Handling Engineering Team Dynamics

How to Handle Difficult Team Members Without Destroying Morale. They were dragging the whole team down. Negativity. Missed deadlines. Constant resistance. It felt like an impossible situation until we changed our approach. Here’s how we turned things around: ➡ Step 1: Understand the Root Cause → Behavior issues often stem from deeper problems. → We had honest conversations to uncover the reason. ➡ Step 2: Set Clear Expectations → Ambiguity fuels frustration. → We redefined roles, responsibilities, and accountability. ➡ Step 3: Coach, Don’t Control → Instead of managing harder, we coached smarter. → Providing feedback with empathy shifted their mindset. ➡ Step 4: Know When to Let Go → Not everyone will align with the culture. → Tough calls must be made for the team’s health. The result? → A stronger, more aligned team. → Higher morale and better collaboration. → A culture that thrives, not survives. Great leaders don’t avoid tough situations. They transform them. PS. If you're struggling with team dynamics, let's build a leadership strategy that turns challenges into wins. 

Managing team dynamics is like balancing on a tightrope. You’ve got conflicting personalities, expectations, and communication styles. Each day feels like putting out fires, trying to get everyone aligned while managing the external pressure of deadlines. The villain? Miscommunication and competing interests. You want your team to perform at their best, but if you are… →Missing clear feedback  →Ignoring misunderstandings →Avoiding unresolved tensions →Letting office politics/biases create a divide You’re not just managing projects; you're navigating complex human emotions. It can sometimes feel like you need a psychology degree to be a leader these days. Here are a few actionable steps, based on science from Relationship Intelligence, to manage team dynamics better: 1. 𝗨𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗠𝗼𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 - 3𝗣𝘀 People tend to be motivated by a blend of these three things but ~70% of people are more motivated by one over the others ⚓Process - a desire to create order  ⚓Performance - a desire to get things done ⚓People - a desire to help develop and grow others No one “P” is more important as every team mission requires a blend of all of these to be sustainable. Ask: “What do you find the most rewarding in being part of a team - creating order out of chaos, achieving results or supporting and developing others?” 2. 𝗠𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗹𝗶𝗰𝘁 - 3𝗔𝘀 Conflict will happen. Understanding how people react when they are feeling opposition will be useful in supporting them. Accommodate - be wary when someone is too quick to acquiesce. They may be feeling conflict and simply trying to avoid a difficult conversation. Say: “I’d love to hear contrasting opinions on this topic - who can help think of one?” Analyze - don’t mistake quiet for disinterest. You might notice them trying really hard to find the most reasonable, logical solution. Say: “What information would be helpful to make this decision? How much time do you need?” Assert - don’t mistake passion for anger. They may show a lot of energy about taking action. Do: Be direct, brief and clear. State your intent to find a quick solution. Match their energy to understand the issue’s importance. 3. 𝗥𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗴𝗻𝗶𝘇𝗲 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗴𝘁𝗵𝘀, 𝗕𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗦𝗽𝗼𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗙𝗿𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗔𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘀 Strengths, or behaviours, are often aligned with our motivations. If a team has a bias towards performance their strengths may be heavy towards ‘quick to act’. Individuals within teams might have natural friction areas - one person is very social and another very reserved. Proactively design how everyone can feel respected and valued without dismissing others. 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗺𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻’𝘁 𝗯𝘂𝗶𝗹𝘁 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝗳𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗯𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱𝘀 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗯𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱𝘀 𝘀𝘂𝗰𝗰𝗲𝘀𝘀.    When team dynamics work, everything else follows. PS: What’s one thing you wish you could change about your team?

🚀 Ever wondered how elite teams like the Blue Angels achieve breakthrough performance? It’s not just about skill—it’s about mastering five key dynamics that can transform any team. Here’s how these principles have shaped both my flying squadrons and the teams I work with today: 1. Safe Environment: Creating an environment where everyone feels safe to speak up and share ideas fosters innovation and openness. 2. Check Your Ego: High-performing teams operate on the principle of ‘we, not I’. This approach ensures the collective goal always remains the priority. 3. Lay it on the Table: A culture where successes are celebrated and failures are openly discussed and learned from builds trust and improves team performance. 4. Own it and Fix it: Emphasizing that everyone owns both the outcomes and the processes leads to deep commitment and accountability. 5. Glad To Be Here®: Encouraging a mindset of constant learning and adaptation keeps the team moving forward, avoiding complacency. By integrating these dynamics into your team’s foundation, you create a resilient, adaptable, and high-performing environment. Whether you’re in the skies or in the office, these principles pave the path to excellence. Ready to elevate your team’s performance to elite levels? #Leadership #Teamwork #HighPerformance #GladToBeHere #BlueAngels

The team was struggling. Tension and mistrust were evident in every interaction, and blame had become the go-to response whenever things went wrong. This habit of blaming others was a clear sign of deeper fears and uncertainty within the team. We started the coaching process by creating a safe space for everyone to express their feelings. It quickly became clear that the blame culture was a defense mechanism, rooted in a fear of failure and accountability. Instead of pointing fingers, we shifted the focus to understanding the bigger issues causing the problems. Through open conversations and structured exercises, the team began to see how each person played a part in the challenges they were facing. This shift was tough but necessary to build ownership and accountability. We introduced a 'blame-free feedback' approach, where team members could share constructive criticism without making it personal. Over several month, a culture of openness and transparency started to take hold. Team members began to openly share problems and seek support rather than hiding issues. This change was evident as they started working together to find solutions. The journey wasn’t easy. There were setbacks and moments when old habits resurfaced. But with ongoing support and reinforcement of the new norms, the team gradually became more cohesive and resilient. This case demonstrates the importance of addressing the emotional roots of team dynamics. By bringing in the principles of a safe environment and encouraging open communication, team coaching became the tool for transforming a toxic culture.   Key Learnings for Team Coaches: -Emotions reveal underlying issues. Ask yourself: "What is this emotion informing me about regarding this team/organization?" -Building trust and psychological safety is essential. Spend time and come back to the discussion about guiding principles in and outside team coaching engagement. -Focus on solving systemic problems, not blaming individuals. Crafted questions and powerful interventions are the must! -Progress takes time but leads to lasting change. Do not expect the change overnight. It took me several months to get to such a place with this team. #siliconvalleycoach #teamcoaching #teamcoach