Managing Frustration with a Coworker Who Is Hard to Please

How to Deal with Difficult Coworkers 👇 I've worked with some challenging people in my career... and honestly? Each one took a big toll on me. Sometimes it was a client... Sometimes a coworker... And sometimes my manager. Toxic work environments can be out of our control - you just can't predict who you'll work with, no matter how much you research a job in advance. But with the right approach, you CAN improve your situation. ➡️ DON'T PLAY THE VICTIM — EVEN IF YOU ARE ONE Your job is to make your manager's life easier — not harder. Complaining without a solution shows poor leadership and signals you can't solve problems independently. Take responsibility and start solving the problem yourself. This mindset shift alone can dramatically change outcomes. ➡️ NOTHING WILL CHANGE UNLESS YOU DO SOMETHING The other person may not even know there's a problem, or they don't have enough reason to change. Speak up in a private, non-combative way: "I work best when..." or "It's challenging for me when..." Attack the problem, not the person. One conversation can transform a relationship that's been difficult for months. ➡️ GIVE DIRECT BUT RESPECTFUL FEEDBACK Pick a 1:1, a check-in, or ask for a meeting. Keep it calm, constructive, and focused on collaboration. You're not confronting — you're informing and improving. Frame it as a joint effort to create a better working relationship. ➡️ PROTECT YOUR REPUTATION If the situation might impact your image, notify your manager. Let them know you're working on it and will update them. This protects you from having your reputation damaged if the wrong story gets out. It shows maturity and leadership under pressure. ➡️ STAY PROFESSIONAL — ALWAYS Matching disrespect with disrespect only fuels the fire. They'll use your reaction as ammunition to continue their behavior or claim you're being unprofessional. Don't stoop to their level. Stay calm, stay sharp. When they go low, you go high. ➡️ BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE When you feel mistreated, take notes on what specifically bothers you. Use it to guide how you will treat others someday when you're in a position of authority. Great leaders don't repeat bad management — they learn from it. Managing people is genuinely hard - balancing praise with constructive feedback takes skill. ➡️ DON'T FIX IT FOR OTHERS — HELP THEM FIX IT THEMSELVES If someone comes to you with a coworker problem, listen. But instead of solving it for them, empower them to act. Teach them how to handle it — that's true leadership. As the saying goes, give someone a fish and you feed them for a day; teach them to fish and you feed them for a lifetime. === Sometimes, despite your best efforts, there's no fixing a toxic environment. Know when it's time to move departments or jobs. I'm a big believer that who you work with matters as much as what you do. What strategies have worked for you when dealing with difficult coworkers? Drop your thoughts below 👇

