Handling Stalemates In Negotiations

#100RulesofThumb — Rule 3 If you don't have an option, you will lose the negotiation. By default. I also call this the "Peaky Blinders Rule", inspired by the rigged games and dominant strategies Tommy Shelby employs in the show. Because let's be real for a second. Tips and tricks on negotiation are mostly a sham. Even when they are useful, they come into play much later. The 80% in negotiations is just coming to terms with this fact: If you aren't willing to walk away from the table but the other party is, you have already lost the negotiation before it has even started. If you're going into a negotiation without options or a keen understanding of the power dynamics at play, I'm sorry to say this but you're simply setting yourself up as a sucker. Say you're a young professional. You've been working tirelessly at your current job, and finally, the much-awaited promotion conversation is on the horizon. Most people would go into this discussion without a backup plan, somewhat at the mercy of their employers. But not you. Before you sit down for that conversation, you've done your homework. You've hedged your bets. You have good potential alternatives to explore, and if push comes to shove, you're completely okay leaving the company. Now, with these options available, you've not just fortified your position but also significantly expanded your negotiation bandwidth. Simply because you aren't afraid to leave the table. You can now assertively articulate your expectations, knowing well that you have other avenues open. By having options, you transform from someone merely hoping for a good offer to a candidate dictating the terms. In another scenario, say you are a small business owner negotiating a contract with a supplier. The initial terms they offer don't quite sit well with you. Now, if this supplier is your only option, you're stuck. But, if you have already initiated conversations with other suppliers, you're in a position to negotiate better terms, possibly even pitting suppliers against each other to secure the best deal. This principle isn't about fostering competition or being ruthless; it's about understanding that options empower you to define the terms that work best for you, not just accepting what's handed to you. Remember: Walking into any negotiation with alternatives in your pocket is crucial to ensure you are not left short-changed. Always have an option or two, always be willing to walk away and be okay with a no-deal situation, and watch how the tables turn in your favour.

WHEN TEMPERS FLARE, YOU'RE LOCKED IN A STALEMATE, OR A MULTI MILLION DOLLAR DEAL IS ON THE LINE, EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY TO TURNING IT AROUND. The right communication framework fosters understanding, strengthens relationships, and drives powerful results within your team. Both personally and professionally, effective communication is key to successful teamwork, conflict resolution, and collaboration. From construction to finance, from fashion to family offices, my high performance clients master the skills to navigate the toughest conversations and transform them into their biggest breakthroughs. And here’s how you can do it too: 1. FRAME THE POSITIVE INTENTION: Start with shared goals. Establish a shared purpose to align your conversation positively and maintain the focus on optimal outcomes. ➡️”We both want [a positive, uplifting relationship].” “This is about us being [happier, more productive].” A positive start encourages cooperation and a safe space for communication. 2. DESCRIBE THE OBSERVABLE: Present facts without emotional interpretation. Focus on specific events or behaviors rather than feelings. ➡️ “When [specific event] happened, I saw [specific observation].” Stick to observable facts and avoid personal interpretations to keep the conversation neutral. 3. SHARE THE FEELING: Express your emotions without blame. Own your feelings without blaming others, and invite the other person to share theirs. ➡️“We both feel [emotion].” “I feel [emotion] about [situation].” Take ownership of your feelings. Express them without pointing fingers and encourage others to do the same. 4. REQUEST THEIR PERSPECTIVE: Invite input and collaboration. Ask for the other person’s perspective to gain insight into their viewpoint. ➡️“How did you see that?” “What did you observe?” Listen actively and be open to hearing the other person’s thoughts, fostering mutual understanding. 5. MAKE THE ASK WITH BENEFIT EXTENSIONS Propose mutually beneficial solutions: Offer choices that meet both parties' needs. ➡️ “If [action] occurs, we would feel [emotion] and [emotion].” “Here are two options that work for me…” Present two acceptable options to empower the other person to contribute to the solution. 6. WORK TOGETHER TO BUILD A CONSENSUS Collaborate on finding the best solution: Work together to determine the best course of action and express appreciation when a decision is made. ➡️ “I appreciate the thought you’ve put into this. I’m glad we agreed on [decision].” By applying my effective communication framework, you foster open, respectful communication that builds trust, enhances collaboration, and contributes to team success. And the great news is that you can use this both personally and professionally! I’m curious… ~When was a time that you needed this framework in your life? #future #communication #success

