Handling Performance Reviews As A First-Time Manager

As performance review season approaches, I've been reflecting on a conversation from over a decade ago that still sits with me today. During my review, my manager told me I "needed to work on my confidence." When I asked for clarification, she said, "Think about how [male colleague] would have handled this situation." I can't fully fault my manager - who was herself a woman. We all carry internalized biases that we've absorbed from years of working in systems that often value traditionally masculine behaviors. It's a stark reminder that unlearning these patterns requires conscious effort from all of us, regardless of gender. That moment crystallized something I've observed throughout my career: vague feedback often masks unconscious bias, particularly in performance reviews. "Lack of confidence" is frequently used as shorthand to describe women's leadership styles, while similar behavior in male colleagues might be viewed as "thoughtful" or "measured." Here's what I wish that manager had said instead: 🔹 "I'd like you to take the lead in proposing solutions to the team, rather than waiting to be called on." 🔹"Let's work on defending your decisions with data when faced with pushback from folks." 🔹"I noticed you often preface your ideas with "I think..." Let's practice delivering recommendations with clear rationale and conviction." 🔹"Here are specific techniques to influence cross-functional stakeholders more effectively." As leaders, we are responsible for being intentional and specific in our feedback. Vague critiques like "needs more confidence" or "should be more assertive" without concrete examples or actionable guidance don't help our reports grow – they perpetuate harmful stereotypes. To my fellow managers preparing for year-end reviews: 🔹Be specific about behaviors, not personality traits 🔹Provide clear examples and contexts 🔹Outline actionable steps for improvement 🔹Check your biases - are you applying the same standards across your team? Remember: The impact of your words may last far longer than the conversation itself. #Leadership #PerformanceReviews #UnconsciousBias #WomenInBusiness #ProfessionalDevelopment

In my first year as a manager I alienated one of my reports by giving him too much feedback in a direct and pointed way. The feedback was "right" but delivered to bluntly and thus unwelcome. Just because you “can” give feedback doesn’t mean you should. The power of your feedback comes from the trust you build with your reports. Here is how you can build it: The most important thing to understand is that even if you have the institutional authority to deliver this feedback (your title), you need the relational authority before you can deliver it effectively. Read this line again please - doing so will help you avoid either giving pain or making problems for yourself (I did both). This means that your reports need to trust and respect you before they will listen to any feedback you give. You can build this trust and respect by: 0) Being Empathetic I was too blunt. I thought that only being right or wrong mattered, not how I said things or the judgment in my tone and words. I lacked Emotional Intelligence (EQ). How you say things matters, and this means not just the words you say but the real intent behind them. My intention in that early review was not truly focused on helping the person, but rather on scolding him into better behavior. I'm not surprised he reacted poorly to it. 1) Being Consistent Good managers are consistently giving feedback—both bad and good—to their reports. Make sure you are recognizing and acknowledging your employees’ strengths as much (or more) than you are pointing out their areas for improvement. This will make them feel comfortable with you pointing out room for improvement because they know you see them for more than their flaws. 2) Never surprise someone with a review. This is related to point 1. If you are consistently giving small pieces of feedback, a more serious piece of negative feedback should not blindside your employee. They should know that it is coming and understand what the issue is. 3) Deliver corrective feedback ASAP, and use clear examples. As soon as you see a pattern of behavior that needs to be addressed, address it using clear evidence. This gives the employee the chance to reflect on the behavior while it is still fresh in their minds, not months later when their review comes around. 4) Check in to confirm that you are being heard correctly Ask the employee if they understand the feedback you are giving and why you are giving it. 5) Be specific enough to drive change The more specific behaviors and examples you can use to support your feedback, the better your employee can understand that you aren’t speaking from a place of dislike or bias. This also gives them more concrete references to inform their behavior change. Readers—What other ways do you build a relationship before giving feedback? (Or, how have you messed this up?)

If someone is surprised by the feedback they receive, this is a management failure. After witnessing multiple instances of this failure at Amazon, we realized our feedback mechanism was deeply flawed. So, we fixed it. In order for the organization to perform at its highest, employees need to know not only what is expected of them, but also how those expectations will be measured. Too often, managers assume that capable people will simply “figure things out,” but this is difficult and destined to fail without explicit expectations and continuous feedback. I remember the experience of an employee we can call “Melinda.” She had been a strong performer for two years before she transitioned into a new role on another team. She attacked the new opportunity with enthusiasm, working long hours and believing she was on the right track. Then, her manager expressed concerns about her performance and the criticism came as a shock. The feedback was vague, and there had been no regular check-ins or early signs to help her course-correct. This caused her motivation to suffer and her performance declined significantly. Eventually, she left the company. Afterward, we conducted a full review and we discovered that Melinda’s manager had never clearly articulated the expectations of the new role. Worse, her previous achievements had been disregarded in her evaluation. The system had failed her. This incident was not isolated. It illustrated a pattern. It revealed broader gaps in how we managed performance transitions and feedback loops. So, in response, we developed and deployed new mechanisms to ensure clarity from day one. We began requiring managers to explicitly define role expectations and conduct structured check-ins during an employee’s first 90 days in a new position. We also reinforced the cultural norm that feedback must be timely, specific, and actionable. These changes were rooted in a core principle of leadership: you have to make others successful too. Good management does not involve catching people off guard or putting them in “sink or swim” situations. When employees fail because expectations were unclear, that failure belongs to the manager. The best thing to do when you see those failures is to treat them as systems to improve. That’s how you build a culture of high performance.