Understanding Body Language in Negotiation

We lie. A lot. College students lie in 1 of every 3 conversations Adults in 1 of 5 81% of online dating profiles? They contain lies. So how do you whether someone is telling the truth? First: Don’t rely on stress signals. Sweating, fidgeting, nervousness? Not reliable. That’s the myth behind lie detectors. Real liars can stay calm. Truth-tellers can still get anxious. The better strategy? Use what researchers call the Cognitive Load Model. Lying is mentally exhausting. It takes more brainpower than telling the truth. Your job? Make it even harder. The trick is to increase their cognitive load. Make them think more. Force them to improvise. And the easiest way to do that? Unanticipated questions. When people expect the question, they can prepare a lie. But when you surprise them, liars stumble. They pause. They stall. They try to calculate on the fly. Truth-tellers? They answer quickly—because they don’t have to think twice. Example: Bad question: “How old are you?” Better question: “What year were you born?” Liars have to do math. Truth-tellers don’t even blink. In airport screenings, detection rates jump from 5% to 66% using this method. That’s the power of a good question. Don’t just look for nervousness. Make them think—and watch how they respond.

7 years ago, I hosted a TED Talk that got 5.8M views. Funnily enough, 5 years prior, we analyzed 1,000+ hours of them trying to answer 1 question: Why do some TED Talks go viral, while others don't? 1 thing CLEARLY stood out: Hand gestures. I'm not kidding. When we compared the most viewed TED Talks to the least viewed ones, the top performers used almost TWICE as many hand gestures (465 vs 272 in an 18-minute talk). Why? Because it's evolutionary. When cavemen encountered strangers, the first place they looked was the hands - friend or foe? Our brains are still wired this way. When we can't see someone's hands, our brain gets uncomfortable because we can't see intention. This is just one of the many ways that the best TEDTalkers stood out. And one of the many ways that humans are contagious. We're constantly sending and receiving signals: • Nonverbally: Our facial expressions trigger the same emotions in others (try making a genuine smile right now - feel better?). • Verbally: Asking "working on anything exciting?" instead of "been busy lately?" triggers dopamine in the brain, making you more memorable. • Emotionally: Saying "I'm excited" instead of "I'm nervous" before a task improved performance by 27% in research studies. The most viewed TED speakers are masters at infecting their audience with confidence through their nonverbal, verbal, and emotional signals. Next time you give a presentation or even have a coffee chat, think about how you're "infecting" others. • Are you smiling authentically?  • Are your hands visible and expressive?  • Are your questions triggering excitement?  • Are you reframing nervousness as excitement? Small shifts can completely change how people respond to you. The most powerful thing I've learned in 15+ years of human behavior research: Confidence isn't just something you feel - it's something you can intentionally spread. BTW I DID make sure to use over 400 hand gestures in my TEDx London Talk 🖐️ PS: Check out the link to my talk in the comments section.

The Unspoken Power of Executive Presence: 10 Body Language Tips to Command Attention You’ve seen it before - that person who walks into a room, and without saying a word, everyone takes notice. Their presence is magnetic. People naturally turn to listen, even in the most crowded and chaotic meetings. It's not just about their title or credentials - it’s how they carry themselves. You’ve got what it takes - here’s how to make them see it from the second you walk in. 1. Stand Tall with a Confident Posture ↳ Keep your shoulders back, chest open, and spine straight. ↳ Distribute your weight evenly on both feet when standing. 2. Maintain Intentional Eye Contact ↳ Look directly at the person you’re speaking to. ↳ Balance it with natural breaks to avoid staring. 3. Use Open Hand Gestures ↳ Keep your hands visible and palms open when gesturing. ↳ Avoid crossing your arms. 4. Mirror Their Movements Subtly ↳ Match your body language with theirs in a natural way. ↳ For example, if they lean forward, you can too. 5. Own the Space Around You ↳ Avoid shrinking into yourself. ↳ Use the space confidently, arms and hands naturally placed. 6. Keep a Relaxed Facial Expression ↳ Avoid frowning or tensing your jaw. ↳ Maintain a calm and neutral expression, a slight smile if appropriate. 7. Use Strategic Pauses ↳ When making a key point, pause briefly. ↳ Let your words sink in while maintaining eye contact. 8. Lean In When Engaged ↳ Slightly lean forward when someone is speaking to you. ↳ Shows interest and presence. 9. Avoid Nervous Movements ↳ Keep fidgeting, tapping, or adjusting your clothes, to a minimum. ↳ Practice stillness when listening or speaking. 10. Walk with Purpose ↳ Take measured, deliberate steps when you move around. ↳ Keep your head up and shoulders relaxed. ♻️ Share this to help spread the value. 🔔 Follow Meera Remani for practical insights on leadership success.

