Write in active voice

- [Describer] Leslie, our instructor, stands in the middle of a brightly lit office room near a long table with laptops on it. - I'm going to show you a couple of versions of a sentence, and you tell me which one's better, okay? - [Describer] On a blue background, a sentence reads, contact information must be provided for references and employers when Form 123 is completed. - [Leslie] Version A. Contact information must be provided for references and employers when Form 123 is completed. - [Describer] A second sentence slides in below. Your references and employers must provide their contact information when they complete Form 123. - [Leslie] Or version B. Your references and employers must provide their contact information when they complete Form 123. - [Describer] The second sentence slides up and the first one fades away. - [Leslie] Version B is better, right? That's because version B is written in active voice. - [Describer] The sentence fades away. Decorative hexagons in white, yellow, and gray float in with a title that reads, Active Voice. When the grammatical subject of the sentence is doing the action of the verb. - [Leslie] Active voice is a sentence structure where the grammatical subject of the sentence is doing the action of the verb. - [Describer] The slide fades away to a plain blue background. On it, text reads, your references and employers must provide their contact information when they complete Form 123. - [Leslie] In this active voice sentence, the subject of the first clause- - [Describer] References and employers highlights. - [Leslie] references and employers- - [Describer] Provide highlights. - [Leslie] is doing the action of the verb provide. - [Describer] They highlights. - [Leslie] The subject of the second clause, they, is doing the action of the verb complete. - [Describer] Complete highlights. Then the whole sentence returns to full brightness. - [Leslie] The active voice sentence makes clear who should complete the form. - [Describer] New text replaces the sentence. Residents within the area affected by the chemical spill were contacted by safety officials. - [Leslie] Writing in the active voice isn't hard. In fact, the grammar checking software you use will prompt you to change passive voice sentences- - [Describer] The sentence is replaced with safety officials contacted residents in the area affected by the chemical spill. - [Leslie] to active voice sentences. - [Describer] We return to the instructor. - So, why is writing sentences in active voice a plain language issue? Because active voice makes clear who should take action or who has taken action. Let me give you a couple of examples. - [Describer] On a white background with hexagons scattered decoratively, a title reads, Active Voice Sentences. - [Leslie] First, active voice sentences clearly explain who should take action. - [Describer] A bullet point slides in, reading, Who should take action. The slide fades away to an illustration of an auburn haired woman sitting at a computer with her legs crossed. - [Leslie] Let's imagine you bought a table online and when it was delivered the table was scratched. You email the manufacturer to complain. You want them to pay for the repair. - [Describer] A blue background replaces the image. Text on it reads, photo documentation of the damage must be submitted. - [Leslie] If their reply included this passive voice sentence, photo documentation of the damage must be submitted, that's confusing. Should you submit the documentation? Should the delivery company do it? - [Describer] We return to the instructor. - While that passive voice sentence is grammatically correct, it avoids giving the information the reader wants the most. - [Describer] On a blue background, text slides in, reading, you must submit photo documentation of the damage. - [Leslie] This active voice reply is much clearer. You must submit photo documentation of the damage. - [Describer] A white slide zips in, entitled, Active Voice Sentences Make It Clear. Bullet points list, who should take action, and who has taken action. - [Leslie] And the second reason active voice sentences are clearer is they show who has taken action. Who did what. - [Describer] The slide fades to a simplistic illustration of the auburn haired woman sitting across a desk with a laptop from a woman with cropped brown hair wearing a pink blazer. - [Leslie] Here's an example of how active voice shows who has taken action. You've interviewed for a job but haven't received an offer. - [Describer] The image fades to the auburn haired woman sitting at her computer. - [Leslie] You write a follow-up email to the executive who interviewed you, and they respond with this passive sentence. - [Describer] Text flies in. The job search has been called off. - [Leslie] The job search has been called off. Did the executive call off the job search? Was it someone else? - [Describer] The text is replaced with, the hiring manager called off the job search. - [Leslie] The active voice sentence is much clearer and more honest. The hiring manager called off the job search. - [Describer] We return to the instructor. - Most plain language writers work hard to write in active voice as often as possible. They know that readers want to easily understand who is doing what, and active voice sentences meet that need. They understand why a passive voice sentence sounds evasive, while the active voice version sounds candid. - [Describer] A gray graphic slides in on the bottom left. In it, an arrow points from Exercise Files to Write in Active Voice.pdf. - [Leslie] Need more practice in recognizing passive voice and writing in active voice? Download and work through the exercise file. Once you've completed it, you'll have a solid understanding of active voice and you'll know exactly what to do when the grammar checker gives you a squiggly line. - [Describer] Leslie smiles and fades to black.