When negotiating, do you think the big wins happen at the table? They don't! The real magic happens before the first word is spoken. Success in 80% of negotiations is due to preparation. It's taking small steps to control the process, foresee challenges, and set small goals. I coached a procurement manager stuck in a deadlock with a supplier. Both sides had drawn firm lines: • The supplier demanded upfront payments. • The procurement team refused. • They feared cash flow issues. For weeks, the talk had gone in circles. It made no progress. When I stepped in, I asked one question: “𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙙𝙤𝙚𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙪𝙥𝙥𝙡𝙞𝙚𝙧 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙?” The team realized the supplier's main concern wasn't money. It was to reduce delivery risks. By focusing on interests, not positions, we found a solution: 𝗔 𝘀𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝘂𝗽𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗻𝘁 𝗽𝗮𝘆𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁, 𝗽𝗹𝘂𝘀 𝗺𝗶𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝘆𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝘁𝗶𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗲𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗽𝗵𝗮𝘀𝗲𝘀. The result? The deal closed in two days, with terms that worked for both sides. That negotiation taught me this: →  Preparation isn't just logical. → It's also strategic and emotional. I'm happy to share here how I prepare for a negotiation: 𝗦𝗲𝘁 𝗦𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗧 𝗴𝗼𝗮𝗹𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗲. • Be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. • No vague goals like “get the best deal,” aim for concrete outcomes: → Add a long-term partnership clause → Reduce delivery timelines by 10% → Secure flexible payment terms 𝗙𝗼𝗰𝘂𝘀 𝗼𝗻 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘁𝘀, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀. • Ask, why does the other side want this? • When you negotiate based on interests, you create options that meet both parties’ needs. 𝗣𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗠𝘂𝗹𝘁𝗶𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗼𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝘀 (𝗠𝗘𝗦𝗢𝘀) • Successful comes with always having options ready. For example: → Offer A: A 5% discount for upfront payments. → Offer B: Standard payment terms and extended service coverage. If you present choices, you reduce deadlock and keep control of the conversation. 𝗨𝘀𝗲 𝗘𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗜𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲. 𝗡𝗲𝗴𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗶𝘀𝗻'𝘁 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗹𝗼𝗴𝗶𝗰—𝗶𝘁'𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻. • Practice self-awareness to stay composed under pressure. • Show empathy to build trust. • Use "Feel, Felt, Found" on objections, and it'll guide decisions. Negotiation is like a dance. Both sides need to move in sync, adjusting their steps as they go, to create a harmonious outcome. And the best dances are choreographed long before the music starts. So, what’s been your biggest negotiation breakthrough? Have you ever unlocked a deal by shifting focus from demands to solutions? Found success by preparing better than your counterpart? Drop your story in the comments—I’d love to hear it. Or DM me if this resonates with a challenge you’re navigating. Let’s talk about what works.

"We will pay you $75K this year and $110K next year.” I’ve helped candidates negotiate six-figure salaries, remote flexibility, and better perks. Even when employers initially resisted. Well... negotiations often hit a standstill when both sides are holding firm. The employer won’t budge, and the employee doesn’t want to compromise. So how do you move forward without losing what matters most? 1️⃣ Understand their WHY. Your employer isn’t just being difficult. They have reasons, maybe budget constraints, company culture, and managerial oversight. If they insist on in-office work, maybe they’re worried about productivity. If they push back on salary, maybe they’re balancing multiple hires. 2️⃣ Reframe the discussion. Instead of saying, "I can only do remote", say "I’ll provide daily Loom updates to showcase my work and keep communication transparent." This way, they don’t feel like they’re losing control. They’re gaining certainty. 3️⃣ Propose a step-up structure. If they claim they can’t meet your salary, introduce a phased increase: "What if we start at $75K now, with a structured raise to $110K next year based on performance?" Now, you’re giving them flexibility while ensuring you get the pay you deserve. 4️⃣ Negotiate beyond salary. If they won’t budge on pay, shift the focus. More vacation? Training budget? Performance-based bonuses? There are multiple levers to pull. The goal isn’t to win. It’s to walk away happy. No one gets 100% of what they want, But the best negotiators ensure both sides leave with a deal that feels fair. If your negotiation is stuck, shift from demands to solutions. That’s how you break the deadlock.