How people experience you matters more than being seen. Especially when you step into leadership. (Future VP's take note) You can have strong skills and a solid record, but advancement depends on perception. The way others experience your leadership determines whether they see you as tactical or strategic. Many leaders unknowingly build a reputation for reliability that limits how far they can go. They become known for delivery, not for shaping outcomes. That pattern creates trust but not visibility or influence. As an executive coach, I see this pattern constantly. The problem is rarely competence. The problem is visibility and positioning. People trust your work, but they do not experience you as the guide in the room. Here is how the tactical trap usually shows up: ➤ You are asked to provide updates but not included in actual decision making ➤ Your week is filled with delivery work instead of guiding direction or priorities ➤ Colleagues praise your reliability but leave you out of early strategy conversations Shifting this pattern requires immeditate changes in what you say and how you frame it. These changes reposition you from executor to strategist without adding more work to your plate. Instead of saying, “We are still waiting on the vendor quote,” say, “The team needs to decide whether to delay the launch or use a placeholder estimate.” Instead of saying, “Here is what we accomplished this week,” say, “This is the momentum we have built and what it unlocks for the next step.” Instead of saying, “I will follow up with the designer,” say, “Let us clarify the timeline so the team is not blocked waiting on final files.” These are small but powerful adjustments. (make sure your words are congruent with your actions) They change the way people experience your leadership, and they begin to experience you as the person who brings clarity to the room. Here are two practical shifts you can make this week: ✔️ Before your next meeting, write at the top of your notes: What decision or direction should come out of this conversation? ✔️ When discussion drifts or stalls, use this line: Would it help if I offered a quick frame to move us forward? These moves reposition you as a leader who shapes conversations instead of reacting to them. They create the space for others to see you as a strategist, not only a doer. Remember, how people experience you will outlast anything you say or do (this applies universally).

“The candidate who failed an interview—not because of skill.” The room was tense but quiet. A panel of three senior leaders sat across the polished table, papers stacked neatly, pens clicking softly. The faint hum of the AC mixed with the sound of his nervous breathing. The candidate walked in—a sharp resume, impressive credentials, technical answers flowing like clockwork. He knew the numbers. He knew the frameworks. Every question, he answered. Every detail, he nailed. And yet… something was missing. Each time he spoke, his eyes dropped to the floor, or flickered to the ceiling. Not once did he meet the gaze of the people deciding his future. To the panel, it didn’t matter that his answers were correct. What they felt was hesitation. Uncertainty. A lack of presence. After the interview, one of the panelists sighed and said: “Brilliant on paper. But I just couldn’t see him leading people.” That was his vulnerability. Not lack of knowledge. Not lack of preparation. But lack of connection. I sat down with him later. He looked at me and confessed: “I avoid eye contact because it makes me nervous. I feel like they’ll see through me.” I told him gently: 👉 “And that’s exactly the problem. Eye contact doesn’t expose weakness—it signals confidence. It tells people: ‘I believe in what I’m saying.’” So we worked on it. Step by step. • Practicing power gazes: holding eye contact long enough to build trust, not intimidation. • Using triangular eye movement: moving naturally between left eye, right eye, and mouth—so it never feels like a stare. • Pairing body posture with steady gaze—open chest, shoulders back, grounded presence. At first, he struggled. His voice cracked, his palms sweated. But slowly, he began to notice—when he looked up, people leaned in. Weeks later, in his next interview, he walked in with calm shoulders, lifted his eyes, and looked directly at the panel as he answered. The difference was electric. The panel nodded. Pens scribbled notes. One interviewer even smiled and said: “You sound like someone who belongs here.” This time, he didn’t just pass. He got the offer. 🌟 Lesson: People don’t just hire résumés. They hire presence. Because in leadership, knowledge may answer the question—but presence wins the room. #ExecutivePresence #CommunicationSkills #SoftSkills #BodyLanguage #LeadershipDevelopment #Fortune500 #Interviews #PersonalBranding #Leadership #Confidence

