Importance of Active Listening

Empathy isn’t soft it’s a superpower. Used wrong, it burns leaders out. Here’s how to make it sustainable. Empathic orgs see more creativity, helping, resilience and less burnout and attrition. Employees (esp. Millennials/Gen Z) now expect it. Wearing the “empathy helmet” means you feel everyone’s highs and lows. Middle managers fry first. Caring ≠ self-sacrifice. The fix = Sustainable empathy Care without collapsing by stacking: self-compassion → tuned caring → practice. So drop the martyr mindset. • Notice your stress (name it) • Remember it’s human & shared • Talk to yourself like you would a friend • Ask for help model it and your team will too Why does this matter? Unchecked stress dulls perspective and spikes reactivity. When leaders absorb nonstop venting, next-day negativity rises and so does mistreatment. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Move 2: Tune your caring Two empathies: • Emotional empathy = feel their pain • Empathic concern = help relieve it Keep concern high, distress low. “Caring binds; sharing blinds.” How to tune (in the moment) • 60 seconds of breathing before hard talks • Validate without absorbing: “This is hard and it makes sense.” • Boundaries + presence: “I’m here. Let’s focus on next steps.” • Offer concrete help: “Here’s what we’ll try by Friday.” • Also share joy celebrate wins to refuel the tank Move 3: Treat empathy as a skill It’s trainable. Build emotional balance: shift from absorbing pain → generating care. Try brief compassion meditation (“May you be safe, well, at ease.”) and pre-regulate before tough conversations. Mini audit after tough chats Ask yourself: • How much did I feel with vs. care for? • What do they need long-term? • What will I do to help this week? A simple script 1. Validate: “I can see why this stings.” 2. Future: “Success looks like X.” 3. Action: “Let’s do Y by [date]; I’ll support with Z.” Team rituals that sustain you • Start meetings with “What help do you need?” • Normalize asking for support • Micro-celebrate progress weekly • Protect recovery blocks on calendars Self-compassion + tuned concern + practice = sustainable empathy. What’s one habit you’ll try this week to protect your energy and support your team?

Real conversations at work feel rare. Lately, in my work with employees and leaders, I’ve noticed a troubling pattern: real conversations don’t happen. Instead, people get stuck in confrontation, cynicism, or silence. This pattern reminded me of a powerful chart I often use with executives to talk about this. It shows that real conversations—where tough topics are discussed productively—only happen when two things are present: high psychological safety and strong relationships. Too often, teams fall into one of these traps instead: (a) Cynicism (low safety, low relationships)—where skepticism and disengagement take over. (b) Omerta (low safety, high relationships)—where people stay silent to keep the peace. (c) Confrontation (high safety, low relationships)—where people speak up but without trust, so nothing moves forward. There are three practical steps to create real conversations that turn constructive discrepancies into progress: (1) Create a norm of curiosity. Ask, “What am I missing?” instead of assuming you’re right. Curiosity keeps disagreements productive instead of combative. (2) Balance candor with care. Being direct is valuable—but only when paired with genuine respect. People engage when they feel valued, not attacked. (3) Make it safe to challenge ideas. Model the behavior yourself: invite pushback, thank people for disagreeing, and reward those who surface hard truths. When safety is high, people contribute without fear. Where do you see teams getting stuck? What has helped you foster real conversations? #Leadership #PsychologicalSafety #Communication #Trust #Teamwork #Learning #Disagreement

"In teamwork, silence isn't golden, it's deadly." 🔹 Throughout my leadership journey in the #CivilServices, I have come to appreciate the critical role that #communication plays in building successful teams. 🔹 It's not just about issuing directives—it's about ensuring that every team member feels: ➡️ Heard ➡️ Valued ➡️ Connected to the organization’s broader mission and vision. 🔹 In the often rigid structure of the bureaucratic system, I’ve always felt the need for more horizontal and bottom-up communication. ➡️ Implementing these channels has had a significant impact: ✨ It allows me to voice my insights and concerns upwards. ✨ It encourages my staff to share their feedback and ideas openly, fostering a sense of unity and shared purpose. 🔹 By prioritizing regular updates, open discussions, and feedback loops, we: ➡️ Celebrate our achievements. ➡️ Address any challenges collaboratively. ➡️ Keep everyone informed, engaged, and motivated to move forward together. 🔹 Working in dynamic settings means setbacks are inevitable. ➡️ But the real strength of a team lies in its ability to openly address challenges and brainstorm solutions together. ➡️ By fostering a culture of open communication, we anticipate potential roadblocks and develop strategies to overcome them collectively. 🔍 How do you encourage communication within your teams? I’d love to hear about the unique ways you promote a culture of open dialogue and shared purpose in your organization!