Conflict is inevitable. How we manage it is both an art and a science. In my work with executives, I often discuss Thomas Kilmann's five types of conflict managers: (1) The Competitor – Focuses on winning, sometimes forgetting there’s another human on the other side. (2) The Avoider – Pretends conflict doesn’t exist, hoping it disappears (spoiler: it doesn’t). (3) The Compromiser – Splits the difference, often leaving both sides feeling like nobody really wins. (4) The Accommodator – Prioritizes relationships over their own needs, sometimes at their own expense. (5) The Collaborator – Works hard to find a win-win, but it takes effort. The style we use during conflict depends on how we manage the tension between empathy and assertiveness. (a) Assertiveness: The ability to express your needs, boundaries, and interests clearly and confidently. It’s standing your ground—without steamrolling others. Competitors do this naturally, sometimes too much. Avoiders and accommodators? Not so much. (b) Empathy: The ability to recognize and consider the other person’s perspective, emotions, and needs. It’s stepping into their shoes before taking a step forward. Accommodators thrive here, sometimes at their own expense. Competitors? They might need a reminder that the other side has feelings too. Balancing both is the key to successful negotiation. Here’s how: - Know your default mode. Are you more likely to fight, flee, or fold? Self-awareness is step one. - Swap 'but' for 'and' – “I hear your concerns, and I’d like to explore a solution that works for both of us.” This keeps both voices in the conversation. - Be clear, not combative. Assertiveness isn’t aggression; it’s clarity. Replace “You’re wrong” with “I see it differently—here’s why.” - Make space for emotions. Negotiations aren’t just about logic. Acknowledge emotions (yours and theirs) so they don’t hijack the conversation. - Negotiate the process, not just the outcome. If you’re dealing with a competitor, set ground rules upfront. If it’s an avoider, create a low-stakes way to engage. Great negotiators don’t just stick to their natural style—they adapt. Which conflict style do you tend to default to? And how do you balance empathy with assertiveness? #ConflictResolution #Negotiation #Leadership #Empathy #Assertiveness #Leadership #DecisionMaking

𝗙𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗕𝗹𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗕𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗸𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 Ever been in a situation where something goes wrong, and suddenly everyone’s pointing fingers—but nobody’s actually responsible? A deadline gets missed. The “why” turns into a blame game. People start defending, deflecting, or going silent. The real issues stay underground, and collaboration tanks. Energy shifts from solving problems to self-protection. You end up with a culture where people play it safe, avoid risk, and disengage emotionally. What you're tempted to say is: “Can everyone please be professional?” “Can someone explain why this happened?” “This team needs to get its act together.” “Let’s just move on. Next time, do better.” “I don’t want to hear about problems, bring me solutions.” As an emotion-focused psychotherapist, I learnt this term in unpacking systemic communication within families and couples: "Everyone is at fault, but no one is to blame." Because if you listen, the issue isn't what's said in blame but what's felt in one's needs. Blame is the enemy of wellbeing. The key to the deadlock in a culture built on zero-sum games is acceptance, accountability and amends. If you’re a leader (or even just a human at work), you’ve been there. Blame doesn’t just break trust—it breaks wellbeing. Chronic blame creates anxiety, kills psychological safety, and makes even the most talented people start plotting their exit. Here are 5 phrases to navigate the heavy conversation instead. 1. “I can see this situation is frustrating for everyone, and your feelings are valid.” This phrase acknowledges the emotional state of the team without dismissing or minimizing anyone’s experience. 2. “Let’s take a moment—what’s been the most challenging part of this for you?” This question invites deeper sharing and signals genuine curiosity, not judgment. 3. “We’re in this together. What would help you feel supported right now?” This phrase shifts the dynamic from ‘me vs. you’ to ‘us vs. the problem.’ It’s an invitation to co-create solutions, not just assign fault. 4. “I appreciate everyone’s honest emotions. Right now, let’s focus on understanding, not assigning blame.” This directly addresses the urge to blame and redirects the group toward constructive dialogue. It models calm and sets a tone for open communication, as suggested in the documents. 5. “Beneath your frustration, I know everyone is yearning for a better result. What could we focus on as our next step?” This phrase does two things at once: it acknowledges the real, raw frustration in the room (which is so often swept under the carpet), and it honors the positive intent behind it—the collective desire for improvement. The more energy spent on self-protection, the less available for creativity, empathy, and real performance. If you want a team that thrives under pressure, start by removing the sting of blame. Real growth comes when we solve the problem collectively without needing to make anyone the villain.

