak first. → The one who notices who hasn’t spoken at all. → The one who doesn’t say much but when they do, it lands deeply. Still waters run deep. Still people do too. So today, try this: - Let one person fully finish their sentence - without jumping in. - Sit with discomfort - without rushing to fill it. - Say less - and see how much more it means. Because sometimes, the loudest love is silent presence.

Silence is one of the most underrated skills in procurement. And very few master it. 🤫 Using silence draws more out of the other participant to an interaction. And it helps us to actively listen to what they say. We learn so much when we stay quiet and let the other party speak. - Information gathering: When a salesperson is uncomfortable with silence they speak to fill the gap and often give away useful information. - In negotiation: By staying quiet after a proposal is given, it can drive the other party to start negotiating with themselves before we need to say anything, especially if they are already uncomfortable with their position. - Stakeholders: We build better relationships by asking great questions and allowing time and space for a great response. By staying silent after an initial response to a question, it gives space to build on the answer in more detail. - Speaking with gravitas: Pausing before we speak and delivering a powerful message followed by silence are two great ways to increase our gravitas. - With our Team: It helps people feel heard and listened to in 121 conversation with your team, it also gives the message that they will be heard. Of course silence can be a negative communication method, or seen as such in some contexts and should be used appropriately.

Here’s what most companies miss: Teams are driven by invisible dynamics that aren’t on any performance dashboard. 👉 Unspoken assumptions 👉 Hidden tensions 👉 Unwritten rules These shape behavior far more than new processes or clearer KPIs ever will. The biggest blocker? ❗ A lack of psychological safety—not capability—keeps the smartest people in the room silent when it matters most. Trust and team cohesion aren’t soft skills. They are business-critical assets, and without them, even high-potential teams will underperform. So, what’s the solution? Stop managing symptoms. Start diagnosing the deeper dynamics of your team. Here’s how I do it: 1️⃣ Measure psychological safety I start by assessing the team’s current state. Psychological safety is the most accurate predictor of team success, yet it’s often overlooked. The scan data reveals where your team thrives—and where it’s holding back. 2️⃣ Debrief results honestly Together, we answer real questions: “Where are we holding back?” “What’s being avoided?” This honest reflection is where true transformation begins. 3️⃣ Build new norms & rituals We co-create practical, actionable ways to shift behaviors—introducing deliberate norms and rituals based on my D.U.N.R Team Method that encourage open dialogue, learning from failure, and courageous conversations. 👆 You can hire the best talent, create the sharpest strategy, and invest in every cutting-edge tool — but without psychological safety, your team will always operate at half its potential. What invisible barriers do you think hold teams back the most? 🔔 Follow me for more insights on inclusive, high-performing teams. ___________________________________________________ 🌟 New here? Hi! I’m Susanna. I help companies create inclusive cultures and high-performing teams grounded in psychological safety and trust. Let’s unlock your team’s full potential together!