How can you tell if a person is a lying to you? 🤔 In my recent conversation with Jack Schafer, author, former FBI agent and deception detection expert, he shared two of the best ways to determine if someone is intentionally deceiving you: 1. Key Physical Reactions (due to the Fight or Flight Response) ⚡ When people lie, they fear getting caught. This triggers a fight-or-flight stress response, which often dissipates through subtle nonverbal cues like: 👉🏿 Increased heart rate ❤️ 👉🏿 Fidgeting (finger tapping, toe tapping, pacifying gestures) 👉🏿 Changes in breathing 😮💨 2. Difficulty Answering Follow-Up Questions 🧠 Lying is mentally exhausting. A liar must: ✅ Keep track of their story ✅ Monitor their words & body language ✅ Assess if you believe them To test this, increase their mental load by asking unexpected “yes or no” follow up questions. Due to the cognitive overload, their brain will naturally default to answering with one of the two options you gave them - as opposed to coming up with a third option (another lie). This was such a fascinating conversation - to dive deeper check out the newsletter and listen to the full episode. 🎧🎙️ Have you used these techniques before? What other techniques help you uncover deception? Let’s discuss! 👇🏿 #Negotiation #Communication #DeceptionDetection

The CMO shouts at the CTO: “That’s just not enough buddy!” It was my most bewildering boardroom experience. They were arguing about who was to blame for missed financial targets. Ineffective marketing or tech glitches that reduced conversion? What made it almost comical was that the CMO was a big, gregarious guy, whereas the CTO was a small, introverted man who was just sitting there. Then the CEO calmly declared: “That’s not helping” and guided the conversation back to fixing the issue. In the boardroom, everyone is already confident. And they understand that confidence isn't volume. It’s how you show up, from the second you enter the room to agreeing on the actions. Drawing from attending many board meetings and coaching 300+ CEOs, here are 7 subtle-but-strategic techniques you can use to project authority. (These work in any high-stakes meeting) 1/ Enter Like a Leader ↳ Don’t rush in, shuffle papers, or fiddle with your seat. ↳ Pause at the door. Stand tall. Scan the room. 2/ Claim Your Seat Intentionally ↳ Where and how you sit shapes perception. ↳ Choose a visible seat. You belong there – show it. 3/ Frame the Conversation Early ↳  Offer one sentence that defines the focus or stakes. ↳  “Our objective for this meeting is …” 4/ Ask One Strategic Question ↳ Questions shape the discussion or challenge lazy thinking. ↳ Listening is a power move. When you speak, make it count. 5/ Reframe with Authority ↳ Someone challenges you. Stay calm. ↳ Say: “That’s one view. Let me offer a different perspective.” 6/ Lead the Decision, Don’t Wait for Consensus ↳ Don’t led discussions drag on. ↳ Signal leadership, but leave room for discussion 7/ Close with Conviction ↳  Decisiveness leaves a lasting impression. ↳ “Here’s the direction I recommend we take.” ❓ How do you project calm confidence? - - - - ♟️ Ready to become a top 1% communicator? Reach out here: https://lnkd.in/ekXvJNAe ♻️ Repost to help someone get boardroom-ready. And follow me Oliver Aust to become a top 1% communicator.

Perception can shape careers just as much as performance. Over the years, I’ve seen this play out in countless ways: women delivering results, building strong teams, leading with vision…and still being told they’re “too quiet,” “too strong,” “not strategic enough,” or that they “lack presence.” I’ve experienced this myself. Feedback that felt vague or contradictory. At first, I took it personally. Then I got curious. I started asking different questions. What if this feedback wasn’t really about me, but about outdated expectations of what leadership should look like? That’s why we wrote this new piece for HBR. It’s for anyone who’s been told they need to “change” to succeed, but knows deep down that they shouldn’t have to become someone else to lead effectively. This article offers three practical strategies for shifting perception while staying grounded in your authentic leadership: 1️⃣ Craft a counternarrative – Define how you want to be seen, using your strengths to align with what your organization values. 2️⃣ Use positive association – Language is powerful. Small shifts in how we speak about ourselves and our work can influence how others perceive us. 3️⃣ Turn feedback into power – Instead of reacting to feedback, investigate it. Use it as a tool to navigate your environment with more clarity and intention. Too often, we think we have no control over how we’re perceived. This is a reminder that we do have agency. And that we can lead without shrinking or shape-shifting to meet someone else’s version of success. Let me know what stands out to you. https://lnkd.in/gcCSE7XW Colleen Ammerman HBS Race, Gender & Equity Initiative Harvard Business Review Lakshmi Ramarajan Lisa Sun #leadership #perception #workplace