When I launched my podcast, I had to interview smart minds. I was nervous and unprepared. I treated every conversation like ping-pong. I asked, they answered. Back and forth. Hit and miss. No depth, no insight, no connection. This is how most of us communicate. We talk to reply, not to learn. “Listening is an art that requires attention over talent, spirit over ego, others over self.” - Dean Jackson Your listening and communication skills determine your success in: - Sales - Relationships - Leadership - Life Bottom line: It matters. And we can do better. I’ve improved a lot. It wasn’t easy, but these are 5 frameworks that helped me listen better and transform how I communicate. 1. The Ladder of Inference (Bias). We often make assumptions and jump to conclusions, without checking the facts and logic. This leads to confusion, conflict, and poor decisions. To avoid this, we need to climb DOWN the ladder and question our thinking. This is a dangerous ladder that creates bias and limits us. 2. The Five Whys. A simple way to go deeper. Ask “why” (5 times) until you find the root cause. - It uncovers hidden assumptions and beliefs. - It prevents superficial solutions. - Be curious and open-minded and keep digging. 3. Affective Frame A technique teachers use. When you know why you care, you’ll pay more attention (and listen better). We can lose focus and drift away. Constantly remind yourself of the purpose and value of the conversation. You’ll stay engaged longer. 4. Signal vs. Noise: Signal: The main message or idea. Noise: Anything that distracts, confuses, or weakens the signal. We’re bad at expressing our thoughts. This leads to chaos. - Be clear and concise. - Use simple words and sentences. - Avoid jargon and filler words. This will help the other person focus. Complex questions or vague thoughts lead to messy back and forth. 5. The Pareto Principle. We don’t need to cover every topic every time. Pareto principle tells us that 80% of the outcomes come from 20% of the inputs, actions, or ideas. However, more often than not, we repeat 80% of the things that only produce 20% of the results, instead of the opposite. This happens because the 20% that produces the 80% is the hard work, the tough tasks, the deep, challenging questions. Remember. Time is precious. We only have so much time to communicate and get things done. - Focus on the important work. - Have the difficult conversation. - Ask the hard questions. That’s how you make every conversation count.

8 Ways to Disagree Without Fighting (transform conflict into productive chats): Most arguments escalate because of how we communicate. These techniques transform conflicts into productive conversations. 1. "Validation First" ↳ Acknowledge their viewpoint before sharing yours ↳ Creates psychological safety for honest dialogue 2. "The Curiosity Bridge" ↳ Ask genuine questions instead of making statements ↳ Shifts from debate mode to exploration mode 3. "Impact Ownership" ↳ Use "I feel" instead of "You made me feel" ↳ Removes accusatory language that triggers defensiveness 4. "Precision Disagreement" ↳ Challenge specific points, not the entire perspective ↳ Makes disagreement manageable rather than overwhelming 5. "Common Ground Anchoring" ↳ Start with what you both agree on before addressing differences ↳ Establishes a foundation of alignment first 6. "Future Focus" ↳ Frame discussion around solutions, not past mistakes ↳ Directs energy toward resolution rather than blame 7. "Language Softeners" ↳ Use phrases like "I wonder if" instead of "You're wrong" ↳ Reduces defensive reactions while preserving your point 8. "Reflection Pause" ↳ Take a moment of silence before responding to heated comments ↳ Prevents impulsive statements that escalate tension Disagreement doesn't require division. It requires communication skill and emotional intelligence. How do you usually handle disagreements? 🤔 ♻️ Share this to help someone transform their difficult conversations ➕ Follow Helene Guillaume Pabis for more relationship intelligence insights

What do you do when someone on your team is brave enough to criticise you? Me? I promote them as soon as possible. Why? Because in high-performing companies, innovation thrives when teams feel empowered to challenge ideas respectfully. As a leader, fostering a culture of constructive dissent can unlock your team’s full potential and fuel spectacular business growth. Here are 5 techniques I use to build openness and encourage dialogue: 1. Encourage continuous feedback Don’t wait for annual reviews or formal discussions. Make candid feedback a regular part of daily operations — through check-ins, town halls, or anonymous surveys. The more often feedback is shared, the less intimidating it becomes. 2. Model respectful dissent How do you react when your ideas are challenged? Leaders should actively invite differing viewpoints and listen with an open mind. When leaders encourage respectful dissent, it signals to everyone that diverse perspectives are truly valued. 3. Reward honest opinions Recognise those who respectfully challenge the status quo. This reinforces the idea that fresh thinking is an asset, not a liability. (Fun fact: The US State Department has an annual Constructive Dissent Award, given to those who courageously stand by their principles.) 4. Be transparent in decision-making After making a decision, explain the reasoning behind it. Even if someone’s idea isn’t chosen, knowing their input was genuinely considered strengthens future buy-in and trust. 5. Align after discussion Once a decision is made, the team must unite behind it to make it work. Remind everyone that while debate is healthy during the process, whole-hearted execution is key to success. You really can criticise your way to success. A culture of constructive dissent leads to smarter decisions and a more productive team. The key? Making sure every voice is heard and valued. Do you agree? Promise not to fire you if you don't!