Most Projects Fail to Deliver Full Value… Because Stakeholder Management Is an Afterthought. ~ Conflicting priorities stall critical decisions. ~ Misaligned expectations derail project timelines. ~ Key sponsors disengage, leaving teams without support. And yet, when these challenges arise, most teams focus on “more updates” or “more stakeholder meetings.” But the real issue isn’t the frequency of communication – It’s ineffective stakeholder management. Here’s what I consistently see in projects: → Too Many Decision-Makers – Multiple stakeholders with conflicting goals slow down consensus and project momentum. → Competing Priorities – What’s urgent for one stakeholder may be irrelevant for another, creating constant friction. → Limited Resources – Tight budgets and stretched teams make balancing stakeholder demands increasingly difficult. These challenges lead to delays, frustration, and loss of stakeholder trust. What’s the solution? A structured and strategic stakeholder management approach, not just ad hoc engagement. Here’s how I help organisations elevate their stakeholder management: 1. Clarify Expectations Early → Align all stakeholders on shared goals, roles, and success metrics upfront. 2. Strategic Stakeholder Mapping → Using tools like the Power-Interest Matrix to categorise stakeholders and tailor engagement accordingly. 3. Targeted Communication Strategies → Communicating the right information, to the right people, at the right time. 4. Action-Oriented Engagement Plans → Prioritising critical stakeholders and focusing efforts where they create the most impact. When organisations manage stakeholders effectively, the outcomes speak for themselves: → Faster decision-making: Streamlined discussions and fewer bottlenecks.  → Stronger stakeholder alignment: Reduced conflicts and enhanced project cohesion.  → Higher project success rates: Deliverables that meet or exceed expectations.  → Improved stakeholder relationships: Greater trust and long-term collaboration. Stakeholder management isn’t a soft skill – it’s a business-critical strategy. Are competing priorities slowing your projects down? Let’s address it. Drop me a message and let’s explore how structured stakeholder engagement can drive project success and stakeholder buy-in. —- 📌 Want to become the best LEADERSHIP version of yourself in the next 30 days? 🧑💻Book 1:1 Growth Strategy call with me: https://lnkd.in/gVjPzbcU #Leadership #Strategy #Projects #Success #Growth

M&A isn’t just math. It’s psychology. Sellers rarely walk away because of numbers. They walk because they don’t trust you. And trust doesn’t get built in a spreadsheet. It happens in conversations, real ones. The kind that take time. The kind that happen over dinners, site visits, late-night phone calls. When I talk to great buyers, they all say the same thing: the deal turns when the relationship turns. When the seller stops seeing you as “the other side of the table” and starts seeing you as someone who actually cares about what happens next. Legacy. Culture. People. Those matter as much as valuation. Sometimes more. In Buyer-Led M&A™, we teach teams to stop trying to “win” the negotiation and start trying to understand the person. When you do that — when you really invest the time to listen, to show up in person, to build that foundation of trust — you unlock a completely different kind of deal dynamic. You can have the best model in the world, but if the seller doesn’t believe in you, it won’t matter. You’ll lose the deal, not because of price, but because of disconnect. Trust isn’t a soft skill in M&A. It’s the hard edge that makes every other part of the process work. What are you doing to build trust? For me, dinner or drinks help you learn about their personal life (family, hobbies, etc.). You can unlock a real conversation. Let me know your tips in the comments.

🚀 𝗘𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗜𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗜𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗦𝗼𝗳𝘁 – 𝗜𝘁’𝘀 𝗘𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗮𝗹. 𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲’𝘀 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗠𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗜𝘁. In the world of leadership and negotiation, EQ isn’t a “nice-to-have”—it’s the bridge between conflict and collaboration. After years of working across cultures and boardrooms, here’s what I’ve learned about sharpening this skill: 1️⃣ Pause > React When tensions rise, silence is your ally. A 3-second pause before responding diffuses defensiveness and lets logic override emotion. My simple hack: “Let me think about that” buys time and respect. 2️⃣ Listen to Understand, Not to Reply This is a tough one. I personally fail at least in 90% of the cases in following my own advice. Most “listening” is just waiting for a turn to speak. Ask one clarifying question before sharing your perspective. Example: “What’s the biggest concern behind this?” 🎯 3️⃣ Feedback = Growth Accelerator Don’t just ask IF you can improve – ask HOW. Try: “What’s one behavior I could adjust to make our collaboration or interaction more effective?” Brutal honesty hurts sometimes, but it’s how leaders evolve. 4️⃣ Empathy ≠ Agreement You can validate feelings without endorsing viewpoints. Phrases like “I see why this matters to you” build trust before aligning (or redirecting) priorities. This is one of the most effective hacks because it turns the other side into a more receptive, open mode. 5️⃣ Stress Sabotages EQ When overwhelmed, even the best leaders default to autopilot. Create a 2-minute reset ritual: deep breathing, a walk around the block, or jotting down three priorities. There is a reason why breathing coaches exist. It is the most effective way to calm down. Scientifically proven! 𝗠𝘆 𝗧𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗔𝘄𝗮𝘆: EQ is the difference between a TRANSACTIONAL interaction and a TRANSFORMATIONAL one. Whether negotiating a deal or resolving team friction, or leading your team members, it’s the one skill that turns friction into momentum. 💡 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗧𝗮𝗸𝗲: How do you cultivate emotional intelligence in high-stakes moments? Share a lesson that’s shaped your approach. ”𝗣𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗮𝗶𝗱, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆’𝗹𝗹 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗺𝗮𝗱𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹.” – 𝗠𝗮𝘆𝗮 𝗔𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗹𝗼𝘂 #Empathy #Leadership #Negotiation #EQ #Collaboration