👀 What’s Your Eye Contact Saying at Work—And Who’s Misreading It? Averted eyes. Passionate hand gestures. A quiet tone. In a multicultural workplace, these aren’t just quirks—they're potential landmines. Your team may be misjudging one another without even knowing it. Let’s fix that.👇🏽 💬 Here’s the challenge: What feels “normal” to one person might seem aggressive, disengaged, or even disrespectful to someone else, all because of cultural norms around nonverbal behavior. Misreading these cues can lead to tension, bias, and broken trust. But it doesn’t have to be that way. 🔑 4 Strategies to Improve Nonverbal, Cross-Cultural Communication in Your Workplace: 1️⃣ Know Your Audience Understand cultural style preferences. For example, some individuals within a group, let’s say, African Americans, may use passionate tones and expressive gestures. It’s not aggression; it’s a style. Train your team to observe, not judge. 2️⃣ Learn the Eye Contact Spectrum Direct eye contact in one culture signals confidence. In another, it may seem aggressive or rude. There is no universal “right” way—there’s only context. Learn it. Respect it. Adapt. 3️⃣ Decode Gestures Carefully A harmless gesture in one country can be offensive in another. Help your team avoid unintended offense by encouraging curiosity and cultural awareness, not assumption. 4️⃣ Normalize the Conversation Create a culture where people name their style. “I use lots of hand gestures—it’s how I show excitement!” “I may not hold eye contact, but I’m very engaged.” These conversations build psychological safety and dismantle bias in real time. ✨ When teams understand each other beyond words, they build something powerful: trust. ✨ Want your team to confidently navigate diverse communication styles? 🎓 Let’s talk. I offer workshops on: ✅ Differences in communication styles ✅ Nonverbal behavior across cultures ✅ Culturally competent, inclusive communication 👉🏽 Schedule your complimentary call to learn how Mastering Cultural Differences can help your organization lead with clarity, confidence, and compassion. #MasteringCulturalDifferences #CulturalCompetence #InclusiveCommunication #NonverbalCommunication #BodyLanguageMatters #InclusiveTeams

If your interviewer judges you in the first few seconds and you feel powerless… you really are not. Science says those seconds define you. Here’s the formula experts & neuroscience research agree on and how to make sure those first 7 seconds land you in the “liked + credible” bucket, not “meh, passable”. ✔️ The 7-Second First Impression Formula: 👉 Visual Readiness Dress sharply, maintain upright posture immediately, and adopt open gestures. 👉 Face & Micro-Expression Calibration Smile genuinely. A slight smile that reaches the eyes creates authenticity. Facial asymmetry or unnatural expressions immediately drop “trustworthiness score.” 👉 Voice & Tone Control Speak with clarity. Begin with your natural pitch. Avoid rising pitch at the end (“upspeak”). Even one word (“Hello”) can influence how dominant or trustworthy you are judged. 👉 Eye Contact & Gaze Pattern Maintain steady, appropriate eye contact of about 60-70% of time. Let your gaze move naturally but avoid darting. This signals confidence and attentiveness. 👉 Open Body Posture & Movement Uncross arms; lean slightly forward; nod at small cues. Mirror, but subtly. The brain’s mirror neurons respond positively to subtle synchrony. Body posture influences likability & perceived competence. 👉 Rapport & Familiarity Drop-Ins Within those seconds, drop something familiar or shared if possible: “I see you’re from ___ / you went to ___ / you worked on ___” something in common. It primes social trust. Similarity is one of the strongest drivers in first impressions. 👉 Authentic Energy + Breathing Prep Before entering, take 3 deep, controlled breaths to regulate the nervous system. Let that settle into your voice and your face. Research in neuroscience shows that emotional regulation (via breathing) reduces "amygdala hijack" and improves control over expressions. Use that calm energy. If you execute all 7 elements deliberately, the chances are high that you’ll start the interview in “liked + credible” zone — which gives you three huge advantages: ✔️ You get more leeway when you make small errors. ✔️ Your words will be interpreted positively by default. ✔️ Your stress gets buffered by positive feedback even in micro cues (smiles, nods, tone). 👉 Repost this to help someone nail their first impression. And if you want personal help crafting yours → DM me. #firstimpressions #interviewtips #selfpresentation #careerdevelopment #interviewcoach