Do you know why some leaders inspire while others merely manage? The difference is active listening. Leadership isn’t a one-way street. It’s a dialogue: a continuous exchange that strengthens teams, builds trust, and fuels growth. And it all begins with active listening. Leaders who listen inspire their teams to give their best. Research shows just how much listening matters: Gallup reports that employees who feel heard are 4.6 times more likely to perform at their best. On the flip side, poor listening accounts for 60% of workplace misunderstandings and errors. Here’s what I focus on to ensure I’m leading with my ears as much as my words: ✅ Put distractions aside: Phones down, laptops closed. When someone speaks, my attention is fully theirs. ✅ Ask open-ended questions: Ones that go beyond surface answers and invite deeper perspectives. ✅ Engage visibly: I make eye contact, nod, and use small cues to show I’m following along and valuing each word. These might seem like small habits, but they make a big impact. They build trust and make people feel valued, and it’s something I believe every leader should adopt. Listening is the bedrock of genuine leadership. When your team knows their voices matter, you foster a culture of innovation, collaboration, and growth. Because, ultimately, leaders who don’t listen will eventually surround themselves with people who have nothing to say. #ActiveListening #InspiringTeams #EmployeeEngagement #CultureOfTrust

It sounds simple, but in practice, it’s one of the hardest things to do as a leader. We often feel the need to give advice, share our expertise, or offer solutions. But here’s the thing: truly great leadership isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about listening to your team and empowering them to share their insights, concerns, and ideas. When you listen, you build trust and create an environment where everyone feels heard and valued. You encourage collaboration, innovation, and real connection. And most importantly, you get to the heart of the issues that matter, both for the work and for the people you lead. The next time you find yourself ready to jump in with a solution, take a breath and ask a question instead. Practice Radical Candor by caring personally and challenging directly, but always remember: the best way to lead is to listen first. Let’s create more space for listening. How do you show your team that you’re really hearing them? #RadicalCandor #Leadership #ListeningIsKey

Listening isn’t one skill—it’s three. Most people stop at the first. I like to think of listening in 3 layers: 1. Listening = paying attention to the words 2. Understanding = paying attention to what the words mean 3. Deep understanding = paying attention to what isn’t being said Most communication doesn’t break down because of what’s said—but because of what’s missed. In conversations that count—with your team, your customers, your family—the difference between listening and deep understanding can shape everything that follows. Do this to listen better. After your next important conversation, take one minute and ask: - What did they say? - What did they mean? - What did they leave unsaid? That pause will help you avoid misunderstanding—and build the alignment you need.

I've noticed a trend where people listen just to respond, which is far from ideal. Whether in meetings, events, or casual conversations, dealing with people who don’t listen is both challenging and frustrating. I’ve seen this countless times, and I've become adept at recognizing when someone is no longer truly engaged, even if they're physically present. Why does this happen? ➊ Lack of interest ➋ Short attention span ➌ Habit of multitasking ➍ Assuming they already know the answer Whatever the reason, this lack of focus hampers meaningful conversations and leaves others feeling insignificant or unimportant. When you don’t truly understand, how can you connect or find the right solution? ---> Takeaway Listen to genuinely understand what others are saying. This means striving to grasp the speaker's perspective and emotions, not just crafting a response. In workplaces, this kind of listening is transformative. - Leaders who listen understand their teams better. - Teams that listen collaborate more effectively. It's the secret to fostering a supportive and innovative work environment. How to listen to understand? - Be fully present. - Acknowledge the other party's point of view. - Ask open-ended questions to encourage elaboration. - Use emotional intelligence to interpret non-verbal cues, body language, and tone. - Employ pauses and silence to give the other person time to reflect and respond. The benefits of listening to understand are immense: - Fostering empathy - Deepening mutual respect - Building genuine connections - Enhancing problem-solving and collaboration So, the next time you're in a conversation… Stop Trying to Fix Things, Just Listen. You might be surprised by the insights you gain and the connections you build. #Empathy #Communication #Leadership