Stop dreading tough talks. Master them with these 21 phrases instead: I once snapped when a colleague questioned my timeline. My defensive reaction created a week of tension. That day I realized emotional responses solve nothing. They only create new problems. We've all been there: Feeling defensive Reacting without thinking Watching a simple disagreement turn into a lasting conflict But I've learned the shift from reactive to constructive changes everything ✨ 21 ways smart people handle difficult conversations: 1) Lead with Curiosity ↳ "Tell me more about your perspective on this" ↳ Questions defuse tension faster than statements 2) Name the Energy ↳ "I notice there's tension here, let's address it" ↳ Acknowledgment creates safety 3) Find Common Ground ↳ "We both want what's best for the project" ↳ Alignment before action 4) Set Clear Expectations ↳ "Here's what I need, what do you need?" ↳ Clarity prevents future conflict 5) Pause the Escalation ↳ "Let's take a step back and break this down" ↳ Breathing room creates solutions 6) Mirror Their Language ↳ Use their exact key words when responding ↳ Matching builds instant connection 7) Acknowledge Impact ↳ "I see how this affects your priorities" ↳ Understanding beats defense 8) Own Your Part ↳ "Here's where I could have done better" ↳ Accountability creates trust 9) Focus Forward ↳ "How can we prevent this next time?" ↳ Solutions beat blame 10) Check Understanding ↳ "Here's what I'm hearing - am I getting it right?" ↳ Clarity prevents escalation 11) Create Space ↳ "Let's revisit this when we're both fresh" ↳ Time transforms tension 12) Stay on Topic ↳ "Let's focus on solving this specific issue" ↳ Boundaries keep talks productive 13) Express Confidence ↳ "I know we can figure this out together" ↳ Belief shifts energy 14) Share Context ↳ "Here's what led to my decision" ↳ Understanding reduces resistance 15) Invite Solutions ↳ "What ideas do you have for this?" ↳ Collaboration beats control 16) Set Timelines ↳ "When should we check in on this?" ↳ Structure creates safety 17) Validate Concerns ↳ "That's a legitimate worry - let's address it" ↳ Recognition reduces defense 18) Stay Factual ↳ "Here's what the data shows us" ↳ Evidence beats emotion 19) Close with Action ↳ "Let's clarify next steps together" ↳ Progress prevents repeat issues 20) Follow Through ↳ "As we discussed, here's what I've done" ↳ Action builds credibility 21) Document Growth ↳ "Here's how we'll work differently now" ↳ Learning beats repeating Difficult conversations aren't obstacles to success. They're the moments where true connection happens ✨ Which strategy will you try in your next challenging conversation? -- ♻️ Repost to help your network transform difficult conversations into opportunities 🔔 Follow Dr. Carolyn Frost for more practical tools to succeed with confidence

As leaders, we often have to deal with more than just managing projects...we have to manage people, and not all of them are easy to work with 👀 Whether it’s a toxic colleague, a difficult client, or someone who thrives on conflict, these situations can derail progress if you’re not equipped to handle them effectively... 🟠 One technique to help you with this is the D.E.E.P technique. ➡️This communication strategy helps you stay composed, set boundaries, and avoid getting pulled into unnecessary conflict. ❊ 𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲’𝘀 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝗮𝘀 𝗮 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗳𝗼𝗰𝘂𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗴𝘆: 🔹 𝗗𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗗𝗲𝗳𝗲𝗻𝗱: When you’re dealing with someone who’s pushing your buttons—especially a toxic personality—resist the urge to defend yourself. In the workplace, defending every decision or action often just fuels the fire. Remember, toxic individuals often don’t care about your reasoning; they care about controlling the conversation. As a leader, your energy is better spent on moving the team forward, not justifying every move. Practice detachment and stay focused on your bigger goals. 🔹 𝗗𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗘𝗻𝗴𝗮𝗴𝗲: Difficult personalities thrive on drawing you into their chaos. It’s easy to get pulled into emotional battles, especially if it feels personal. But as a leader, you need to take a step back and ask yourself: Is engaging with this person productive, or is it a drain on my energy? Often, disengagement—keeping responses minimal and factual—takes away the power they have over you. By not engaging emotionally, you keep the conversation focused on solutions, not drama. 🔹 𝗗𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗶𝗻: It’s tempting to over-explain yourself, especially if you’re someone who values fairness and clarity. But toxic individuals usually aren’t looking for understanding; they’re looking for control. Over-explaining only feeds that need. Keep your responses clear, direct, and to the point. You don’t owe anyone a lengthy justification, especially when your leadership decisions are based on sound judgment. 🔹 𝗗𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗣𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘇𝗲: One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned as a leader is that not everything is about me. It can feel personal when someone’s being difficult, but toxic behavior often has more to do with the person causing it than the person on the receiving end. Don’t take it personally. Detach from their negativity, and remember: your leadership is defined by how you manage these situations, not by their opinion of you. •••••• The more time you spend defending, engaging, and explaining, the less time you actually spend leading effectively. Ultimately, leadership 𝗶𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗮𝗿𝗴𝘂𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁; it’s about knowing which battles are worth your energy and which aren’t. Difficult personalities will always exist, but they don’t have to shake your leadership 🙏🏻